You know what the worst thing is?

I know who my perfect guy is. I know he exists. I know he's out there. I know he's not some unattainable dream.

I know he's out of my reach.

He's perfect.
He has dimples, the most beautiful smile.
He plays the guitar and the piano and sings, and I have every reason to believe he writes well.
He's gorgeous, he's talented; he seems nice.
He's funny, he's modest despite having every reason to be arrogant; he's beautiful.
He's perfect.
His looks, his history, his eyes, his teeth, his hair, his everything.
He's everything I've ever wanted; he's the perfect personification of my ideal man.

Unfortunately, he's also taken.

:'(


~Sam

Shocking News! *gasp*

Hello, people, animals, organisms and aliens! Welcome to my lair. Muahahaha!
No, I'm not a vampire, but I have something to tell y'all non existent readers. But, before I go on to tell you that deep dark secret of mine, I would like to talk to you guys, just talk.
You see, the thing that I don't understand is whether we have regular readers (in which case, we thank you all for putting up with us) or just random people who stumble upon this blog (if you're one of those people and bothered to read this post, thank you).  But there is something you can help us with since we would really like to know how many regular readers we actually have. So if you don't mind, just leave in a comment letting us know whether you're a regular or random. Also, if you want us to write about any specific stuff, ANY special requests,let us know. Feedback, people!
 Okay so now that I've intelligently used an awesome post title to draw your attention to get you to read all of that crap up there ^ , I will move on to what that title actually was about. *sigh* Here it goes. You're all going to enjoy me saying this. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Idownloadedajustinbiebersongandactuallyenjoyedit. No, really it wasn't all THAT bad. Now I know that those of you who know me, consider me to be a hard rock or ANYTHING apart from bieber type person, but yes , its happened I, Malko, enjoyed Justin Bieber's music. I meant it when I said it wasn't half that horrible. I mean, its just crazy that people listen to Timberlake and Usher but not him. And I've realized that it's the age. Add ten years on him and I bet my life that he wouldnt have half the haters he actually has now. I guess I'm kind of a hypocrite that way or whatever but yeah. The reason that so many people hate him is plainly because they're jealous. How many people get fame at the age he did? Now, don't me wrong, I'm not saying I'm a "belieber"( I recently found out that devoted fans of bieber call themselves that. Wow. Okay.), I'm just saying I don't have anything against the guy. So there you go, a somewhat-sort of interesting post... I guess. This is malko after a LONG time saying maytheforcebewithyou.

Update from Sam: People might also not like Bieber because he's a sixteen (seventeen? eighteen?) year old with a twelve year old's voice. But yeah, I like his songs too (sometimes). Don't go hatin' on the music for the guy.
Also, I've been accused of talking too much (shocking, I know). So if you're planning on actually commenting (doubtful), please tell me if you think my posts are too long. I'll try to cut it down =)
THIS POST IS NOT MEANT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY KNOW US.
kthnxbye!

The Girl-Guy Conundrum

So I promised something good, and this will hopefully live up to that. It's something I think about quite a lot anyway, I'm actually surprised I didn't do a post about it before now. Anyhow, here ya go!



At least once every month-no, make that twice, once for hair removal and once at that time-I hate being a girl. And by hate, I mean hate. Despise, detest from the bottom of my heart. I know guys have their problems too (though I'm not completely sure they have any which can match up to ours-guys reading this, I'd love your perspective on this), but I'm not usually very rational at those particular times, so being a girl seems like the absolute worst thing in the world. Because, come on. We have to deal with periods (or menstruation or chumps or rags or whatever you call it). We have to give birth, which is supposed to be the thing when it comes to pain. We have to wax. We have to "adjust". We have to deal with wolf-whistles and harassment. We have to deal with being the weaker sex. We have it so bad!

Then of course, the time passes and I'm happy with my gender again. We can shop, we can check out hot guys, we can gossip, we can hug people without everyone thinking we're gay! We're allowed to be childish and we don't necessarily have to work our ass of trying to excel in a career. We have emotional depth, we have makeup, we have it awesome!

And so the cycle continues.

When you see a hot guy. When he sees you, talks to you. When you get flirted with, when you feel all shivery and beautiful. When you shop and get a pretty outfit, when you doll up and feel the eyes on you, when you go to a salon and get stuff done-even if it's just a trim, you still come out feeling prettier! When you have amazing sleepovers and bond with friends from deep inside, when you feel safe and protected. Being feminine seems the best thing in the world at times like that.

Then again, a guy doesn't need to worry about looking refined, or being hairless or even remotely hygienic. What makes a girl a tramp makes a guy "manly". What makes a girl a slut makes a guy a Casanova, a player, and ten times hotter for it. You can chill and party all night without worrying about it getting late, or dangerous. You can fight it out with people and move on, no bitchiness, backbiting or bullshit allowed. It wouldn't be expected of you to be able to cook, and if you lent even the slightest hand to any household work you'd be lauded for your effort.  Doesn't seem all that bad a life.

Then again, you think about the 21st century, and their isn't really all that much of a difference between girls and guys anymore, at least in most places. In others of course, being a girl is pretty much hell on earth. But for the most part, we're more defined now by our personality than our gender, and if we don't like it-well, we can always change it. And even though I'll still hate my ovaries next week, I gotta admit-I think I got it good.


~Sam

      Also, people who didn't understand the title because of the font, it says : The Girl-Guy Conundrum.

This is how our baby was born.

"Baby" obviously referring to this esteemed blog that you're looking at right now.

So if you've ever wondered how a Grammar Nazi and a chick who hates proofreading landed up writing a blog together, wonder no more! For this is how it happened:
Malko: You should listen to Breakeven.
Me: By?
Malko: The Script.
*some sort of confusion*
Malko: YOU'VE NEVER HEARD THE SCRIPT BEFORE?
Me: Of course I have! You're the one who introduced me to them!
Malko: Oh yeah. Of course. I'm awesome. XD *after a moment* You're awesome, too. Webeawesome.
Me: webeawesome! @hotmail.com. Future email id for queries about our awesome bestseller book.
Malko: Yeah! OR...we could blog! WE SHOULD TOTALLY BLOG!
Me: YES! Yes yes yes yes YES!

Fin. (Because that's so much better than "The End").



And if you ever wondered how a Grammar Nazi and a depressed emo chick became friends in the first place: Thus is the combined power of facebook and Dan Bergstein.


And yes, this is the totally awesome 100th post we promised you guys. Totally anticlimactic, right? *looks vaguely apologetic*



~Sam

Winter -Updated

Okay, this blog is getting wayy too depressing/serious/unawesome. Jeez, I never knew I was such a drama queen! Anyway, we'll do something about that soon, promise, but for now hopefully this will revive your spirits a little bit, though this is another one of those posts that I'm posting just because its in my head and I'm desperate to write something. So sorry and all, we'll try becoming awesome again as soon as inspiration strikes!

In other news, we're 99! :D

Anyway, moving on..

"Wintry" is pretty much one of my favorite adjectives of all time. I love the way it sounds, the way it falls off your tongue, the image it creates in your mind, the harsh beauty it has. For similar reasons, I love 'winter', too.

But I hate winter. The freezing, the laziness it induces, the having to get out of my warm blankets in favor of a cold bathroom, the numbness, the perpetually cold fingers and feet. I hate it, I detest it, I wish it never happened. The worst thing is winter sounds so good-the warm evenings by a fire, the snowfall, the hot chocolate and good books/movies. The love, the cuddling together, the Christmas cheer. Unfortunately, things are rarely as pleasant as they seem in books. My winters are usually something like this:

*alarm rings*
*snooze*
*do that for about half an hour*
*finally wake up, and lay fantasizing under the warm blankets*
*eventually decide to get out of bed and face the big bad world*
*get out of bed*
*immediately regret the decision*
*consider getting back in*
*decide to brave it out (or, alternatively, to get back in, in which case I'm usually late and have a horrible morning)*
*shuffle slowly towards bathroom, which is currently as appealing as a dirty dank dungeon*
*try to prolong the journey for as long as possible*
*grab the brush on the way--no, I don't keep my brush in the bathroom, ever since that whole thing. I don't care if its not confirmed, this is one place where I don't mind being extra-careful*
*stare hatefully at the tap*
*gather up my courage and rinse my toothbrush, doing my best to keep my fingers as far away from the water as possible*
*finish brushing, etc, cursing the world the whole time (or composing in my head blog posts which will never see the light of day, or singing "We Shall Overcome" to myself and trying to pep myself into a shower)*

And the rest of the day is pretty much the same.

So you see why I have a problem.



I'm out of words now, so I'll go away. Again, we're hoping to get interesting again soon, and feel free to comment!


Love and all.
~Sam





Hi! Malko here! If you're wondering why I'm sharing the post with Sam, it's because I wanted to save the 100th post for something awesome. Well, awesomer than our regular posts.
So Sam here just described how her mornings go. If you found that amusing, i'm sure you'll enjoy reading my daily agenda.

*alarm rings at 6 AM*
*hit snooze and happily go back to sleep knowing that I have more time to sleep*
*what seems to be a moment later..*
Mom: "Get up! Don't you have work to do?" *death glare*
*get off the bed*
*die inside like I lost the love of my life (the love being my blanket and wondrous comfy  bed)*
*sleepily brush teeth*
*check phone and reply to texts and facebooks*
*procrastinate*
*procrastinate with book in front of my face*
*procrastinate by staring a spot on a page and then turning it to stare at another spot*
*breakfast*
*procrastinate*
*shower*
*lunch and GLEE(spoiler: FINN PROPOSES TO RACHEL!)/ ONE TREE HILL/SUPERNATURAL/HIMYM*
*try to work. fail*
*wait for mom to leave the house and then go back to watching t.v shows*
*determinedly try to work, but get distracted on sparknotes (obviously)*
*dinner*
*procrastinate*
*succumb to blissful slumber*

Oh and in case you're wondering what distracted me on sparknotes, its THIS.

Weird obsession phases 2.

2012.

I'm scared. I'm terrified. No, even that would be an understatement. It's 2012. Another year to disappoint me. Another year that I'll feel like I've wasted. Looking back at the previous year, I reluctantly question myself about what I've accomplished-nothing. Its an important year to me. This year will determine the fate of my career, and I instead of working towards it, I'm reading eragon. I think I'm suffering from indecisiveness. Go ahead, add that to the list. What's the point of happy moments when they disappear as they come? Life is a tease. It builds you up and it breaks you down, leaving you vulnerable and deranged. I may be a necrophile. Fantastic. The list just keeps getting better and better doesn't it? I apoligize for posting such depressing posts, but truth be told; life isn't always about butterflies and unicorns. But the next post will be on the lighter side.
On a happier note, eragon is turning out to be pretty good(yes, I know I should've read it a long time ago but I'm reading it now aren't I?). Books always draw attention when you need to be working. So yeah, that kinda sucks.

Empty Pages

I'm sorry. In advance. My last post sucked, and this one is going the same way, at least in my head. I highly doubt you give a damn about what I'm going to say, but I want to talk and vent and have no one talk back, and empty pages are perfect for that. My diary is unavailable, and this is the next best thing. It's actually the best thing, I prefer blogging to diary-writing anyway. It seems less emo-ish, is that weird? And more productive, somehow, and less childish. I don't even know what I'm saying any more.

Whatever. I've tried to write so often in the past few days-or is it weeks? I don't even remember when the last time was that I uploaded a proper post, with something that I actually wanted to talk about instead of just random updates and thoughts. Well, they're all random thoughts, but you get what I mean. I hope.

I hope. I try to. In God, in human beings, in justice. It's usually for no reason. No miracle saves the day, people don't suddenly become wise and wonderful, the world is still unfair. And yet I persevere, because you have to hope, right? You have to hope to live, because without hope there really is no point to it all. If you don't hope for a better tomorrow, then why would you suffer today?
Maybe fear is another reason to live, though. Fear of the unknown-fear that what comes after death might actually be worse than life. I don't want to live of fear.
This is funny, because I was actually going to do a post once on the reasons to live. The reasons that I live. It's still sitting in my drafts-box, empty.

The thing is, I think too much. I think and I think and I reach a conclusion, and then I think some more and I ruin it all. Whoever said ignorance is bliss had the right idea. Knowledge might be power, but I'd choose bliss over power any day. The more I think, the less certain I become, and the less certain I become, the more frustrated I am. And God am I frustrated right now. Nothing is certain in my life, because there's so much blasted information everywhere, and I'm so ignorant of it-not of all of it, that would be too beneficent of the Gods; I know enough of it to know that I should know more, but not enough to make me feel like I know enough.

That makes sense, right?

I'm thinking so much that I'm losing track of what's real. I have almost no opinions any more because I can see both sides and neither can convince me. And I liked having opinions.  I wish I could go back to being an ignorant 12 year old whose biggest concern was classroom bullying, who didn't give a damn about life and death and religion and economy, who didn't have to give a damn about any of it, who was old enough to have a bit of freedom, young enough to enjoy that limited freedom without yearning for more, and innocent enough to endure all those little pleasures and problems without thinking too much about them. I want to be a kid again. I don't want to be old. I don't want to be wise. Enlightenment never got anyone anywhere. The wise people in all the movies and books are always alone, always lonely, have you ever noticed? I want to be an average, happy human being. I don't care about being extraordinary any more. I don't care about leaving a mark on the world. I don't care about the shit that's happening to the world, the wars and the subterfuge and the global warming and the poverty and the sickness and the sins. I just want to be happy. If it's just an illusion, I don't care. If you were happy in a dream, would you want to wake up?


~Sam

Note to self.

Continue the weird obsession phases' posts.

Right here, right now.

Currently listening to never say never by The Fray.
Currently obsessed with Build God, Then We'll Talk by Panic! At The Disco.
Current mood: Nerdy.

Its been a long time.

First and foremost, a very happy (very belated) New Year to all of you. I know its been a long time, but I've been busy being sick and trying not to throw up. Stupid food poisoning got to me. And the most unfair thing? I was the only one of the group who actually liked the food. And hence, by the skewed laws of the universe, the only one who got sick. *glowers* Anyway. The new year, so far, has kind of sucked for me, I really hope its going better for you guys. There's been loads of introspection, loads of self-doubt, loads of angst, and through it all, loads of nausea. Sigh. I'm not depressed, but I've been thinking about depression, and...its a scary thing, isn't it? Its not like any other emotion-not like anger, which claws its way through you, and, having imprisoned itself in your heart, tries to claw back out. Its not like happiness, bursting upon you like a ray of sunshine. Ironically enough, the emotion it most seems to resemble-at least in my experience-is joy. [Joy, as I read somewhere, is happiness which does not depend on what happens.] It seeps into you slowly, oh so slowly, so that you don't even realize what is happening, and you go around doing your stuff, losing that bounce in your step, slowing down a little each day, sinking into that quicksand inch by inch without ever realizing it, and all the while the levels are rising, rising, until one day they reach the brink, and you wake up sad. Or, conversely, very, very happy, if you're talking about joy, which I'm not. I think depression is what I'm most afraid of in my life. The impenetrable darkness of it, the isolation. I know if I got depressed no one could help me, because I over think so much that I'd probably counter all the possible reasons they could give me to be un-depressed. Would I be able to think enough to find a reason of my own to be happy? I don't know. Why I'm talking to you about all this? Don't know that either. I just hope I never have to find out the answers.

Love and all.
~Sam

I wanted to post this asap, while it's still fresh in my head.

It happened on Friday December 30th, but I never got around to blogging about it. I was too busy trying to make plans for new years. Oh! Silly me, HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!
Okay so where was I? Oh yeah....friday was awesome I was almost 100% content. Which for me is like once in a blue moon. I was smiling like an idiot. I honestly have the greatest friends. Sam, I know I told you that we couldn't blog about it, but I couldn't help it; it was just blissfull.
In case youre wondering what was on friday, December 30th, it was my birthday.
Also, if you saw what my friends got/made or saw how I spent that day, you'd be jealous. ^_^