This post is (not)literally nothing.

I was going to write about God but then I couldn't because I was too busy doing other stuff for other people and because I'm sleepy and because my back hurts and because I have to go now. I was also going to write about Utopia, but then I got distracted by Justin Bieber interviews. (What? Don't go hatin' on the Bieber.)

So that is all for now. I will hopefully write tomorrow. I don't know if you care either way, I just wanted to post   something today.

Bye, I guess.

~Sam 

Random ramblings by a hate-filled person.

IM FUCKING FRUSTRATED. AND PISSED AND MAD. Why? Well, you see I'm sick of everyone and everything. It really doesn't help that no one is replying to my texts. They're probably genuinely busy, but from my side, i just see it as-not replying. and then I'm all, fuck everyone. I don't need anyone.(take no offence. I'm pissed and irrational at the moment and mad at myself.) Basically all this frustration began with the fact that I tried to be productive today, and I DIDNT DO JACK-fucking-SQUAT. And then there are people who are too fucking modest. I HATE MODEST PEOPLE. IF YOU'RE GOOD, JUST SAY IT GOD DAMN IT. "Dude I didn't do ANYTHING!" OH REALLY? THEN WHY DID YOU GET THAT PROMOTION, THAT A+ ON THAT TEST?
Why can't I get anything done? duhudddddddddddddddd*(PQ3 FHUI DSERYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY4HFEC TUHHHHH9WEWEWEhusdiiiii. That was a result of me banging my head on the keyboard.

this is malko saying maytheforcebewithyou(it certainly isnt with me. I HATE YOU FORCE.)

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO- PAIN by THREE DAYS GRACE.
CURRENT MOOD: do i really have to tell you HOW im feeling right now?

Right here, Right now.

Currently listening to days are forgotten by kasabian.
currently obsessed with days are forgotten by kasabian, why this kolaveri (must be an indian to know this), here comes the sun by The Beatles.
Current mood-outcasted, depressed, self loathe(if thats even a feeling).

Why Freedom is a Myth

I wrote this for something else, but I have't updated in a long time, so here you go. 

Liberty, equality and fraternity.  Perhaps one of the most famous phrases of our times, these ideals were to be granted to all in the Utopian world imagined by the French Revolutionaries.  Unfortunately, the world today is no utopia. Let’s take just the first of these great ideals for now-liberty. Freedom. Independence. We may have won the latter years ago, but mankind in general is yet to attain the former, at least according to me. Freedom is a wonderful ideal, but in the end, that’s all it is. An ideal. A myth. A dream. An unattainable dream. Having to finish that presentation for work when you don't really give a damn about what you're talking about. Having to study for that test tomorrow when all you want to do is sleep. Having to smile, and talk to that lady when you’re bored out of your mind. Having to choose a career, a stream of study, anything because that is what pays, and that is what “society” respects and expects. Having to think five times before buying that pretty diamond necklace. Having to pander to social mores when all you want to do is kick and scream and shout and scratch. Is this the liberty we all believe we have? Is this “the right and power to act, believe, or express oneself in a manner of one's own choosing", which is what thefreedictionary defines liberty as?  Is this freedom? To me, freedom is, more than anything, the gift of choice. The choice to do what you want, when you want and how you want; to live the way you want, and die the same way.  To not be tied down by responsibility, or work, or grades, or marks, or ties, or anything. To be free, of judgements and expectations; discontentment and distress; fear and facade. Unfortunately, that is, always has been and in all probability always will be, just a dream.

~Sam

Right here, Right now

Currently listening to criminal by britney spears.
Currently obsessed with criminal by britney spears , countdown by beyonce.
Current mood- determined.

I know what youre thinking. Pop and me. But I do listen to pop. No really, I do.

Dear phone-making companies,

I have nails. You know, those annoyingly delicate and stubbornly transparent things growing at the end of your fingers, which refuse to turn a nice white-natural-french-manicure-type-opaque despite your best efforts, and which you glower at every time you see friends with strong, healthy,  non-transparent nails? Yeah, those. You know how hard it is to make my finger tip touch my phone from under those? No, of course you don't, because if you did, you'd manufacture more effing nail-sensitive ("resistive" is the technical term, they tell me) touch phones! Please go back to the Stone Age and start making resistive phones again. I don't care if capacitive phones are more advanced or progressive or fancy. I just want to be able to use my nails. That's all. Is that too much to ask? 

~Thanking you and sincerely hoping you'll heed my request before I have to take more stringent action (like having to cut off my talons, or maybe just sharpen them on your heads), Sam. 

scrapbook making

 Birthdays. *sigh* I was really confused on what to get my friend, so i settled for a scrapbook. ITS HARD. :S HELPPP.

Inheritance

Note: Here, I will be speaking of both the Inheritance Cycle and the last book of the series, Inheritance. If you haven't read them, you probably won't understand this.


I know, I know. It's cliched and it's tediously descriptive, it brings nothing new to the table and we all know what the ending will be. The problems are all easily solvable, with no real struggle, nor does it make you emote like other series of the same genre. Each book is about five times longer than it should be, the style of writing doesn't do much to commend itself, and the plot is pretty much something a fifth grader would come up with. Evil powerful king vs young untested boy? *yawn* Been there, done that. I'm too old for such books, and should probably be reading deep shit like this, or even better, catching up on that whole backlog of work before someone kills me.

But. Despite all of that, I still love it. I know everything will end happily ever after, and that Christopher Paolini (probably) doesn't have the strength (or meanness) required to kill off major characters, unlike a certain author who shall remain unnamed (but really. Why DOBBY? Why, J K Rowling, WHY? I finally almost forgave you for Sirius, and then you had to go kill Fred and Dobby? How could you be so heartless! You're such a talented author, I'm sure you could have come up with a way to make the story just as interesting without killing everyone that garnered an ounce of sympathy from me. But no, you had to go and show the world that nothing could come in the way of the story, not even basic humanity.)

Anyway. Inheritance. So..I know that Eragon will find some magic way of solving every problem in the world, and that he and Arya will get together somehow, and that Galbatorix will be defeated and all of Alagaesia will be at peace, and everyone will live happily ever after. But I don't know how. And I want to know. I need to know. Whatever you say about Paolini's writing skill, he's made me want that, need that. And so I will buy the book, and read it, and defend it, and love it.

And you can laugh all you want.

~Sam

I'm not sure why I wrote this. I just had to get that out there.



UPDATE: So apparently I was wrong in some of my predictions. Which, trust you me, does nothing to help the book. I'd rather it had taken its predictable way to its predictable end, than what actually happened. 

Our Forefathers Were Wise

Finally some time to write! One of the few advantages of falling sick, I suppose.

Anyway. I was thinking the other day, the older I get, the more I realize that all those maxims we've been hearing since we were little children-knowledge is power, a bird in hand is better than two in the bush, etc, etc-they're all so true.

• Knowledge is power. The more dirt you have on someone, the easier it is to blackmail them into doing something for you, as my friends have demonstrated time and again. 
• Ignorance is bliss. You were perfectly content with your life until you saw that new Guess bag which just came out, and learned of its existence, and all of a sudden, the world became a darker place. Or until you found out about that surprise test or whatever. 
• A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, as Wormtail so wonderfully showed us. [If you don't get that reference, you don't deserve to be here. Or you could, you know, just comment and ask me to explain. Or just find yourself some time to read one of the greatest series ever written.]
• A penny saved is a penny earned. Which, in today's world, just translates to "A pound not gained is a pound lost", which everyone knows is the truth. 
• A golden key can open any door-is there anyone on this planet who can't be bribed somehow or the other into doing something? 
• A leopard cannot change its spots, and I'm yet to meet a reformed bitch (screw trying to be PG-13).
• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as that mismatched couple living down any street can attest to. Also, why would he leave Jennifer to marry Angelina? Why, Brad, why?!  Ditto 'love is blind'. 
• You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can ground me, but you can't make me work. 
• When in Rome, do as Romans do. And don't wear miniskirts in the Middle East. (Again, no offence meant to anyone of any religion or faith. Just an example.)
• Two heads are better than one. Ever heard of the Hydra? Even today, the word is used for any un-resolvable problem. 
• Truth is stranger than fiction. THEY WERE MARRIED FOR 72 DAYS! SEVENTY. TWO. DAYS!
• There's an exception to every rule. Including sanity, apparently. 
• The female of the species is deadlier than the male. A line from a poem, and I have but one word to say to this-mosquitoes. 
• Make hay while the sun shines. And don't ask your mom for permission to go to that party when she's busy working, or is pissed at someone. 

I could go on like this forever, but I think I've made my point. Which is..sometimes, old people can be right. And lame-sounding stuff can be true. 

~Sam

Right here, Right now

currently listening to Shot In The Dark by Within Temptation.   Listen To It!
current mood- content.

READ ME IF YOU LIKE GOTH(even if you don't like it, you should try):
The entire album of Within Temptation's album is brilliant. 

I annoy myself.

Yeah, so I annoy myself because one moment I think I'm awesome and I'm pretty happy with how I am...and the next thing you know, I have self esteem issues. Its a sign of bipolarism(is that a word?), I'm sure.

this is malko saying, maytheforcebewithyou

Right here, Right now

Currently listening to All Over You by The Spill Canvas. Currently obsessed with Karma Police by Radiohead and Just in Love by Joe Jonas(shocking, I know). Current mood- randomness.

My happy place.

Perfect music brings me great joy. I have never loved anything or anyone as much as I love music. It doesn't take sides and is impartial. Music is my haven and saving grace. Sometimes I wonder whether I'd be the same person as I am now, if music hadn't been in my life. It is the only thing that has the power to cause change. For those of you who don't know me very well, now would be a good time to tell you that I have pretty strong emotions. Even my friends stay away from me when I get mad. When I have my "Piss off or else I will use words to make you cry" moments, music is the ONLY thing that has the power to influence me. Ever feel like a song was written for you? Or do you get the feeling that the artist is singing to you? Yeah. It's the best feeling. Because it gives you hope that you're not the only one feeling like shit. It helps me believe that i am not alone. When I listen to a good song, I forget everything. Where I am, what's going on, and all the shit that going on. Hell, a bomb could diffuse and I wouldn't notice. Those of you who love music as much as I do,know exactly what I'm talking about. Those of you who don't really get it and think " It's music. What's the big deal?" I'm terribly sorry to tell you that you are missing out on something extremely beautiful(forgive me for being critical, but I have freedom of speech). Its never to late. Pick up some ear worthy tracks and give it a shot. Give music a shot. It can change your life. I know it changed mine. This is malko saying maytheforcebewithyou.

Sam is a second grader.

Note: Everything in bold is written by Sam. So this is 2 people talking to you, not 1 person talking to him/herself. Just so that's clear. 
Moving on..
Sam and I were on the phone for an HOUR trying to customize our blog. So comments would be nice (so that Sam doesn't go and change it. Again. For the millionth time). Also because now I think that it looks real pretty and all, but it doesn't really match our personalities. Its too..serene?.. for a bunch of crazy people like us. So now I'm all confused again, but I honestly can't spend another hour trying to figure this out. So please comment, and tell us what you like, and what you hate, and what you would change and which has been your favorite template/layout/skin so far. Oh, and while you're at it, your favorite posts and what sort of stuff you want us to blog about. AND I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE SO DON'T JUST COME AND LOOK AND PRETEND YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS AND TRY TO SNEAK AWAY WITHOUT COMMENTING!*sits back and looks hopefully at the screen, waiting for comments to magically appear* 


So earlier we (read: Malko) were (was) just saying that if both of us logged onto the same g mail account and chatted there (if it was possible{it wasn't possible}), it would seem as though it was a schizophrenic person was talking to himself. (What? Why are you looking at us like that?)


 Let me tell you this, she changes her mind a million times! And she has this weird thing where she thinks everything should match. Like a second grader. I (thankfully) have grown out of the habit of making everything match(and was smart enough to realize that making stuff match was completely foolish.  WE CANNOT HAVE JARRING, MIS-MATCH-ING COLOR SCHEMES! What is so second-grader-y about that? Its not like I said, "Lets make everything blue!" {Okay, maybe I did. But that's not the point.} I just wanted it to look pretty. Is that so bad? *looks pitiably at you with cute puppy dog eyes she would kill to have in real life* So by the end of the conversation, I just kept refreshing the blog page every time she changed something and checking whether I liked it or not, and each time I would answer "its fine" in a completely monotonous and bored tone. Then Sam would get all upset saying "This blog is our baby! How can you not be excited?" Imagine the condition of her real babies! :O
Like, hello! Forgive me for caring! Hmph!


 And it is our baby. We created it, didn't we? :(


~Malko and Sam

 (Note: All of that commenting stuff doesn't apply to people who have my number and can just text me their opinions.) 


Update from the future: I refuse to accept I ever wrote this.

This is why I wish I were a gay guy.

"Nice guys are ugly, hot guys are assholes and nice hot guys are gay." Now in graph form. 

The accuracy of this picture is creepy.

~Sam

I try to see the good in life, But good things in life are hard to find. We'll blow it away, blow it away. Can we make this something good? Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

hi!

I dont know how many of you actually pay attention to my Right Here Right Now posts, but i figured that if i don't have anything to write about, i might as well put it in music. Its what im best at anyway. Im hoping you enjoy the music as much as i do. ^_^

malko saying maythemusicalforcebewithyou

Right here, Right now.

currently listening to  DONT WANNA BE- GAVIN DEGRAW
current mood- depressed.
 malko saying maytheforcebewithyou

I am about to have a breakdown.

People tired of me ranting and raving and being depressed and PMS-y, go away. This is not for you.

People depressed and looking for someone to empathize with , read on.

So I woke up happy today, and I thought-"I've been moaning too much, I should really surprise them (as in, you. Yes you. You right there looking at this right now) with a happy post." So then I was sitting and thinking about how the sun is shining and the birds are singing and la di da di da-and then shit happened. (Doesn't it always?). And I know it happens to everyone, and that I'll be happy again tomorrow, and that I'm not the only sufferer in the world, and that there are people out there who are suffering more than am, but when have other people's sufferings ever made a difference to your own? I can't tell you what my suffering is because I'm trying to be anonymous and not get killed or kidnapped by some random stalker, and this is a pretty identity-related problem, but what I can tell you is..its all building up. All the stress and the tension and the worry and the bullshit. The expectations and the judgement. All of it. Like tears at the back of your eyes, and that cry-ey feeling in your throat, which doesn't go away because you don't let yourself cry, for whatever reason. But one day, those tears are gonna come out. And I'm going to cry. And I'm going to scream. And I'm going to bitch and argue and fight and be an extremely mean, rude, selfish person who does not Give A Damn. And I really hope that day comes soon, because then it'll all be okay. It'll all be out, and I'll be normal again, I'll be me again. The tears will be out, all my frustrations will be vented, and we can all live happily ever after and not have to contend with depressing posts from me ever again. Until the next time I PMS. But anyways.

 So here is me sincerely hoping that Breakdown happens, and happens SOON. Or that all the frustration building up within me disappears on its own, without needing a breakdown, like ice cream in the fridge or money in the bank.

~A Very Bleh, Sam


I really hope no one read this. I haven't proofread, or even cared about being coherent. But if you did, kudos to you! And to me, because I finally managed to say "kudos" xD


I'll go away now. 

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of people telling me how to live my life.
I'm tired of having to do something just because the world demands it, because "that's the way its done".
I'm tired of customs and traditions and religion and hypocrisy and manipulations.
I'm tired of not knowing what I want, but wanting it just the same.
I'm tired of not having time.
I'm tired of pretenses and facades, lies and deception and unkept promises.
I'm tired of judgement.
I'm tired of appeasing.
I'm tired of imperfection.
I'm tired of being so discontent.
I'm tired of having so much work and so little sleep. I'm tired of insomnia.
I'm tired of unfulfilled dreams and of losing my dreams, my 'religion', my friends, my family, my ties.
I'm tired of worrying, about the environment, about the world, about myself, my future, my family, my friends.
I'm tired of sympathizing and empathizing, of feeling guilty and hating myself.
I'm tired of sickness and colds and aches and split-ends.
I'm tired of being a coward.
I'm tired of all the things wrong with this stupid world, filled with these stupid people and their stupid words.
I'm tired of having to know things.
I'm tired of suffering and pain and death, misery and fear and desperation.
I'm tired of having to give in to the "system". I'm tired of having no other choice.
I'm tired of planning, of losing all spontaneity.
I'm tired of having to think twice.
I'm tired of questions.
I'm tired of expectations.
I'm tired of competing.
I'm tired of caring.
I'm tired of mood swings and depression.
I'm tired of drifting.
I'm tired of rules.
I'm tired of inequality.
I'm tired of hating, and haters.
I'm tired of this world.

I'm just..tired.

~A Still PMS-ing, Sam.



Post inspired by: http://francesjoy.blogspot.com/2011/05/tired.html

Why can't the world just go away?

Because honestly, it isn't that great a world. If every single human being on the planet died, I think it would be a much, much better place. Because the way we're living, we don't deserve to live. Whether it be the wild jungle, or the concrete one, its still survival of the fittest. We can call ourselves civilized and human as many times as we want, but the truth is, animals are probably a hell lot more "humane" than we are. At least they don't lie. At least they don't deceive. At least they're honest. Even if its a fox, or a coyote or a vulture, at least its honest about its dishonesty and cunning-ness. They live together or in isolation, help each other or eat their young, at least you know where you stand with them. They kill because they have to, survive on inter-dependence and cos-existence, we just..do whatever we want to, and try to (and do) get away with it. At least they're honest.We, on the other hand, are not. There is not a single person on the face of this planet whom you don't know absolutely intimately that you can trust. And sometimes, you can't even trust them. Most rapes and kidnaps take place with the help of "trusted" friends or family. We've created this beautiful facade, where we all pretend to be kind and generous and sympathetic and Christian in our behavior, but how many of us really are? We sit and we criticize and we cry and we preach about starving orphans in Africa; what do we do about it? We're divided by every single possible thing in this world. Race, religion, country, color, caste, creed, gender..name it, and its a divide among humans. We speak about environmental problems and go and print a dozen flyers. We hold summits and spend the entire time arguing over what other people should do, how much they should pay, rather than thinking of what we can do. We take the microscopic minority of a group, a nation, any group, any nation, and make them representative of the whole. A few obvious examples- a Muslim planned 9/11, ergo, all Muslims are secretly planning to kill you. The American government interfered where it shouldn't have, ergo all Americans are bad, selfish hypocrites. An Australian behaved in a racist way, ergo all Australians are racists.

Really? I mean, really? You could know my parents since their childhood, know them inside out, but you still wouldn't know me, because I'm a different person, an individual. And if my parents can't give you any insight into who I am, what I am, how the hell can you judge me on what one of a million of my countrymen did dozens of years ago?!

I don't claim to have answers. I don't claim to be perfect. I've never donated for Africa and I've judged people on a minute's meeting. I'm just as prejudiced and evil as the next person. All I know is-I don't think we ever grow up, or learn anything. Sure, we speak a little better, dress it all up a little better, and sure, the stakes are a lot higher, but in the end, we're all little five year olds. Fighting with a sibling over the remote, fighting with the Israelis for Jerusalem. Quarreling over who gets the bigger room, starting World War 2 for a little bit of land. Thinking your mom favors the other kid, thinking the world is conspiring against you. We're masters at victimizing ourselves, at putting up these beautiful facades to make everything seem the way we want it to seem.If Hitler had won, we'd probably accept that the Holocaust was brilliant just as we accept all the other trash fed to us today. Governments, politicians, the media. How do we trust any of them? How do we know who's bad, and who's good? Is anyone good? We're civilized, we're globalized, but in the end, its just each man for himself. You might sympathize over a friend's pain, but you'll cry over your own. You might give someone a buck, but you wouldn't mind stealing someone else's job to earn ten thousand. You might be nice, but you'll never be nicer to anyone more than yourself, not your wife, not your kids, not your mother. We're literally animals. And that is why we're humans. And that is why the world should end.



~A Very Disillusioned (and majorly incoherent, I'm sorry if I couldn't get my point across very well) Sam

PS- I attribute the above post entirely to PMS which got me disillusioned and depressed, and hearing about Jullian Assange's extradition-thing, which got me started on the whole, "How do we know even Assange isn't secretly a selfish rapist-liar?" train of thought, which led me to this.

Right here, Right now.

currently listening to party rock anthem -LMFAO

EVERYDAY IM SHUFFLIN'! *does the shuffle dance with diksha , nanya, raiya and the neetster*

malko saying maytheSHUFFLINforcebewithyou.

Just Wondering

How come when a girl's bra strap just peeks through she's a slut, but when a guy's underwear is blaring out 'cuz his pants are so low, he's cool?

~Sam

UPDATE from malko~ depends on the kind of people you know, the places you and how you project yourself. Where we live, people pretty much judge you. As far as i know, people think I'm arrogant and mean. well i guess that's kinda true. sometimes. But i can also be awesome. XD

Right here Right now.

currently listening to REST IN PIECES-SALIVA
currently obsessed with BLACK AND YELLOW-WIZ KHALIFA, AFTER TONIGHT-JUSTIN NOZUKA
current mood- slightly happy

malko saying maytheforcebewithyou.
  

Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, and...yeah, that's about it.

06-11-13: Update from future me: Some of this really made me wince, particularly the reference to Taylor Swift and the fact that I seemed to have a) forgotten about Africa and b) thought Europe consisted mainly of England.


Continuing with the Ten Day You challenge, which, for those of you who joined late, I started here, and continued here, here and here, here are six places I want to visit, five foods I like to eat, and four books, three films and two songs I love.

Six Places:

• Switzerland! With its mountains, and its beauty and its chocolate and its peace. 
• All of Europe, actually, now that I think of it, since that's about the only continent I haven't visited yet. Amsterdam, with..I'm not exactly sure what, but it still appeals to me. London, with its Tower, and its pigeons and crows and the London Eye and the Big Ben and the rain and the dreariness and the poshness and..and the accents, and the hot guys and the, well, everything. The rest of England, too, I really want to see what all these people talk about when they say "English countryside". And Scotland, of course, and France and Germany and Russia. Have I missed out any place? 
• Australia. I want the beautiful sky, the Outback, the Harbour Bridge, the Gold Coast, the City Cats on the Brisbane River with the wind on your face, and water underneath. I want everything. 
• South America, another place I've never been, with all its color and life and love and culture. 
• The Arctic, or any other place where I can see the Aurora. 
• Space, because it sounds SO COOL. Ditto the moon. 

Five Foods: 

• Chocolate. 'nuff said. 
• Also, pasta, in any sauce except white. And pizza and lasagne, of course.
• Indian food is awesome, too, especially scent-wise. Naan and kadai paneer and butter chicken and..ahh, my mouth is watering too much for me to continue :/
• SUBWAY! And McD's and KFC and all that shizz. Yeah, i'm a slave of capitalism. 
• Steamed lemon fish. And prawns, and chilli crab with buns in Malaysia. 

Four Books:
I can't list just four books. I can't. There have been way, way too many of them in my life for me to narrow the list down to four, so forgive me if this goes on forever. Anyway, here they are:

• To Kill A Mockingbird, because it was the first classic I read that I liked; because it gave me Atticus Finch, whom I might even love more than Hugh Jackman; because it made me think; and because it gave me hope. 
• The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, because its the last book I read and because its well written. 
• Enid Blyton's St Clare's series, and Malory Towers, because those were the first books I ever remember reading. 
• Anything, really, as long as it isn't too convoluted like some of those stupid prize winning books, or too depressing. 

Three Films:

• Wolverine, because it has Hugh Jackman, and is awesome, and it has romance and comedy and love and action and everything a soul could possibly need. Also, X-Men First Class, because mutants are hot. 
• Three Musketeers, because that's the last movie I saw. Oh, and the Pirates of the Caribbean series. 
• Any cute rom-com. Also, Life Is Beautiful, and all of those type of movies (the deep, eye-opening ones). Basically, anything with a compelling story line. 

See I how totally got more than three movies in there?

Two Songs:

• Again, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to list just TWO songs, but I'll try. First-"She Will Be Loved", by Maroon 5. Listen to it. Don't watch the video, it'll ruin your experience. Just hear the lyrics and fall in love. Ditto anything by Taylor Swift, or any other mushy love song, really. Also, "Impossible" by Shonelle. 
• Um. Anything and everything by The Script. And most things by Simple Plan (Welcome To My Life, Perfect, and everything from their album "Get Your Heart On" come to mind most quickly). Songs which just match my mood perfectly. 

So now you know. Me. ^-^ Well, everything except my name, and my age, and my face, and where I live, and who I am. But yeah. Everything else. :)

~Sam

PS-For those of you who are tired of hearing about me, I'll get around to posting something more "universal" in appeal later. For those of you who are tired of hearing me say "later", go away, or get used to it. *attitude*

But, you know. Don't go away away. Later will come. Really. Soon. I'll do it. I promise! Don't go away! Come back! Please! PLEASE! *tears*

Real steel

I decided to post about this cuz I know  how much it would freak sam out. How awesome is the robot dance with the kid? Damn. Sexy movie. Awesome soundtrack too.

UPDATE: This is Sam. I hate you. All of you (who've seen the movie). And I will continue hating you until the earth stops revolving and the birds stop singing. Or at least until I watch the movie myself. So there.

So I got drunk yesterday, and I slept on the escalator. *sigh* the things people do when they get drunk I tell ya. -malko saying maytheforcebewithyou

Things I Possibly Have OCD About

This is not a very nice post, but I really don't care right now. I just want to get rid of it. Enjoy!

So here it is. I have compulsive needs to:

• Remove hair bands of the people standing in front of me.
• Not switch off my phone.
• Clean dirty spectacles, mine or anyone elses.
• Check fb notifications-ALL of them, even the ones completely unrelated to me where random people I've never heard of comment on an acquaintance's picture.
• Not allow my balance t to drop below a certain amount. And this is not like when its about to go into negatives and I lose it completely, its like when I still have a reasonable amount left, say 50 bucks, but a part of my soul still dies when it goes to 49. 
• Grammar grammar GRAMMAR. I am a grammar Nazi, despite showing evidence to the contrary in this post. 
• Editing things in my head. Even if you think its perfect, I will find errors, and I will correct them in my head, even if I don't point them out to you. 
• Listening to music every night, and making up stories about songs in my head. 
• Lying in bed for at least a little while and day-dreaming or something, before actually waking up. 
• Be hideously polite to all authority figures. Unless they majorly, MAJORLY piss me off. Then I'm all curt and indifferent. 
• Type whenever I have the opportunity.
• Use big words.
• Proof-read everything. Except this post.  
• Change the screen saver of the computer/laptop if I don't like it, even if it belongs to someone else. 
• Finish every book and series I begin. There've only been a couple in all my life that I've left incomplete, and you can imagine how bad they must've been for me to do that.
• Type how I think or talk. Even when I'm trying to save messages, I will text thoughts exactly how they come into my head, and not ct dwn or typ lyk ths. 
• Type complete words. (See above.) Try not to get pissed off when other people don't.
• Arranging things in a neat, linear manner, kind of like Monk. 

This list is just what I could think of now, and its really rough and horrible and I'll probably update it later when I have the time and inclination, but its been sitting in my drafts section for centuries now and I figured it was about time it saw the light of day. 

~Sam

Eight

Eight Fears.

1. That I'm not good enough. 
2. That I'll never be able to be completely happy. 
3. That I'll end up living a shitty life, and end up some bitchy Grinch. 
4. That the world will end. 
5. That the world won't end.
6. That I won't be able to fulfill my dreams, whatever they may be. 
7. That He (again, not talking about God) doesn't exist.
8. That He (talking about God this time) doesn't exist, and there's no point to this whole drama. Or that He does exist but still lets there be so much pain and suffering in this world. A girl who falls down. A woman murdered. An atom bomb dropped. Why would He let it happen?

Side note: This probably sounds depressing, and it is, but I'm not. These are just some random fears that I would usually never dwell on. Just for all my friends out there who'd probably freak out over this. ^-^ 

A hopefully happier post will come up as soon as I can think of a thing to write on.

~A Definitely Not Depressed, Sam

This Picture Is Awesome And Deserves A Whole Post To Itself

~Sam

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Pens that work. Unexpected hugs. A smile from a stranger. A satisfying article. A job well done. Orange juice. A hot choco-lava cake. Soft, warm cookies. Unexpected compliments. Any compliments! The scent of a bakery, the fragrance of impending rain and wet soil. Knowing things. Stumbling upon the perfect word to describe something, as opposed to having it on the tip of your tongue and not being able to remember it. When you vaguely wish for something, and it just happens. When the perfect song to match your mood starts playing. Good food. Chocolate food. Coconut biscuits. Pretty pictures and scenes. A fun holiday. A few hours with friends. Watching a child completely absorbed in doing some inconsequential thing. Pleasant surprises. A productive day. A day just spent lazing around. Catching up with old friends. A good, stimulating debate or conversation. Your favorite show coming on TV, just as your boredom peaks. A funny ad. Celebration. Pretty lights on houses. Presents! Palm trees and beaches, not necessarily in the same place. Discovering a new song, artiste, sitcom or book. Writing, reading, talking and listening. A happy story. Shopping, and stumbling across a pretty bag, or a hair clip, or the perfect outfit. When the sun is setting behind the blue curtains of my blue room and imparts that warm, dim glow. Being awake when no one else is. Peace. Neat work; a tidy, organized room. Rediscovering a favorite toy from your childhood that you'd forgotten all about. Making lists. A beautiful morning, welcome with a hot cup. Smiles and laughs and wit and humor and a pinch of sarcasm. Being surrounded by the people I love, when I love them. A banana split sundae. Toast with butter and jam. A slice of bread slathered with nutella. Biscuits soaked in tea. A hot, steaming cup of thick hot chocolate. Caramelized apples. Any apples! The smell of coffee and rain and flowers and sunshine. Pretty boquets with liles and orchids and little white and yellow rosebuds with dewdrops on them. An overflowing fruit basket, filled to the brim with mangoes and apples and bananas and oranges and strawberries and cherries and blueberries whatnot. Strawberries and cream and chocolate! Blueberry muffins. Being dressed up all prettily, with my hair done and my heels on and my dress just right. Losing a pound (or two). Setting a new high score. Opening my eyes in the morning with a smile on my face. Closing my eyes at night with a smile. A nice, long, hot bath, complete with scented candles and bubbles. Shutting my eyes and imagining and hoping and wishing and dreaming and fantasizing. Finding that thing, or a friend texting, just when you need it most. Sitting in a corner, or on a window-seat, and reading that perfect book while it pours outside. Slowly removing the outer layer of MnM's. Long, shapely nails. Making people laugh. Laughing. Melting chocolate in my mouth while the rest of it melts in my hand. Getting wet in the rain, provided my phone is safely dry. The euphoria after a satisfying run. The sun's rays shining on me on a mountain top. Snuggling in my warm bed on a winter morning. Cuddling with my mother. A baby's laugh. A child's innocent laugh. A baby's gurgle. The smell of petrol. Lying flat on my back after a long day. Massages! The color of newly mowed lemon grass, the color of the Australian sky over the Outback. Purple and magenta and crimson and black. Serendipity and Enchantment. Henna on my hands. A trouble-free day. My mom feeding me when I'm sick. Ganging up on my parents with my brother. Finally finishing that huge mound of work. Reminiscing old memories; rediscovering long-forgotten pictures. Raindrops on windows, and drawing on a dusty windscreen. Playing with connector pens. Designing something really pretty. The taste and smell of cinnamon. British accents!

And bluebells.

Walking in that.

~Sam

I had this really nice idea for a post, and i forgot. SEE? That's what happens when you don't write things down.

Ten

So I told you I wouldn't do Ten Secrets, and I won't, but here are Ten Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me Which May Or May Not Be Secrets.

1. I have never smoked, done drugs, or seen The Sound of Music, despite having owned the DVD since the fourth grade.  
2. I can be pretty philosophical when I want to, probably because I over-think everything, and over-thinking is practically the root of all philosophy. The worst thing about this though is that things which I say, which often console others, would never ever console me, because I'd just think about it until it became meaningless and lost all consoling-power. Which sucks.
3. I'm partly hedonistic. I know what hedonistic means because of Two and A Half Men.
4. I'm vaguely superstitious, but if you asked me if I believed in superstition I wouldn't know what to say, despite the fact that I still touch wood every chance I get. Essentially, I'm an extremely confused person.
5. I claim to love myself (and I do), but like every normal girl in this world (except the current Miss Universe, whom I really admire for her answer, despite the fact that I find it hard to believe that she actually meant what she said.)I have a complete list of things I'd like to change about myself, starting with my arms and going down to my hair. 
6. I once used to be an almost twi-hard *cringe*, and it took Dan Bergstein to get me out of my delusion. I also refused to read Harry Potter until the sixth grade, because the only part of it I'd ever read (Chapter One, Page One of Chamber of Secrets), seemed horrible. Eventually, I only read it because I'd read every other decent book in the library. I told you I sucked. 
7. I love music, and listen to it for at least half an hour every night, wandering around in the dark in my room, and making up stories behind each of the songs, but I still don't know my genres. 
8. I have a compulsive need to write down every single semi-smart thought that comes into my head; you'll be seeing proof this a lot, if you follow me. If I come up with a nice sentence while writing something, and even if it doesn't fit, I'll find a way to stick it in somewhere. 
9. To be able to read minds is my most desired super power. I'm an idiotically romantic girl. I really don't know what I want, whether it be for dinner or for a career. 
10.  I'm pretty forgetful and thus forced to write down anything important that I need to remember. On the other hand, I tend to remember a lot of insignificant details that other people have long forgotten. I'm pretty verbose, sometimes unnecessarily, as you can see from this blog post. I didn't really listen when they were discussing the "economy of words" in English. 

~Sam 

Nine

Hola there, pretty people! Its been so long since I've talked to you! Or maybe not very long at all--time seems to be moving so inconsistently these days. Anyhow, you might have noticed some changes on the blog recently, those are  because I was jobless and trying to make it Pretty and Appealing, but I didn't want one of those convoluted designs that look pretty and then end up giving you a headache, so I just chose this one, which has an added advantage of letting you pick which way you want to see the posts (i.e., in a classic, flipcard, magazine, mosaic, sidebar, snapshot or timeline format). Whoo, long sentence!

Anyways. I use "anyways" a lot, don't I? Oh well.

Getting to the point..today's Ten Day You Challenge Topic Thingamabobby is..

Nine Loves.

1. Friends, family, blah blah blah. You can fill this one in on your own, I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about. Your friends and your family, the ones who keep you going, the foundation of your skyscraper.You might occasionally want to murder them, but you will always love them.
   Getting down to the actual stuff now...
2. Books! I love a good book almost more than anything in this world; interrupting me when I'm engrossed in one is one of the many things that'll make me snap at you. Sitting on the floor in a nice cozy corner alone in my room, or maybe on a window seat while its raining outside, with a good book and a cup of steaming, thick hot chocolate is pretty much my idea of paradise. Simple girl, I is. 
3. Those perfect moments. The ones where everything is just right, where everything is Absolutely Perfect. You're not PMS-ing, no one else is hormonal or pissed off, the world seems to be covered in a soft sunlit glow and you're surrounded by the people you love, perfectly happy and content. It doesn't matter what you're doing or where you are, its just that inner peace that you're all feeling, all at the same time, so that life seems like a miracle and the world a heaven. 
4. Chocolate. Be it in the form of actual chocolate or in the form of ice cream, cake, brownies, or anything else for that matter, I adore it. Forget adore, I bloody well worship it! Chocolate has to be a sin--nothing can exist on this earth be that faultless. 
5. People. Those wonderful, wonderful people who make you think that maybe humanity doesn't suck after all. The ones's who will stop for that woman crying on the street. The ones who sacrifice, even if its only a little sacrifice, for others. The ones who're usually not known to us, and live their life in oblivion, but the ones who deserve more love than all the Jack Sparrows and Hugh Jackmans of the world combined.
   People. Those amazing people whom you can vent to and rant at and who will just take it all, and not hate you, and will listen. And, more importantly, keep it to themselves. 'Tis hard to find people like that in this world, yes sir it is. 
6. My phone. I'm sorry, you were probably expecting something more profound to follow that last point, but that thing is the reason I'm still sane. I would probably have killed myself a long time ago if I'd had to survive all those long nights of studying without its consoling and sympathetic presence. Also, Brickbreaker is probably the best distraction in the world. Seriously. 
7. Getting my own way (without being made to feel guilty about it-it doesn't matter if you beat up your little brother to get the remote control and watch Big Bang Theory or whatever, but feel guilty the entire time you're watching it). And no, don't look at me like that, I know you like this too. You can't be human and not like it. 
8. MUSIC! That wonderful, beautiful, haunting, heartbreaking, smile-making music which just conveys everything that you're feeling so eloquently, so beautifully, that you feel that it must have been written by you yourself in some other life, for how could any one know what you're feeling so precisely, so accurately. Music that opens up your mind to new vistas, new stories, new lives and new loves without making you move a step. Music that takes you farther than any airplane or spaceship ever could. Music that makes your life, a life. 
9. Myself, occasionally. And no, that does not make me a narcissist, even though narcissism literally means being in love with yourself. I do love myself, because I can't have lived with myself for so many years without doing that. Imagine spending your life with someone you don't love-its horrifying! And since I have to spend my entire life with myself, and since I'm not really into masochism, the least I could do is turn myself into a person that I love at least occasionally. 

~Sincerely Hoping That That Made Sense, Sam.

I suck.

I'm sorry, but its true. And the fact that its taken me this long to figure it out is just another tribute to my suckiness. If there was a kingdom for dorks, I'd probably be their Queen. Seriously. The one time I bunked a class, I was so freaked out that I'd get caught that I almost wet my pants. And I never bunked again. And this despite the fact that the "class" I bunked wasn't even a class as such, it was just some lame compulsory physical education thing, which I bunked accidentally (yes, THAT is how lame I am. The only time I bunk a class, its accidental). And you know how I made use of my precious illicit time? By doing homework. In the classroom. I didn't even have the sense to hide! And I was such a nerd that even when a teacher passed by, she didn't comment, because obviously Sam couldn't be bunking! How unthinkable!

Another reason I suck is because, as I learned today, I can't even ignore people properly. In fact, I suck so much that I can't even ignore the long enough for them to realize that they're being ignored! AND I CAN'T EVEN COMPLETE A MEASLY TEN DAY YOU CHALLENGE PUNCTUALLY! Or in order.

So now you know. I suck.


You'll still follow me though, right? *looks pitiably at you*


~Sam

UPDATE: This post is not meant to be taken seriously. Its just something I remembered, and I wanted to share it because that's the whole point of this blog. Sharing random stuff which pops into my head. So please don't get worried and think that I'm suicidal or anything, because I'm not. I mean, I might suck, but I'm still awesome! ^-^

Seven

Hi! This is something I found on someone else's blog, and I found it interesting, so I'm going to do it. "This" is:

The Ten Day You challenge!

Okay, here's the thing. All of this sounds really interesting to me, but I love my anonymity (and the fact that you can't stereotype me or expect anything from me if you don't know me) here more than anything else, so I'm not going to be revealing any deep, dark secrets about me here, nor am I going to be putting up a picture of myself. Honestly, though, I'm not that interesting a person, so you're not missing out on anything by me not putting up my secrets. Also, since you'll get to know most of my "secrets" in some post or another, it seems kind of redundant to post them here, too.

Anyways. I will definitely do all the rest, but I'm just going to answer these as they take my fancy instead of in order,  because that's what awesome people do. Also, I can't really think of Nine Loves today, while I have my Wants all nice and ready. So yeah the one I'll be writing on today is Seven Wants, and Seven Wants for me are..

1. To become perfectly happy, content, rich and famous, in that order, within the next ten to fifteen years. Also, to find Perfect Guy within the same time period, since I obviously can't be either fully happy or fully content without him, and force him down the proverbial altar. (Side note: Am I the only person who finds it interesting that you sacrifice animals-or used to, anyways-and get married, both at the altar?)
2. To figure out what I really want to do with my life, and become amazing at it. Oh, and get rich doing it. 
3. To meet Mark Zuckerberg. Meeting Sergey Brin would be nice, too. You might be surprised that Hugh Jackman isn't on this list, but that's because I prefer the Hugh of my imagination (who is Perfect In Every Way). I don't want the real life Hugh breaking my bubble, since, as I've earlier mentioned, its impossible for any human to live up to the standards I've set for them in my head. 
4. To fall in love. Deep, true love. I know I said I wasn't desperate, and I'm not, but it seems like an amazing feeling from all the songs and the books that I've heard and I've read, and I really truly want to experience it before I turn old and withered and die. 
5. To figure out a way to stay thin without having to do anything. Oh, and to figure out the Meaning of Life. 
6. To learn to be content with what I have, and who I am. 
7. World Peace. *insert pause for snorts of laughter from audience* Seriously, though. I'd love for that to happen in my lifetime, or to even have a role in it, who knows. And by world peace I don't mean only the absence of wars, I mean peace. Complete, calm, peace. In every home, in every heart, in ever human. Without any troubles or wars or even arguments, without petty fights and hatred and annoyances. Total Joy. Bliss. Happiness. Fulfillment. Peace. 

These are not all my wants, not by a long shot-I also want to be able to read minds, have the power of telekinesis, have 48 hours in a day, not have to waste half my life sleeping, not have to do anything I don't want to, and a million other things-but these're the ones that first came to mind.

~A Very Philosophical, Sam 

10 years later

When people ask me about my future, i would probably tell them how i plan to do law. Or if that doesn't work out, I'd get into business. But I secretly dream of getting away to someplace where no one will find me. Get a nice pretty cabin maybe? yeah. i think i could live like that. Sometimes it"s nice just to be left alone. I'll probably eventually get bored, but until then, i know it'll be beautiful. 

The cabin would probably look something like this.

Yeah so what would I do there? Well, i see myself working on my writing; perhaps a few books. Its a great place for inspiration don't you think? Its also romantic, so I'd probably get my lover here. If ever oh, oh ever there is one. 

Whoever said dreaming was a crime?

Then again, all this is just for theory. I have no clue whether it will actually work out. Then , again, one can never be too hopeful, right? *doubts herself* *sigh* oh well. Its a nice dream. 

A happier post from malko.

Yes yes, I know my last few posts have been, depressing and blah, but lucky for you guys, Im 30% happy right now.
I've decided to go ahead and use one of sams "writers block" topics from a previous post. But before I do that, I would like to send a message to a certain friend who texted me about our mutual love for LOTR. I couldn't text back because apparently I barred my outgoing. I don't know how to unbar it, so if anyone knows, feel free to enlighten me. Getting back to LOTR, isn't it awesome? Doesn't it give you that epic feeling? Its a total win I tell ya. Aragorns THE man. Best character I tell ya. I reallyyyy want to read the books(yes I haven't read them *breaks down*), but I can't find the time or patience. You need to be in the complete mood to read stuff like that.
Okay so now I will tell you guys about my days as an obsessed fan.
Ahem. *clears throat*

  A long long time ago, there lived an obsessed fan. Let's call her "obsessed fan", shall we? So a long long time ago there lived an obsessed fan known by the name obsessed fan. One day obsessed fan sat in front of her beloved computer to download some new music. Randomly she came across a band called Tokio Hotel. The moment she heard them she knew that there was something about them. They made magic, not music. Such was her belief. She would listen to them alll day. She would talk about them alll day. People got soooo sick of it.  She would also go on about how hot the lead guitarist was. Most people thought he looked like a chick. She then told them, "Hey! Germans happen to be very pretty people. And they have flawless skin!" Honestly speaking, his face looked so smooth that either he didn't have facial hair,or he waxes it off his face which would be plain weird. Anyhow, he was a twin. His twin brother was the lead singer of the band and he definitely looked like a chick. Most people thought he was gay, but she went on to protest that. So when their birthday arrived, she tried calling them too. She was heart broken they didn't respond. (ofcourse they wouldn't. They had a million fans. This girl was ridiculously out of her frikkin mind!)  She also kept visiting websites and requesting them to come to india. :/

But like everything, the obsession came to an end. And now, she doesn't even listen to them.

So why did I tellll you alll that bull crap? To show you just how obsessed a person can be. Well almost. The next level would be to become a groupie. :/

And there you go. A leaflet from the journal of an ex obsessed fan.

This is malko saying maytheforcebewithyou

Crazy about guys? Who, me? No way!

Seriously. I'm not. Despite the fact that most of my posts are either completely about the phenomena we know as Men, or have at least some reference or other to them, I'm actually not as desperate as I sound. In fact, if Perfect Guy asked me out right this moment, I'd probably say no-I have way too much going on in my life for a relationship right now, and I've recently learned-vicariously, thankfully-that relationships aren't always all fun and games. And since I don't have the time to invest completely in a relationship right now, I wouldn't be able to ask Perfect Guy to, because that would just make me feel really, really ...mean, for lack of a better word. (The no-swearing-policy is because I'm still trying to keep this thing PG-13. God alone knows why, though, since most 13 year-olds I've met recently seem more  informed than I am).  So this post is basically just to let you know that if you're getting tired of my obsession with guys, I honestly, truly do have some other things I'd like to write about. They're just not as much fun as talking about guys.

Stay tuned though, I'll come up with something soon :) Maybe one of the topics from here?

~Sam 

I'm a girl! :O

Okay, so biologically speaking I've always been a girl, but I've never been a girl as such. Until now. Or rather, until a couple of years ago, I guess, but the realization struck me today. I'm a girl. My voice has become shriller and shriller. I talk about boys all the time. I've started caring about nail polish and make-up (which are two separate things according to me). Hell, I was discussing future kids' names yesterday!


Oh. My. God. I'm a girl.

~A Very Freaked Out, Sam. 

Why I think the world should end.

You know those people you see in movies or tv shows who are completely hopeless? The people that are so fucked up that they can't think straight? The people that pray for the world to end? I think they're overly dramatic and have a lot of shit to deal with. Unfortunately enough, I'm one of them. My grades are bad. My mind isn't stable. I feel like a pathetic waste of space because I waste all my time. I don't know how to do things right anymore. I lie. I laze around. I get angry. I yell at people. I guess the only thing left for me to do is do drugs and get a tattoo (i already have a few piercings.(and by few I mean 2 on each ear. :/ )). My parents think I'm hopeless. I don't think I blame them. My grades have been consistently low. I want to do better, but I don't. I can't.But still when your own parents say youre useless, it kinda hurts. I may not be a mushy feely person, but I do have a heart and its capable of hurting.
   I used to think that if I wanted to, I could always do better and that I chose not to work my ass off because I was just being a sloth. But I'm scared to find out the truth. What if my best isn't good enough? Four or five years ago, I KNEW for a fact that if I tried my best, I would be where I wanted to be. Now, not so sure.
   Sometimes I wonder, if I continued to be that boring person that I used to be in 7th or 8th grade,would I be doing better? Did things like music and popularity get to my head? Can I ever be that smart person that I used to be?
All of this may seem like a whole bunch of cliche bull crap. Trust me, it is. But stuff like this does happen. It may not seem like a big deal to others, but to people who're facing it, it ain't no joyride.
   So, I strongly want the world to end. But I don't want to die without doing the things I've always wanted to do..but thats for another time. I'm done venting now. For those of you who actually read this and made it to the end, congratulations. No, seriously, you deserve it.

So long people...this is MAlko saying maytheforcebewithyou.

I want Him.

-[2014 me is laughing so hard at this right now. So dramatic, wow.] [2015 edit: No, really, what was I on?]-

I NEED Him. And no, I'm not talking about God, though a few more blessings here and there from Him wouldn't go unwanted either. Is that grammatically correct? Probably not. Do I care? No. I don't even care about the fact that I don't care, that's how far gone I am right now.

I need him. My perfect guy. My hot boyfriend, though I want him to be a lot more than just a hot boyfriend that I can brag about. My soul mate, maybe? My love. The one who makes all my troubles go away, if only for a little while. The one who'll be my treasure, my "precious", my anchor, my harbor, my world. The one who'll make me laugh when I know I'm about to cry, a la Taylor Swift in "You Belong With Me", the one who'll lend me his shoulder and his handkerchief without asking for anything when I do cry, the one who'll love me despite the sniffles and the snot and despite all my faults and neediness. The ark that I can come into after a long hard annoying plain pissing off day (which today has been, in case you hadn't noticed). The one who'll hold me and love me and nurture me and complete me make me so much more than me. The one who belongs with me. The one I can spend the rest of my life with, and no, I do not give a damn if humans are sociologically not created to be monogamous. The one I can rant at and bitch in front of, without him thinking any less of me, because no matter how much you try to unbitch yourself there are certain people who're just begging for someone to bitch about them, who insist on coming in your way no matter how much you try to avoid them, who insist on making you break your promise to, well, to unbitch yourself, who force themselves under your skin and make you want to just tear out your hair (or, alternatively, to punch them) and get them out of your system.

The one who'll be there, all day, every day, perfect and sane, the beach to my ocean, the bank to my river. With dimples ^-^ And I know he probably doesn't exist, and I'm setting the standard too high, and I should just  get used to the fact that no one, NO ONE, can be that perfect, but right now, I just need hope. And even if he only exists in my imagination for my entire life, I will still hope that he's out there, somewhere (only I hope I find him before I marry Mr Second Choice, cuz I really don't wanna cheat on and/or divorce anyone).

~A Slightly-Less-Exasperated Sam

Also, I don't know if anyone is reading this besides moronsorginally (who, by the way, I will always love and remember as being my first real comment-or), but thanks a lot. Also, Malko, for the idea to start a blog, because it's nice to have someone to rant at, even if it's only a blank page. Thank you, love you, and God bless you. And now I sound old. *sigh* 

Malko's List of Whats Hot and Whats Snot about dudes.Part 1.

I think I'm making this list so I can understand what I think is hot. I never really thought about it. But....I'm making this list...so let's see....
Hair
Whats Hot>it has to be short. Like not crew cut short-although that seems hot too- but short enough that the hair stands up.
Watch out. I think my "Whats Snot" is larger. :/
Whats Snot> I don't care how long he spends in front of a mirror, preferably not much time.toooo much time is kind of a nono. Greasy. Bleh. A little gel is okay...but too much is gross. I dont want a blob of goo when I touch his hair. Most importantly. If long hair does not go with the face, he must lose it. :/

Hands 
What's hot> big hands. YeH. That's a Definate turn on. And nerves popping out is super sexy. Accompany that with a hot metal strap watchband I'd hit that. ;)
What's snot> sickly thin voldemort like hands with dirty nails. Glack. Hygiene dude!


 Physique
What's hot> a decent body that's well maintained and fit. I don't need six packs or anything, but he must keep fit and work out.
What's snot> Gangly thin guys. When people look at us, I dont want them to think that I'd break him in bed. Gah! Yeah. Definitely not.

 Style 
What's hot>Casualality. I'm not into the guys who like to accessorize themselves too much. They should natually be able to carry anything off. My ideal guy would wear really loose shirts with faded jeans and probably a nice pair of basketball pumps. Then when he wears formals occasionally, I can drool al over him.
What's snot> Tight jeans and tight shirts. No matter how muscly he is, he must NOT wear tight, body hugging shirts. Oh and when he wears formal shirts(which is super hot) he must not leave too many buttons open. It looks gay.


Talents>Me, being a musician, i dont want to end up with one, otherwise, instead of appreciating me, he'll probably just notice my errors and try to point them out. I hate it when people do that. i guess I'm kind of a hypocrite in that manner. I tend to correct people. Bad habit of mine. Trying to lose it. honestly. Moving on, he shouldd preferably be a basketball player. A musician and basketball player go nicely don't you think? Maybe I just believe in NALEY way too much( One tree hill reference). Also, if he's a basketball player and  a closet writer or a pianist, he just topped my list.


 There's more... So stay tuned. NOTE: yes I've been invisible for a while.. Was kinda busy..and the obsession phases are also unfinished. I do realize. My apologies non existent followers( wait does this mean I'm talking to myself? Great now I'm schizophrenic. *adds to list of disorders*)...thhhhhats about it. For now.

 This is malko saying maytheforcebewithyou.

This is embarrassing.

But I need to admit the truth.

Okay. Here goes.

...
...
...
*deep breath*


...
...
I find Simon Cowell hot. I'm sorry, but there you go. I know most people think he's an arrogant jerk, and he probably is one, too, but watching 4 continuous hours of X factor re-runs has brought me to this conclusion. Simon is hot. In fact, he reminds me of George Clooney.

You can call me crazy now.

In my defence, he's British. And confident. And successful (what exactly is he successful AT though? What does he do, besides judging TV shows?). And kind of handsome. And British. Did I mention he's British? Like, with accent and all? How do you resist that?

So there you go. Now you know.

~Sam

And yes, that is how desperate I was to post today. 

And the thoughts go pop pop pop in my head...

..And the wheels go round round round on the bus...

Like so.

You'd think from the title that I was quoting some random famous song. You'd be wrong.

This post basically consists of random thoughts that popped into my head at various times (hence the title), so if the tit-bits seems disconnected and sense-less, that's because my thoughts aren't usually very coherent or linear.

Anyways. Here you go. A little peek into what I think about at night, when I can't go to sleep.

1. Gravity is going to have her revenge someday. For all the airplanes and the free fall rides and the roller coasters and the skyscrapers. She's just lulling us into a false sense of security right now, messing with us, making us complacent. And then, boom, its gone.

Unnatural, thats what it is.

2. Life is crazy. But then again, whose isn't? And if anyone does believe that their's isn't, they're crazy. And even when life is in control, its only for a short time, never for long enough to count. Very volatile thing, life is.

That is not even close to how complicated life is. Its still a pretty good representation though. Lots of shit on the inside, but a nice smiley front on the outside.

3. The best thing about the teenage years? Sarcasm comes so naturally to you.

Give me House and TasteofAwesome, and I will give you heaven. Oh no, wait. I'll give you a funeral. Cuz I'll be the one who'll be in heaven, you see.

4. "Work expands to fill the time available for its completion." Truest thing ever quoted.

This guy said that, would you believe it?
Looks. They can be deceving. Bet he had a teenaged kid, though.

5. Little things, and little people, are cute, whether they be human babies, tiger cubs, or baby sparrows.

Cute

Little things of usually big things are even cuter, viz. baby elephants and giraffes. If I knew what a baby blue whale looked like, I'd probably find it cute, too.

Cuter

Things smaller than a certain limit, however, are not cute-like baby cockroaches and microbes and other creepy-crawlies *shudders*.

I don't even know why Google has pictures of this. 

So the point of this is..of course size matters!

Anyways. Cockroaches are ew, so I'll just end this on a happy note with a picture of Jack:

There should be a captain in there somewhere.

~An Almost Crazy Sam

PMS+Depressing Book=Dumb Questions About Humanity

I read a book today. It's called "I Don't Know How She Does It", it's by a person called Allison Pearson, and it talks about some of the issues I wrote about here. Frankly, it depressed me. It's about a woman trying to deal with two children and a tiring job-trying to make it in a man's world, without fully leaving the woman's. In the end, she picks the woman's world.

Gender equality is not the point here, however. My views on that have already been made clear. What got me depressed about this book was how it portrayed-accurately-the total isolation that men and women live in, in this world. The coldness that we show towards people not directly related to us. The way we conveniently ignore the fact that every person we pass in the street has a life, has a story. That he has troubles and difficulties and sorrows and joys and love. That every person that we look through, has substance. That every person we ignore or mistreat, is also a person, a human being.  Not many people would stop to help a woman crying in the middle of the street; most would either pity or scorn her. Not many would sacrifice their time and energy to help someone to whom they have no emotional attachment, and thus, no vested interest in. We are so ensconced in ourselves, we have no time for anyone else. We live in a society, but in the end, it's each man for himself. Each woman, for herself. United we stand, but we prefer to remain divided, too busy with our little tremors to notice someone else's earthquakes.

~Sam

Sam's List Of What's Hot And What's Snot In A Guy

[Update: This post makes 2014-me cringe, but I think I'll let it stay for reasons of posterity. Things I really had issues with have been cut out.]

Yes, you read that right. It's "Snot". It was originally a typo, but then we converted it into the real title, 'cuz typos can be awesome, just like us.

Anyway. This was supposed to be a fun post, but I've come to the cruel realization in recent days that I'm not really one of those funny writers who can make people laugh about the dumbest stuff (a la Allie Brosh), but this is something I've always wanted to do, and now whenever I find a decent guy I can conveniently tell him to go check out this link so he knows what is expected of him, so here it is anyway.

That was a long and probably grammatically incorrect sentence. I'm scared that I don't care.


Okay, I'll stop talking now. Bye!

One last thing-in case you haven't realized yet, this is a list of what I do and don't want in a guy. Though you probably know this. But just in case you don't. That's what it is. I'll let you get on with it now.

 Warning: It gets kind of mushy by the end.

*leaves. finally.*


Hair:
What's Hot: Dark or light, I don't really mind. I love Hugh Jackman, I love Owen Wilson, though I'm yet to meet a red head I like. What I do care about in a guy's hair is that it should be natural. Guys with those weird gay-looking fringes whose pics they have outside beauty salons are a total no-no. Pete Wentz's emo style is hot, but I'd prefer a more Hugh Jackman look in my guy. Natural is good. Style it well, i.e., get it cut in a decent way, but please don't spend longer on your hair on a daily basis than I do.
Note: I rarely spend longer than two minutes (true story).
Also, it should be soft and silky, and kind of long so I can run my hands through it, though I looooove military cuts, too.
What's Snot: Rough grungy hair. Fringes.

Hands: 
What's Hot: A close friend of mine, the Marshmallow, is obsessed with a guy's hands. She says they should be large, strong, with the veins kinda popping out-in a word, manly. I agree. Soft, calloused, whatever. Just let my hand feel small and soft and feminine in his. And let his be able to support me, make me feel like the safest woman in the world when he holds me with them. (Aww).
What's Snot: Hands that're smaller than mine. Soft girly hands. Sweaty hands.

Physique: 
What's Hot: Well, he should be sexy ;) I don't usually like the bulky type; I prefer a sleeker look (despite the fact that I'm obsessed with Wolverine). A six pack and all that jazz is fine with me, I just don't want him to look like The Hulk. The physique in general doesn't really matter that much to me though, I think.
What's Snot: Obesity. A guy who's skinnier than me (cuz that'd just make me feel fat). The unhealthy extremes of either thin or fat.


Smile: 
What's Hot: Dimples. Are. Compulsory. If you don't have them, go away.

Coming back to reality, if your smile is nice enough to impress me without dimples, you'll do. But if I had to choose between two men, I'd pick the one with dimples. Jus' sayin'. I think I'm so obsessed with them because I don't have them, and I want my future kid(s) to have at least some chance of getting them (Yeah, I'm definitely one of those future planner people).

Besides the dimples, I want nice, straight, even white teeth. No smokers allowed, thank you very much.

What's Snot: Smokers' teeth. Yellow, holey, ugly teeth. One of those creepy cold smiles.

Style:
What's Hot: I don't want a guy who looks like he lost his way from a Paris runway. I need someone real, and a guy in skinny jeans and a barely-there shirt ain't gonna do it for me. Put on jeans, a decent t-shirt, don't ever, ever  tuck it in, and you're perfect.
PS-I love guys in jeans. Malko doesn't get this: Her response, when I told her this, was, "Don't they all wear jeans?"
What's Snot: Looking gay when you aren't. Ill-fitting clothing. This includes too tight as well as too loose.

Sexuality: 
What's Hot: Straight, of course. I don't want to sound like a homophobe, but a bi guy won't do for me either. I'd just feel creepy if there was a possibility that he might have a crush on my ex boyfriend or whatever.  Bi guys are fine too. Coming to metro-sexuality..meh, not really. I want a guy to take care of himself, but I think waxing and getting your eyebrows done is taking things a bit too far. Also, as I said, I don't primp too much, and it'd be weird if my boyfriend spent longer getting dressed than I did. I'm not too fashion conscious either, so I don't really want a cross-dressing kinda guy. I want my guy to be a guy. Not a cave man, but not covered in cologne and Armani either. But overall, as long as you look decent, and don't primp too much, its fine.
What's Snot: Being gay and dating a chick.

Level of Romanticism: 
What's Hot: You probably know by now (since I'm making a list of the traits I require in Perfect Guy, you should definitely know by now) that I'm an extremely romantic gal. I've spent a long time dreaming about Perfect Guy (henceforth referred to as PG), and the least I expect from him is that he return all those years of dreaming with extensive thoughtfulness. Book a yacht for our anniversary, or just cook me my favorite dinner and plan for a romantic night, I don't really care about the magnitude of the act, just that you put some thought into it. Sorry, but a gift voucher for my birthday after we've been together for a couple of years just won't cut it, though I might give you a little leeway in the beginning.
What's Snot: Buying a gift voucher for our fiftieth anniversary. Worse, forgetting our fiftieth anniversary.

Talents: 
What's Hot: You should know how to cook. Everything. Because I can't, and I really don't want to learn either. I'd rather sit on the counter and sigh over you than cry over onions, thank you very much. That's pretty much the only thing I really require, but being able to sing or play a sexy instrument like a guitar or piano would be..another layer of chocolate on the cake, I suppose (I don't really like icing much). You should also be able to open any cans, and be strong enough to pick me up and make me feel small and dainty. Also, after intensively watching weeks of MasterChef Australia, I've reached the conclusion that I find chefs (especially young, blonde, curly-haired, blue-eyed ones) really, really hot.
What's Snot: Being a lazy, unemployed, aimless couch potato. I need a successful guy who can look after himself, at least, if not me.

Miscellaneous: 
What's Hot: I would love for you to have long eyelashes, but be prepared for some intense jealousy from me if you do have them. The eyes are important-they should reflect your honesty, and be awesome enough for me to be able to stare at them forever. They should also linger on me often. In a nice way, though. Not in a creepy, leery, stalker way.
You also need to be kind, helpful, generous, aware, eco-friendly, confident, and must worship me. You know, the usual.
What's Snot: Being dumb. Not existing.

Mushy Stuff: 
There's nothing else really left for me to say, so I'll just sum up and be mushy here. I want you to be manly, yet gentle; kind and generous, forgiving and thoughtful. I want to be able to lean on you, but I also want you to give me space when required. I want you to be committed. I want you to be there whenever I need you. I want you to know what I want, even when I don't. I want you to worship me, yet be willing to stand up to me when I'm wrong (and trust me, I will occasionally be wrong, as much as I'd like to deny it), and to have your own opinions. I want you to be understanding. I want you to be compassionate. I want you to be human. I want you to be my kind of perfect. I want you to be mine.

I want you to exist.


~Sam.

An Ode To My Marshmallow

Note: Marshmallow is a person. A female person. A female person whose birthday it is today. If you're looking for a post about white fluffy amazing manna-food marshmallows, today is not your day. 

Hi Marshmallow! ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY! *news flash*  *starts singing the 'Hey Shorty' song*

You turn..well you know how old, today, and I just wanted to say I LOVE YOU! You bring out the optimist in me, by being so pessimistic. You make me think, by asking so many questions. I think I'm way further on the road to finding the Meaning/Point of Life (PS-I've narrowed it down to either "hot guys" or "chocolates") because of you. I'm way more uninhibited because of you-I don't think there's a single topic in this world that we haven't or won't talk about! You're white and fluffy and soft (and probably yummy) just like a marshmallow and you're cuter than any baby. I love how you can whine forever, then be all practical; how you can say with total confidence that All Guys Are Jerks and go back to yearning for them the next week without batting an eyelid. How you're smart, and funny, and SO BLOODY CUTE! How you still manage to look like a fifth grader, despite being a certified adult. How you are now Important enough to have Rumors about you. How you are so...you. 

This is nothing like an ode, and Keats is probably turning over in his grave hearing me call this one, but..its a dedication, to you, my marshmallow, and thats enough for me to call it one. Besides, I've always wanted to be able to say that I've written an ode, despite the fact that I can't write poetry for shit (why would I write poetry for shit though? WHY?). Anyway. I don't really want to end this on the topic of shit, so I'll just add in a picture of you:

Pretty decent representation, no?

~Sam

Staring at the ceiling.

I began to think that I like writing more than I realized. Writing helps me express myself on paper. I love writing. I think i should be an author(oblivious fact). Why do I end up writing stories-Because I like creating an entire new dimension and imagining myself in it. Writing helps me create a world that I would like to be in and sometimes helps me believe that, those worlds are my reality. When I write, I usually describe the character as myself…and I add in the traits that I would like to have-like fighting. I would describe my character/me as strong(but sometimes really vulnerable), bad ass, proud, one who tends to make quite an impression on others, kind and easy conversationalist. I desperately wish that, I wake up from this horrendous nightmare that we claim to be life and live out ACTUAL lives. I’m sure by this time you learned a couple of things. Firstly, I am extremely unsatisfied with certain parts of my life. Secondly, I’m highly delusional. Thirdly, I have chemical imbalances. If guessed any one of them, give yourself a pat on the back. If you didn’t, well now you know. Honestly when you talk to me for the first time, you would know nothing. But if you really know me,(yes I’m talking to my dear friends out there), you would know that I have these really weird mood swings. But when I’m not PMSing or whatever, I’m actually pretty awesome. I won’t deny it, I have A LOT of friends. I like talking to people. But only certain people put up with my crap. I really owe it to them. Sorry for being such a bitch you guys. I’m writing down all of this because Sam says blogging will make me feel better. If theres anyone out there whos reading this, and feels the same way, do what i did. Write. It makes you feel better. So that’s all for now.

For Your Edification-Part 1

I don't know why, but last night I couldn't sleep, so I started thinking of things that move in a cyclical fashion.


You may now call me crazy if you wish to.

Anyway. This is some of the stuff I came up with. Feel free to add more things if you think of them! Also feel free to come up with a reason why this might be useful. They do say knowledge is power though..

Sam's List Of Things That Move In A Cyclical Fashion: Life.

• Clocks. 
• Fans. 
• Exhaust Fans. 
• Migratory Birds. 
• Days. 
• Wheels. 
• Fashion. 
• The Female Menstrual Cycle.
•  The Food Chain.
• Aristotle's Cycle of Change (for the uninitiated, this states that Monarchy will eventually lead to Tyranny, which will lead to Aristocracy, which will lead to Oligarchy, which will lead to Polity (what we now call 'democracy'), which will lead to Democracy (aka mob rule) which will lead to Monarch again, and so on. If you want meanings or more details, I'm sure Google will be happy to help. Or you could just ask in a comment and make me happy that someone is reading this shit).
• The Earth. 
• Other Planets. 
• Scandinavian Myth Cycles. 
• The Inheritance Cycle, presumably.

So yeah, thats about it. And yes, this blog post is basically a bunch of random words floating around. Just like all others.

Ciao till later!

~Sam.

My Quests

I don’t know if they had quests in LOTR or Star Wars or Star Trek or in something else altogether, but Quests are an extremely important part of life. These are my quests, right now:

• .       Unbitching Myself:  This includes not gossiping about people, or talking about them behind their backs, not losing my temper, and most impossibly, not swearing beyond “damn”, “hell” and an occasional “bloody”.
• .       Not Whining: This’ll be the hardest, cuz I was born whining. Literally. I cried all night long, the night I was born. They said I was the angriest baby they’d ever seen. And to think that a doctor had had the nerve to tell my mother that I was a small fetus!
• .       Taking the High Road: Basically means not bitching about people even if they TOTALLY deserve it, not even THINKING bad things about them, not getting into dumb arguments. Basically, being a hoity-toity “higher” person and not stooping to dumb people’s levels and deigning to fight with them.
• .       Getting and enjoying an awesome life. Perfect Guy included.
• .       Finally deciding my requirements of Perfect Guy. And maybe blogging them.
• .       Trying not to figure out how my phone fixed itself with no contribution from me and just accepting that miracles happen. (HOW though?!)
• .       Trying to un-OCD myself, about the various things.
• .       Trying to be less of a hypochondriac.
• .       Trying to manage my time better. Finding time to read more and write more.
•          Trying not to blame all my troubles on Mark Zuckerberg.

      ~Sam