A Very Long List of Favourites Past

August flew by in the most depressive haze I have ever experienced, so apologies for the skipped post. Since then, there has been too much going on for me to write blog-appropriate words, and then there have just been no words at all, but here's to trying. (Fair warning, this is probably the crappiest list of favourites I've ever written and I wouldn't publish it at all but for the fact that the idea of skipping months makes my Type A self uncomfortable. So let's all just move on to December, and 2017, which cannot get here soon enough, and pretend this never happened.)

August

1. That outstandingly brilliant apple I had on the first of August, that made it make sense why an apple was central to Snow White's story- crisp and red and juicy enough that juices ran down my wrist; big enough that it could have been a meal unto itself. 
2. Talking with Marshmallow, and reading Cookie's blog, and being overcome with love and sheer gratitude, realizing that these incredibly intelligent, witty, funny, kind, loyal, opinionated, thoughtful, talented and loving people were my best friends. 
3. Pot roast chicken, and pretty white shoes and a pale pink lace hairband and the scent of books and red velvet cupcakes and a lovely Sunday afternoon with Kinglsey, in what seems to have been another lifetime. 
4. Being a mermaid princess on my birthday, and wallowing in my cheesy chicken bake and banana cupcakes. 
5. Crashing with all of my favourite friends in my favourite city (a preview of what I hope will be a much better October than my last one) and wrapping myself in all their love. 4km early morning walks in lipstick and a skirt and sandals; free breakfast after; talking till 4:00 a.m. because we were enticed into wakefulness by junk food and excellent hosting; winning at Cards Against Humanity (HA); "I see the ocean in his eyes" and scandalous stories and ~ scandalous ~ stories; that famous sambar that I've been hearing about for four years; the beautiful pink necklace surprise and eyeshadow and my favourite new lipstick; The Book of Hugs; all of the Harry Potter merch, including the earwax-flavoured every-flavoured beans; new jeans after five hours of indecisive store-hopping and death threats from my favourites.
6. My very own Kindle! 
7. Nights by the basketball court, basking in the starry breeze and quiet chatter- until that last one, of course. A few moments, up on that rooftop, on my birthday, just us (and a million waiters). Terribly unhealthy food, devoured with what I thought was love. Writing that terrible but cathartic rant- writing, after so, so, so long. This song. 

September 

1. Learning I'd got the internship I'd craved this time last year; that I was going to spend a month in my favourite place on the planet with most of my most favourite people on the planet, just when I needed it the most. The internship itself, and wallowing in the simple pleasure of correcting other people's grammatical errors. 
2. Plavi and the Math Geek. Thank you. Empathy Horse. Thank you. Nyancat and the Mosquito- thank you. Dorothy Parker and variously appropriate internet memes, and that one interview that Jen did for Vanity Fair after she and Brad separated- thank you. 
3. A lovely, lovely birthday treat by Pllvi that served up distraction on a plate.
4. Fish and rice from that one delivery place that has ruined me for fish anywhere else, including fancy restaurants. * insert appropriately heart-eyed emoticon* 
5. Othello, finally. God bless you, Shakespeare. 
6. Watching Sarah Kay and a million other talented poets live, and absorbing every word of every poem, and wrapping it around myself in a giant protective blanket and finally, for those few moments, letting myself weep. The crowd at the slam, the most lovely and positive and inclusive bunch of beautiful strangers I have ever wanted to envelop in a group hug; hanging out with new people and new experiences; excellent kathi rolls and the best cookies and cream ice-cream I've ever had. Note to self: go for events in the distant corners of the city and indulge in cheap amazing food more often.
7. My denim skirt and stripey top and, finally, long layered gold necklace and sling bag (perfect apart from being half an inch too small for my wallet to fit into)! 
8. Old Hindi songs, courtesy the Math Geek again. 
9. Random dinner with Pllvishani and backseat bitching-cuddling sessions. 

October & November 

1. A month with my favourites; experiencing the sheer joy of being able to meet without months of planning, of extended sleepovers and a neverending stream of biryani. The beautiful room with the bed with the cushioned headboard and neat perfect bathroom; Starbucks rendezvouses and family-photographer baby showers; gorgeous haircuts and an overdose of Chicken McSpicy's.  Spaghetti and red velvet cupcakes and wife-ing with Koko; the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon and the time we all met just to nap and sing along to Blue. 
2. Prepping for my exchange at Zurich (god, please let that happen) with all of the coats and boots and winter warmness shopping.
3. Long walks with Doobie, just like first year, except that everything is completely different.
4. Dinner with the Doosh, at my favourite Mexican place, back when we could still spend Rs. 500s and I chose to pay by card instead because those are the kind of brilliant decisions I take under stress. 
5. Cosplaying as my favourite badass literally-man-eating witch Manon Blackbeak for Comic Con- all of the pictures and all of the merchandise. Meeting Kim Possible (!) and embracing my inner evilness. It was so much fun being fierce instead of cute that it didn't even matter than only one person kinda sorta knew who I was.
6. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I don't even know where to begin expressing how I feel about this movie, so I won't.

There are other happy things that happened, but I can't remember them right now, and this has gone on long enough. 

~Sam 

July Favourites

It's been...a strange month, though not much has happened. I didn't keep a running list of favourites, because everything was so mundanely, continually happy or extraordinarily terrible that I didn't know what to write. I suppose...I suppose my favourites this month were my friends, at home and here, Jackass, my family. Texting my brother more than I think I ever have, and my cousin. Dilly dallying! Emailing Cookie, as always. Working on my Journal, though my bullet journal kind of took a back seat this month (resurrection attempts are already on, however). Long walks in the beautiful bracing weather (before it all got sunless and gloomy and I woke up to rain and a leak in my motivation that I couldn't afford to have), and strangely amazing food combinations (kebabs and chilli cheese maggi, perhaps with some green Lays? Outstanding). Chicken bhartha and tandoori roti on campus. Finally wearing my high tops, after years of being too lazy to wear any kind of footwear which required me to strap or lace it. Beautiful new footwear- God bless strappy sandals, truly. The Cat randomly coming into my room to hug me tight, and paint my nails, and talk about her rage vortex over Sansa's character development. The Good Wife! Wearing my new heels for the first time, if only for a random exam. Prepping my witness for that exam! My plaid shirt and my white skirt. Successfully (though perhaps "non-disastrously" would be a more appropriate description) trimming my bangs. My bangs and my green hair! Danish, and Shakespeare and justice. Poring over presents with Doobie. Chill scenes with Dia and green apple, King's and Cards Against Humanity. The scenes *after* that. My star-shaped earrings, even though I lost one (I am clearly not destined to have star-shaped jewellery in my life). Experimental online clothes ordering (though I'm yet to see how that will pan out). Freshmenu, and finally finding food on it I (occasionally) like! Oh, my earphones- the first earphones I've ever actually cared about (I usually just buy the first cheap pair I find, because I have an un-discerning ear- or so I thought, before I briefly used a pair of nice ones and was ruined forever). Nagarjuna, and happy fun. That moment when I found my earphones inside my umbrella, after I thought I'd lost them forever. Jackass.

...okay, that is a longer list than I had expected- it always amazes me how many things I find I have to be thankful for when I actually think about them, how much happiness goes by unnoticed. So I guess I'm glad I have this to make me take notice, haphazard as it may all have been this month.

Thank you, all of you.


~Sam 

June Favourites

I'm running out of ways to say "oops, I'm late."

1. Nyancat's lifesaving case lists.
2. Mosquito's lifesaving care package. My first care package ever, and it had everything! From childhood (and adulthood and adolescent) favourite foods to stationary and amazing-smelling body wash to all-time-favourite chocolate. I love you. 
3. Chocolate. Thank you, love, for getting me through exams (and also life). <3 (Note: Referring to actual chocolate, and not to a person named chocolate.)
4. Hamilton. Helpless. So good it literally wouldn't let me fall asleep because it kept playing in my head (and then made me want to tear my hair out because it was 5:00 a.m. and I really needed to sleep).
5. Holidays, and the eternal sunshine and tranquility of my grandparents' place; my dearest grandparents; and pizza after a week of unbelievably healthy pro-fruit, anti-oil/salt/spice eating. 
6. My aunt dragging her entire family along to come see me. That night catching up with my cousin. 
7. Blue kajal! 
8. Successfully finding the kind of nice flats I'd been looking for, which is a nice departure from my recent shopping failures. (At least ten hours spent, not a single decent skirt found.)
9. Chillaxing and dillydallying at my aunt's; the hysterically hilarious emergency family meeting when a secret girlfriend was unearthed. 
10. The Crunch Box's caramel and English toffee popcorn. *heart eyes emoticon* 
11. Successfully getting bangs! I had had the most traumatic experience getting too-short bangs a few years ago, and was determined to get over my fear and actually try them out properly once. And given that I was with my favourite hair stylist of all time (<3), I figured there was no better time to experiment, and asked him to chop off the perfect side fringe he'd given me to bangs. And for a change, I was glad I did!
12. Dinner with the cuz. The best pasta I can remember having, and one of the best oreo milkshakes too!
13. My write up on Harry Potter and the media when I eventually, finally, painstakingly finished it after annoying and alienating almost every friend I had in the process. 
14. Meeting capable professionals who were good at their jobs and didn't try to cheat people! Unicorns exist!
15. Those cold, spicy, midnight snack noodles. Mmmm. Ditto perfectly-toasted toast, chilly cheese spread, and tomatoes, cucumbers and capsicum. Nothing tastes as good as toast at 2:00 a.m.
16. Mangoes and a neverending supply of jamun. <3 
17. Those first few minutes of meeting my tiny cousin and having him love me, before he went from cute kid to clingy rude brat. Kid validation is the best validation, until they make you want to strangle them.
18. Cookie's deliciously satisfying mail that one morning when I was so frustrated I could have cried.
19. Bullet journal-ing! I finally started one, and it was so much fun! See here for more details about what the hell I'm talking about. I sincerely hope I keep this up through the year, and that it turns out as awesome as it is in my head. 

Former unconditional-kid-lover, 

~Sam 

May Favourites

This month has just been...a rollercoaster, the ups of which were: 

1. Cap Am, which, I stand by my view, was not a great movie, though I guess it was a good enough one, and yummy Andhra lunch and keeping Doobie around and dancing in the dark to this and this and this and basically being the most stereotypical girl there can be. 
2. Pigging out at the local McDonald's when I should have been working.
3. Auto rides in gorgeous weather, and feeling the breeze on my face.
4. JAMUN. 
5. The calm which comes with routine (in this case, a skincare routine, which is unfortunately the only routine in my life at the moment).
6. A functioning skincare routine!
7. Fixing my panda eye mask issue! I love the mask, but the bands were too tight and were supposed to go around my ears, which basically ended up being a recipe for headache. I attached a ribbon to both bands, to pull around my head, and now it's perfect.
8. The weather FINALLY becoming beautiful again. Hello, pre-monsoon gorgeousness.
9. Fresh, clean bedding.
10. At some point I will stop saying this, but - laundry. The smell of fabric softener all through my room. Waking up and getting rid of morning grumpiness with the pleasure of folding clothes. 
11. Subway!!!! Twice!!!!!
12. The amazing support of Nyancat, Marshmallow, Cookie and Jackass as I whined my way through an essay. 
13. The brief but beautiful return of Nyancat.
14. The Importance of Being Earnest and talented cat-friends, and dinner at my favourite mall with lovely people and a very understanding, very wise, very lovely jackass. Waffles with the works (i.e nutella and ice cream and chocolate sauce and other pieces of heaven I don't even remember). <3
15. Free fancy food and tonic for the soul, and the most relaxed I've been with friends for a long while. Thanks, Nyancat and Kingsley. 
16. Shopping. I know I'd vowed not to shop for another year, but that skirt was gorgeous, I own nothing else like it, I have clothes and shoes and accessories to go with it, and, most importantly, even my mother told me to buy it, and I couldn't say no to my mother, could I? (She hated the heels, but I'd already bought them by then, so...oops.) Also, it ties in with my present philosophy of things I love when I see them, instead of setting aside a specific day or time for shopping and then buying things I don't completely love just because I need to birthday shop. 
17. Those fries at Chilis. Also, the nachos. Also, the barbecue sauce. Also, the namkeen-y rice bowl. 
18. Living the cliche. Street food, and being adorable, and trying to fit the largest gol gappa on the planet into my mouth in one go. Balloons and bubble-makers. Ice-gola! Love. 
19. Lying under the stars on the basketball court, just talking and listening and breathing. 
20. Cookie.

Love,

~Sam 

April Favourites

I knew an April once. She introduced me to the concept of deodorant as something different from perfume, and asked me to sniff her armpits as proof of its effectiveness. She didn't seem to understand why I declined, and spent the rest of the year making fun of my lack of deodorizing with her friend Ryan. I didn't like that April very much. This April, however, was happiness incarnate. 

1. Finally celebrating my employment, with an impulsive brunch (which the traffic turned into lunch) which led to some impulsive shopping (where others shopped and I exercised restraint and was proud of myself) because nobody wanted to go back, which led to impulsive drinks and an inordinately intense game of taboo (we won!), which for some reason I never remember how much I like, at a brilliant place which has chalkboard tables you can actually draw on, and loud music and fans spraying mist on you. Oh, and donuts. Donuts were an important part of this celebration.  
2. Air conditioning, whenever and wherever I could find it.
3. FABRIC SOFTENER. The only thing I didn't like about the washing machine was how my clothes came out cardboard-stiff, and fabric softener, the sweet-smelling saviour, fixed even that. Being able to stay on top of my laundry needs feels GREAT. 
4. Warm apple cake with toffee sauce and vanilla ice cream, and peri peri chicken which technically didn't belong to me; and chicken lababdar pizza, and cheesecake with a brownie bonanza smoothie poured on top, and an impossible to eat goan prawn curry pad thai, half of which ended up spattered on the table. 
5. A hot dress which made me want to sway my hips like never before (thanks, sparkykitty!) and high heels. (Okay, maybe not so much the high heels. I seem to have forgotten how to walk in them.)
6. Home. My heart went home, after a long, long year, and it was better than I had ever imagined. All of the plans were topsy-turvy, but I ended up doing everything I had planned anyway, even if not in the way I had planned. Special shout out to colouring and cute Asian dinner date with the marshmallow, and feelsy sleepovers, (accidental) second base and prank calling with pretty much my two oldest, closest peeps. Also to that first happy evening with Malko and Neelz. Sea salt caramel cupcake, I will never forget you. 
7. FINALLY getting a good shopping deal! Whenever I have something specific in mind that I want to buy, I end up finding and buying the most expensive (and not even necessarily the best) version of it available. It SUCKS when I realize I could have bought something better for cheaper, if I had ever found it in this lifetime. So when I went to what I remembered as a fairly expensive store, just to window shop, I didn't have much hope- but then I ended up finding the white short skirt of my dreams, and a bonus straight cut black formal dress for about half of what would be a reasonable price, and a third of what I would have been willing to pay for them. I'm still reeling, waiting for something to go wrong, but mostly my heart just will not stop grinning widely. 
8. Exercising self-restraint and NOT buying those nice and comfortable but not perfect and a little too expensive black heels. 
9. Tangerine touch, and the realisation that orange lip tint can look great. 
10. Biryani and aloo rice. All of the hearts. 
11. #srstalks with the Jackass. Clarity, stability, and finally, some hope. 
12. Dooshi in Bangalore! Discovering that one of my favourite dinner places doesn't do breakfast too bad either, finally remembering to take a picture, childhood reminiscing and strict-parent empathising. 
13. Piyu Behrupiya, a Hindi adaptation of Twelfth Night. I understood about a third of it (my Hindi skills are...questionable), and loved all of it. 
14. 9:00 p.m. walks. 
15. Malibu. <3

~Sam

March Favourites

Why have I never made a march on pun for this?
This is late because I forgot about time and also I was busy (because of the aforementioned forgetting about time). It also sucks because I spent March in an apathetic haze. Hopefully April will be better.

1. Poetry. I was crying and I was lost, and as always, poems found me. Specifically, this time, this poem.
2. Patialas. God made the sun, and then He made baggy pants so we could survive the sun's stupidly blistering heat. 
3. FRUIT! For some reason I keep forgetting how much I really, really like fruit! Bananas! Grapes! Apples! Oranges! 
4. Cool drinks and good friends (I have already forgotten what I was referring to when I wrote this).
5. Entering my room at the end of the holidays and not finding it overrun by rats, a marked improvement over this time last year. 
6. Shopping, so much shopping! Two new dresses (casual, which I desperately wanted, though there are very few kinds of dresses I don't desperately want), and a bright kurti and tie-dye tops! 
7. Finally getting myself to start using the washing machine to do my laundry, instead of relying on more distant/expensive options/waiting till I went home or my mom came over and took matters into her own hands, and being overwhelmed by just how convenient it is! (Except for that first time when I had to go back and forth five times in the scorching heat before I found a free machine. Note to self: never do laundry on a Sunday.)
8. Having a course I'm actually interested in after so long, and finding myself a project topic I actually truly want to work on and learn more about. (We're going to ignore the fact that I have procrastinated actually working on it despite all of that interest. I was busy with all the shopping ok.)
9. Kapoor and Sons. Bless that perfect, perfect movie and those delicious, delicious nachos (even though they ran out of jalapenos). 
10. Taking care of myself, physically, whether that's using conditioner or exercising a bit or eating more fruit. 

okiwillgoprojectnowbai

~Sam 

February Favourites

I will never not point out the alliteration of this title.

1. My mum's voice when I told her I was coming home. 
2. Stirring food in the cooking pan. 
3. All of my grandmother's food.
4. Chilling with my grandpeeps, generally.
5. Being home, and the attendant comforts of not worrying about food or laundry or anything. 
6. Reading on my Kindle, called Cinder. 
7. Reading, generally.
8. The light wintry chill in the air, and woolen socks and sweaters. My owl sweater. <3 
9. Successfully gathering the courage to shower despite the cold. 
10. Reading about and imagining this guy who rides his unicycle to get around campus. 
11. Pancakes

~Sam 

January Favourites (and Resolutions)

It's been a tumultuous beginning of the year. What I've liked, so far:

1. When we stopped fighting. 
2. Being fed pizza. Pizza, generally. 
3. Becoming employed (when the news eventually sank in) (I'm still slightly terrified this will turn to out have been some sort of mistake). On a related note- the prospect of a set of holidays where all I do is holiday (sleeping! eating! reading!).
4. My yet-to-be-delivered panda eye mask.
5. Being nearly done with another term, and one step closer to the heaven that (I hope) is final year!  
6. Competent teachers and guest lecturers, in equal measures terrifying and sexy. 
7. Giant, cozy, warm tshirts, and my new pyjamas. Speaking of- SHOPPING! So much shopping! Earrings with the Chocolate Bomb, and a suitcase-full with my mom- blouses and pyjamas and trousers and leggings and a messenger bag (finally!) and the comfiest pretty bra ever. 
8. Books- so many books! Everything by Rainbow Rowell, starting with my eternal favourite, Carry On (thanks Ron!), some trashy romances obviously, and another Shannon Hale. The prospect of rereading all of the Harry Potter books in February.
9. The simple, beautiful pleasure of browsing and buying books- and a 70% sale at Landmark, which meant getting three books for the price of one and, more importantly, meant THREE. NEW. BOOKS! 
10. Being reminded of this poem, and all its memories and associations, just when I needed it. Bless you, Marshmallow. (I still hate you for all the feels.)
11. KINDLE. Her name is Cinder. Bless you, Amanda. 

A brief update on my resolutions for this year (because you totally care):
I'm not seriously looking to change anything or aim for anything in particular this year, like I did last year and the year before that, mostly because those two sets cover everything important, but also because I simply don't feel the need to radically change things and try to claw myself out of a sad hole this year, for which I am grateful. What I'd like to change, I mostly can't, so I'm going to just enjoy what I've got and live with the rest. To that end, some broad things I'd like to work on are- being more patient, with myself, with others, and with circumstances; stressing less, especially when something is out of my hands, as most things are; and snarking less, even when I hate someone's guts and want to claw their eyes out. There are obviously other things I want to do this year- read more, learn to cook, relearn to drive, be healthier- but it seems less important this year to make a list of them. Also, I'm lazy.

~Sam

December Favourites

It's been as short a year as any I've ever lived, and a packed one, and I've grown more this year than I can fully recognize, right now. (My love for commas, however, remains constant as ever, clearly.) But reflections are for later, when submissions aren't right on top of my head. For now, this is a snapshot of a December I hope to remember forever.

1. 11:00 a.m., most days a week.
2. Cough syrup. 
3. Cool new music, generally, even if the new One Direction album has unfortunately largely been a disappointment for me. :( 
4. Speaking of cool new music- NH7 Weekender! It was not an event I had ever imagined attending- it didn't really feel like my scene- and it was a last-minute, availability-of-cheap-tickets-dependent decision to go, but man am I glad I did. That has to be one of the best Sundays of my life- special shout out to Alien Chutney, The Map Room, dosa with chicken curry, favourite outfit (and my new gladiators' very first outing!) and the adorable gay couple I saw making out and being cute together, one of them stereotypically serious and stoic and his counterpart as flirty and dance-y as they come. 
5. Free food, terrible humour, and great company on the 17th of December. And an hour's indecision and hand-wringing over present-picking turning out to have been worth it. ^_^
6. Christmas in the loveliest seaside town I've ever seen, across three continents. Nutella banana pancakes (nutella everything, really, those two days), and pasta and Indian and mashed potatoes and secluded beach coves and feeling like the embodiment of the Christmas spirit in my Santa hat and being wished by random strangers, and shopping and temple-hopping and those moments with the waves crashing around us and Christmas morning with you- it made hours of throwing up and freezing and room-hunting worth it. Worth every moment.
7. December 31. The gorgeous venue, the people-watching, the warmth of that sweatshirt, the numerous hugs, the subway subs and cookies, the company, the conversations and whispered confessions.
8. My new glasses! I was indifferent, I liked them, I hated them, I liked them, I bought them, I despised them, I cautiously liked them, and now I absolutely do like them! No changing my mind again, promise. 
9. Doobie.
10. Jackass. 

~Sam 

November Favourites

I'm not late you're late

1. A lot of trashy historical romance novels. Thank you, Julia Quinn and Tessa Dare, for your beautifully inaccurate reads. 
2. Getting an internship! Phew. 
3. New phone!!!! Pretty cover!!! Only one drop in two weeks!! (touchwood)
4. That one day when I decided to be super productive- by organizing the songs I was going to put on my phone.
5. The last five minutes of each of the episodes I've watched of Please Like Me. I'm still conflicted about my feelings about this show, but the end of each episode keeps me coming back.
6. I finally, after years, wrapped up the Chaos Walking trilogy and..wow. There is an empty space in my life now, where the obsession of reading one of those books used to dwell, and I don't know what to fill it with because I don't remember the last time I felt that way about a book.
7. Overshooting my Goodreads Reading Challenge- even if half the books I've read are fluff and filler and the aforementioned trashy romances. 
8. Buying pretty bags. Three! ^_^ All very, ahem, necessary. 
9. Buying colour pencils and crayons, and spending hours (okay, minutes- lots of minutes) deciding which ones to buy. And colouring with them. Resisting the temptation of beautifully unusable pretty notebooks scattered everywhere. 
10. The Voice auditions (yes, again). 
11. HOMEMADE BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE! And also brownies. And brownie batter. *sighs*
12. Thanksgiving. Pumpkin pie, and other things. <3 

~Sam

October Favourites

I succeeded in keeping a running list- but then completely forgot that a new month had happened. I am bad with time. (Time is bad to me too, so we make a good pair.) Sorry. In the last month, I sifted through the shit and liked:

1. White chocolate mocha with cinnamon powdered on top, aka drink from the gods. I had two (and with only one sugar sachet in each!), despite $$$, and despite it being fairly strong coffee by my standards. 
2. Video-chatting with Cookie. Saved my sanity, that did.
3. Jackass messaging that one time, at just the right moment, when the despair was brimming over and I was hopelessly lost and didn't know how to mop up the mess inside my head.
4. Dissecting my hamartia with Marshmallow. 
5. Sitting outside, reading, at my favourite cafe one sunny Saturday afternoon, with great food and dessert, and of course, my hazelnut coffee. 
6. My one-week-of-survival present for myself, a necklace with an arrow and a crossroads sign, warming my lost, sybolism-obsessed, basic-white-girl heart. 
7. This nice new place Popo had found where I went for a nice solo lunch (like most of my lunches and dinners this month, sigh). If they cut the prices by half (let a girl dream), it would for sure, absolutely, 100% be my new favourite place- excellent staff with just the right amount of friendliness to be welcoming and helpful without being pushy, lovely decor and beautiful music. And they didn't mind me sitting there reading and eating by myself, at all! And they ran after me to return my card when I'd left it behind! And, to top it all off, they even had great food! 
8. October 13, when I woke up, and I was okay. I was happy. I was good. 
9. Parts of my internship, and the feeling of belonging I had started to feel by the end. Arbor, and sakhzi. 
10. The quaint English cafe I found and forced my mother and sakhzi to go to, which had white picket fences and puns on cutlery and cute tea kettles and Harry Potter doodles, along with lovely food like beautiful, buttery, hot chicken pies, and sweet dreamy salted caramel milkshakes. 

Unfortunately, all of the work emails I've sent means that I now have the fight back the urge to sign off on personal emails and blogposts with "Warm regards." 

Warm regards,

~Sam

September Favourites

Once again, I am late (though this time I don't care, because I was just so tired.) Once again, I have forgotten to keep a post running through the month, and that I do care about because- what did I even do in September? I have no memory of the past month, and not in the good way, so bear with me on this vague, generic list please.

1. One thing I am 100% certain was a favourite was the end of that exhausting, soul-sucking term, and equally horrendous set of exams. Just. Over. Goodbye. Please stay gone.
2. Cuddling. Always.
3. THIS "SEXY AND I KNOW IT" COVER! I must find a way to get myself over this, it has taken over my life (and now all my YouTube recommends for me is various other covers of the song. IT'S NOT THE SAME THING, YOUTUBE. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT.) 
4. The Voice (US), in general, especially Season 4, with Shakira and Usher. If I survived the week before exams in one piece, it was because Doobie kept spamming me with links from this season, and man does this show seem great. Blake and his dad-jokes, Shakira being the little...spitfire that she is, Usher just straight-up exuding chill, and Adam, my dear Adam and his puppy faces and sad, sweet efforts to get people on his team. I have to watch this show properly at some point. But for now, it's goodbye till next exam/project time, I suppose. 
5. Pizza in the quad yo. Because pizza, and also quad. And decent company is never amiss, I guess.
6. That moment, and evening, when Doobie and I found out we had another 6 days to work on our projects. Breathing a sigh of relief, actually breathing, feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders, where it had accumulated without my even having realized it, dropping everything and going out, laughing, laughing, and wandering the streets putting up posters, publicizing my favourite fest (ah, who am I kidding, I love them all), relaxed and happy and in control again.  I knew there was a god up there somewhere. 
7. Chatting with MathBoy, and liking my writing again, at least for that brief moment. And not hating it afterwards either. The joy of knowing that it makes at least someone, somewhere happy. 
8. Nyancat's treat! The company, certainly, and rolling our eyes at over-friendly, pushy waiters, and cherry pie with cream, and warm chocolate cake, and loving barbs and hugs and, in my case, free food. ^_^
9. This kind of happened after midnight on the 30th, but I maintain, usually, that it isn't the next day until you have slept and woken up and/or the sun has risen, so Imma just include it here: making up holiday homework questions. And answering some of them. 
10. Shopping with Popo and the Cat! I did not do any shopping myself (SUCCESSFUL EXERCISE OF SELF-CONTROL YAAS BITCHES) (okay except when I succumbed and bought that beautiful pair of earrings but they were so unique and do you know how difficult it is finding unique earrings (or clothes or anything, for that matter) these days when everything looks the same. That wasn't shopping, that was an investment.) but I love assisting other people shop as well, when I'm in the mood (i.e. have adequate food and sleep, both of which I did- who would've known bacon and sausages inside pancakes would taste so damn good?) so that was a really fun day even if I was dead on my feet by the end. Plus it was also nice going and trying out pretty clothes I found, even if I had no intention whatsoever of buying them. 
11. Oh, learning about the new One D album, and listening to their new single(s)! Drag me down. <3 
12. Being called terms of endearment. :3
13. Jackass, I suppose. *rolls eyes*
14. Talking, bistro pasta and that episode and a half of Boys over Flowers, with Popo. ^_^ 
15. Packing, McDonalds and half of a walk with Doobie. Chatting for hours, again, listening again, connecting again, companionship again.

Hey, turns out I can remember good things if I try hard enough.

~Sam 

August Favourites

For some reason, I'd forgotten to have a running draft of favourites this month, and I'm definitely not in the mood for a favourites post right now, but let's see what I can pull up, because this really has been a mostly lovely month, albeit one of expensive tastes and...expenses, generally. >.<  And embracing my inner basic white girl. (Though let's face it, I've never had much of a problem with that.)

1. Emails! Lovely, long, beautiful emails, from both Jessie and Cookie, at various points of the month, which means my inbox is a happy, happy place right now. (Though it doesn't really help that all I want to do is reply to them, when all I need to do is sit and try to figure out the law on changing service conditions when adjudication is pending, and about the international seabed under the UNCLOS. Why is my life.) 
2. Various and very, very varied amazing songs- at the moment, it's Fight Song which is keeping me going. More than keeping me going, it's actually firing me up, I LOVE THIS SONG. 
3. This is ancient at this point, but Curiosity singing happy birthday to itself just does something nice to me. :') It doesn't help that Curiosity is a really, really cute name for a robot-rover-thing. 
4. Shopping! Lots and lots of pretty clothes shopping, dresses and tops and shoes more dresses! ^_^ I also finally got myself a wallet I'm happy with, after approximately three years of unsatisfactory wallets- I think the last wallet I'd actually really liked was the one that got stolen at the end of twelfth grade. I'll miss you forever, pretty soft grey-black wallet. :( Anyway, this one is a black and white and yellow floral print that I'd love on a dress, but a wallet will have to do for now. 
5. My mum's perfume. I've been too broke to replace my deo, so I've just taken to spritzing myself with this perfume I'd stolen from my mum and damn, I've grown to like it. 
6. I found the PRETTIEST, CLASSIEST, COMFIEST, SEXIEST PAIR OF BLACK HEELS ON THE PLANET but the cashier was being a huge jerk so I decided to leave them, but I'm still really glad to have found that heels like that exist on this earth. 
7. Possible TMI, but deal with it: pretty lacy bra. Also, shopping and lunching and chatting and chilling with Popo. Dayum, that honey chili chicken was beautiful. 
8. Letters, to and from people, and everything in and around them.
9. My treat yo self day! I dolled myself up and went to my favourite breakfast place and wrote happy things in my favourite diary and people-watched and eavesdropped and wandered around my favourite street and bookshop and garden and curled up under a tree with a fun happy meaningful novel which, this reminds me, I really need to finish, and bought myself a beautiful blue-green apple-shaped balloon which I eventually ended up giving away to a baby, and was just really, really, really happy. 
10. Kingsley. I don't think he's ever been introduced here (*gasp*) but just chilling and chatting and eating and talking and walking with him brings a much-needed lightness to my life. 
11. 29.08.15. Music, phad thai and good conversation. 
12. It was birthday month, and I can't remember ever having had a better birthday. Cookie. Jackass. My friends. Me. Everything seemed to come together in harmony that weekend, and even when some of it didn't, so much of it did that it didn't really matter. (Man, I am articulate.) I wish I could write about how every single moment wove together into a tapestry of sheer joy that weekend, but I can't- it'll just make me cry. 
13. Cookie. This has been a month of Cookie, from near-daily phone conversations updating each other on the minutiae of our lives, to the countdown to her getting here, to her getting here and seeing her gorgeous self at one of my happy spots in town; to having her stay over, and showing her around my city, my room, my life; and talking to her, physically just being able to talk to her and hold her and be near her; her presence in my room; breakfast and lunch and dinner with her- dressing and walking and talking with her, it just made life complete- right up until that moment I had to let her go. Come back soon, love.
14. BANANA CHOCOLATE CHIP CAKE OMNOMNOMNOMNOM. Thank you, Cookie Mother. 
15. Birthday month also meant PRESENTS, and I got the loveliest ones! Books, so many books, and more than that- notes and letters and and hugs and words of love and encouragement that mean everything. Thank you, all of you. 
16. Basketball court walks with Doobie and Nags dinners with sparkykitty. 

Other things probably but who has the memories for that, yeah?

Late again,

~Sam 

July Favourites

I don't understand time. I could've sworn yesterday was the 31st of July.

1. Marble teacake. That is all. The amount of joy I got from that first bite was unreal.
2. Watching ZNMD with Doobie, and laughing and talking and giggling for no reason for hours.
3. Pllvi, and our epic five-hour talking marathon, where we covered just about everything from friends to juniors to seniors to love and life and careers and dogs and lipstick and feminism.
4. Pizza. For some reason, I'd gone off pizza, which was a strange feeling. The love is back though, with a bang. <3
5. Inside Out. Great company, excellent movie, plus I finally fulfilled my seafood pink sauce pasta craving! Bonus: chocolatey chocolate dessert.
6. Those five minutes  that one time when I was productive.
7. One lovely Sunday evening when I went up to the terrace, finally giving up my dark laptop for the beautiful heaven that had been teasing me outside my window all day. I firmly believe that it is the best decision that I have ever made- I literally moaned in delight when I stepped out and was embraced by the breeze, and then I walked around all fluttery for a while before deciding to climb onto the water tank, the next deck (?) of the terrace, which for some reason I haven't noticed in the past two years, and then even higher, onto the water tank of that terrace. And then I turned around, my feet on the stairs, my hair blowing all around me, and watched the very clouds being bullied away by the eager playful breeze, and I looked at all the trees and all the crows and even the railing of the stair next to me with a fondness usually reserved only for great poetry or great cake, and I laughed madly to myself, and shivered and hugged myself and laughed and laughed, and looking in wonder at the stunning sky, the fluttering trees, and felt purest, most unobscure joy. 
8. Sitting with Doobie in the centre of the basketball court at midnight, discussing Kelsen's monistic theory of law and staring up at the stars. 
9. Some..conversations. 12/07/15, arguably, but more importantly, 14/07/15. And also, 18/07/15, I suppose. Apparently, I'm quite something. 
10. Cake and fudge ice cream. ^-^

xoxo,

~Sam

June Favourites

I completely forgot we'd moved into July! Here goes-

1. Amazing weather, in that first part, rain and breeze and sunshine and fluttering leaves. 
2. Getting a couple of opportunities that I'd been yearning for, for a while, the few things that actually excited me in law school, which I never thought I'd be able to get. Shoutout to nyancat and my mum for gently pushing me. <3 And for everything, generally. 
3. MANGOES. Succulent, big, beautiful, amazing-smelling, mangoes. 
4. Sparkykitty. <3 (Why are there no emojis on this thing? How am I even supposed to express?) 
5. A surprisingly fun internship! (And interns.)
6. Delhi, and its associated pleasures- cousins and aunt and haircut and tall glasses of chilled milk and, of course, incomparable food.
7. PRETTY NOTEBOOKS. 
8. My nani's chawal ki kheer. I have no idea how to say that in English. My grandma's rice...pudding? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
9.  The kind old man who allowed me to switch seats with him on the train, and the weird cute kid who sat in front of me and sneakily peeked at me throughout, darting away every time I caught him at it, but eventually summoning up enough courage for a protracted conversation, in the course of which he informed me he'd drink up all my blood. Lovely. 
10. Lazing around with good books (the Parasol Protectorate series!) and nothing immediately important to do. 

~Sam

May Favourites

I will not be late this time. I will not be late this time. I will not be late this time.
I AM NOT LATE THIS TIME. :D

1. The Photograph video. The expression and feelings I had watching this will probably only be repeated when I'm watching my own child take her first steps.
2. Doobie. Idk if you read this,  and I've told you irl, but thank you for being in my life, okay? Now go work, bye.
3. That questionnaire. (Okay, I wrote this at some point at the beginning of the month and now I have no idea what I was referring to.) 
4. Writing! And rereading some of my old stuff, and actually liking parts of it. 
5. Kintsugi. The lyrics and the music and the voice and my state of mind just blended in together to make one of the most beautiful listening experiences I've had in a while. 
6. Cleaning and listening to more beautiful music. 
7. 20.05.15. Going to the cute pizza place with amazing pizza and a furry carpet of a pet dog, getting drenched in the rain and clinging to sanity by discussing in great detail the plot of Race Gurram, cleaning the entire room and getting that lovely letter from Doobie. 
8. This epic wordplay in one of my papers, about how the prima facie standard seems quite low on the face of it. That entire paper, actually, maybe. 
9. A, and breakfast and books and coffee and clothes, and a lovely day. 
10. Pretty clothes! Formal skirts and blouses!! 
11. Mum. 

Now I'm going to go back to ignoring the soft pleas of my beautiful unread novels, and try to get some work done. Wish me luck. 

~Sam 

April Favourites

I don't know why I keep forgetting about these, my mind is all over the place these days. That apart, April is such a pretty name for a month! Getting to it, now:

1. Cookie's Emails. These are a kind of constant favourite, but this is the month when I realized they haven't been officially recognized yet (I think). Just seeing her name in my inbox brightens my face, and actually reading the email brightens up my whole day. -sentiments- 
2. RC's music. Like this and this and this. 
3. The Thinking Out Loud music video. Youtube randomly gifted it to be one evening, and I fell in love with it all over again; and then it started playing in a shop randomly and the corners of my mouth just lifted. At this point, this is so going to be my wedding song (in the event that I have a wedding song). 
4. My Abba spree this one random evening, when it was raining outside and the beautiful city breeze was back, and I'd woken up at 4:20 in the pm, and everything was just unreal and sort of floating on air. 
5. ICE CREAM. Cake and fudge, you are my life now. Along with cookies and cream, of course. And waffle cones. WAFFLE CONES.  
6. Cheesecake from my favourite cheesecake place (twice!). Having a favourite cheesecake place! Cheesecake! Also, hot chocolate from my favourite cheesecake place! Also also, the eggless toffee chocolate cake from my favourite cheesecake place. Basically, everything. Everything from my favourite cheesecake place.
7. 4am conversation with a friend. Gracias. 
8. The Opposite of Loneliness. Some of those essays hit home, square in the front yard. 
9. The joy and relief of getting my internship, and of finding out I'd be going to Delhi again and could thus a) chill with my cousins and b) get my hair cut by Shahid!
10. Pushing Daisies! <3 Everything about this show is so perfect- from Chuck's fifties style dresses to Emerson's smartassness to Ned's piemaking and gawkiness and everything, Ned's everything. And the narrator of course, Jim Dale makes everything perfect. 
11. Regina. At this point, she is the only character I like in Once Upon A Time, but man do I love her. 
12. Poetry! So much pretty poetry! RC's and Anne Sexton's and Maya Angelou's and and this one oh my god, and that Who's Your Poet BFF quiz that started this whole spree.
13. Philip Pullman's Northern Lights, again. Rereading old favourites is such a pleasure, I wish I could do it all the time (but no, there are too many new books to read for me to have that privilege). 
14. Long facebook conversations with new friends and old. 
15. Writing that paragraph of the Zaara story that V made me write for her, and contemplating writing more. (Pfft.)
16. EGO BOOST CONVERSATIONS. :D "Praise me, bitch." 
17. Making sparkykitty laugh at all the unintentionally funny parts of Avengers (which also happened to be pretty much the only parts of the movie I actually enjoyed).
18. A couple of pretty damn good hazelnut lattes. 
19. The children's section of this pretty old bookstore, with all those beautifully bound books of fairytales. Sigh. 

Okay, that's all for now. Ta!

~Sam 

March Favourites

I'M LATE. Again! I'm so sorry. :( So much has happened this last month, I absolutely forgot about my humble favourites list. But here, very briefly, are the favourites I did keep track of/remember:

1. The day before the first day of term. I love this calm before the storm, this one day in limbo where you're alone- just before you're thrust into the activities of the term, and just after the packing and goodbyes from home- a day of cleaning and unpacking and thinking and being and putting things in order for a new beginning.
2. HOME. AGAIN. SO EPIC. I CANNOT DESCRIBE. BEAUTIFUL. I met Marshmallow (our first sleepover everrrrrrrrrrrr) and Malko (our first sleepover everrrrrrrrr) and Casey (his first butter chicken everrrrrrr, and also my first virtual reality experience everrrrrrr) and other friends and I hung out with people I'd ordinarily never talk to and had so much fun and we played dumb charades after so long and I laughed so much and it was basically the best three days of my life since the last time I went home. Which was only last month!!! :D
3. The prologue of this book I read, Let the Great World Spin, which has to be one of the best combinations of words ever to have been written. I read the entire thing out loud, it was that beautiful.
4. A couple of my friends from home came over to see me, and I had the most amazing three days with them (I've had a lot of fun three-day experiences in the recent past, clearly). I finally understood how a staycation can be calming- I was right here, but it felt like a vacation from reality. Not to mention that this was the first time the three of us had properly hung out in about five years, and then first time the three of us were meeting together in about two years. 
5. I went for this event called "Dramatic Reading of Bad Literature," which is exactly what it sounds like, and exactly as painfully funny as you think. 
6. I went for a road trip to Pondi which some friends, and while there we went to a restaurant, one of those places which automatically lift your spirits and make the world seem like a better place (though I suppose an hour spent watching the waves crash on the rocks facilitated that mood as well). We were the only people sitting inside, eating our amazing food and drinking our amazing drinks and laughing and talking, and it was picture-perfect-- and then a Frenchman called David came in and started playing the violin, just for us, and I cannot even describe what it felt like.
7. Season 3 of Once Upon A Time. 

~Sam

February Favourites

Look, alliteration!
I know I'm late, but my internship ended yesterday and I figured I'd write this after wrapping up that part of my life. And maybe because I was lazy. Moving on, this is going to be another stupendously long post, so enjoy!

1. My first favourite leads from my last post (and all my other posts) and is basically Sakhzi's unfailing declaration of love for all my favourites posts. I love doing them, and it's nice to know they're making other people's hearts warm too. ^_^ 
2. As I think I've mentioned, I'm with my aunt for the holidays, and as always, it's been wonderful. I love having a sister in the house, I love being with my aunt, I love having a younger sibling to defend from his evil older sibling. I also love this place and all its cool hangout spots, and winter clothing and boots and coats and scarves and gloves and beanies and hot chocolate- I'm beginning to realize I really like winter when I'm warm. One particularly fond memory is from the night before my aunt's birthday, where she gave me precisely one drop of vodka mixed with half a glass of cranberry juice and asked me to try out her cocktail, and then my cousin and I laughed at her (she has a tendency to talk about taking us drinking, but when it came to it...) and we chilled and talked all evening.
3. This one night (which seems like another lifetime, not just last month) where we went out and I had coffee lava cake (so good!). I was lost over the main course- food courts are not meant for indecisive people like me, usually I just wander in circles looking at all the choices and see which one I can visualize myself eating that night, a process which involves many evocations of "Sam, have you decided yet? Sam, we're leaving. Sam?" One kindly behind-the-counter person saw my plight and decided to step in and help me, and asked me whether I was vegetarian or non-vegetarian. Then he narrowed down my life to precisely two choices of different kinds of chicken, and since one was meant to be shared, I was left with one, and that is what I ate (heads up- harissa chicken? Amazing). He was a godsend, and I firmly believe that every food court should have such decision making angels. One thing I do regret from that night is that he'd asked me to give him feedback, but when I went to tell him his chicken was awesome he was talking to someone and I didn't want to awkwardly disturb him so I thought I'd come back later, but then we left in a hurry and I forgot. :( 
4. Internship! Parts of it sucked- like the freezing cold in the office, and being told by one of the juniors that I needed to be more proactive after an already shitty day of headaches and life sadness, but most of it was absolutely wonderful. I loved the chaos of court, though not so much the waiting; I loved hearing about crazy clients and pointless cases; I loved learning about everything I'd never even have heard of in law school; I loved the bright-eyed thrill of finding the perfect bit of information, or the most fitting case after searching for hours; I loved walking with my long black coat and slight heels and feeling all cool; I loved the car-rides with random conversations, with the beautiful city outside the window- one favourite was when they asked me if One Direction had been my boy band while growing up, and I scoffed at the idea and said no, of course not, Backstreet was my boy band, One Direction only got on the scene when I was like already sixteen and ancient, I'm not that young. And then they all laughed at me, and I smiled too because it cracked the ice a little more- I was pretty awkward for like the first three of my four weeks, and they'd already teased me about being far too scared of them and jumping every time someone called me. This is one of the times I wish I was a little more...proactive, I suppose ( :P ) and a little less awkward, because I could have done a lot more if I'd been less underconfident and shy or whatever the hell I am. Either way, it was an amazing learning experience, and at the end of it I got a sweet note AND MY FIRST STIPEND EVER, and now I don't know what to do with it. 
5. News of Harper Lee's Mockingbird sequel, Go Set A Watchman! I'm slightly less delighted now than I was when I first heard the news- which was met with increasing levels of squealing as we realized first, that there was another book by her, and second that it was a sequel oh sweet mother  A SEQUEL- because of all the mess about whether this was actually done with her free and informed consent or not. So now I don't know how to feel, but ignoring all the mess and focusing just on the book, I AM SO EXCITED. To Kill A Mockingbird is one of my absolute favourite books of all time- to the extent that, as I've written about earlier, my ideal tattoo would be three birds circling on my wrist, a nightingale (because Ode to a Nightingale) and a mockingbird and a bluejay, because this book is life. Which, I know, sets a very high standard for the next one, which adds to the conflicted feelings, but my overwhelming feeling is one of happiness, so this deserves a spot on here. 
6. My favouritest TV show ever started filming this month! Koko went all extra and told us that it was airing this month and we all went wild, until Laani informed us that they were only starting filming- which is still good enough for me. YAYAYAYY!
7. Once Upon A Time is another TV show that I'm beginning to really like (though the second season is largely annoying, but I'm informed that the third is brilliant), to the extent that I want to cosplay as one of its characters for Comic Con. She isn't my favouritest character on the show, but her outfit is cool, so she's my choice as of now. Please pray I find nice, cheap clothes. Also, if I manage to do it, it'll be my first cosplay ever, SO OMG EXCITEMENT.
8. I finally bought Baby Lips, and I love it! Yes, lip balm is a favourite, shut up. I ALSO BOUGHT RED LIPSTICK. FROM SEPHORA. FINALLY. My life is now complete.
9. This one evening when we went to this amazing Italian restaurant, and I had shandy and a sip of beer which wasn't completely disgusting, and, most importantly, baked potato with cheese and chicken!!!! And banofee pie! Both of which I'd been craving 5ever. 
10. A certain annoying friend of mine, Casey, stalked my facebook and brought up embarrassing old posts which left me weeping and laughing at the same time, because omgwhatwasIthinking, but also omgirememberthatmemories!
11. One of the posts that he brought up was one of those chain thingies, where if you liked my status I would tell you my first impression of you, how we met, your best feature, what I like about you, what reminds me of you, my favourite memory of us, a rating of your profile picture, what I think we should do and whether you should post this as your status. Evil as they are, a whole bunch of my friends liked the status, and my kindliness led me to answer all of them, which, again, led me down memory lane and teary smiles. It also led to me making everyone else also put this up as their status, one of which eventually ended in a ~2200 comment thread because we are just that jobless. 
12. I met a couple of my friends, which is always fun, but getting to meet the Chocolate Bomb, thrice, after I don't even know how long, takes the cake. I love her so much, I can't even express it. 
13. BOMBAY. I went there for the competition I'd been researching on/dying over/whining about since October, and despite promising myself I would not put myself through this again, the thrill of actually presenting my work was so great that now I'm considering doing it again, and I don't know how to feel about that. That confusion is for another day, however- first let me rave about Bombay:
1. The sea. How does anyone get any work there? If I lived there, I would just sit by the sea all day and stare out at the water thinking about anything and everything, or just nothing. I did do that one night, chilling by Marine Drive, and it was so...serene.
2. I got to meet Sakhzi! We shopped and talked and ate the most amazing brownies ever made- including a cookie brownie, which is the most amazing creation that can ever be made, with the exception perhaps of a brownie cookie. 
3. The after party, after the competition, the details of which are not appropriate for a public forum, but which, let me just say, was amazing.
4. The beautiful, too small, cupcakes the hosts greeted us with, and the excitement of finally being there after so long. 
5. The fondness I feel for parts of this experience after it is over. Some weird Stockholm Syndrome is at play here, I tell you, I despised everything except the oral presentation while working, and now I suddenly love just about all of it. 
6. Finding sticky notes we'd passed to each other during our rounds, later, and feeling all nostalgic. 
7. Meeting my uncle and aunt after I don't even know how many years.
8. Being a badass rebel and climbing the shoe house (yes, that is what it sounds like) meant for kids under 12 and standing at the balcony and looking out at the pretty gardens and the sea and feeling like a princess, even though in the story the witch built the house to trap kids or whatever. Also, I kind of may have started a rebellion because when I left everyone was clambering all over the shoe, which made me feel all Mockingjay. 
9. Oh, I forgot to mention, I fell in love. One of our alumni took a practice round for us, and he is just the sweetest, smartest and cutest man on the planet, end of discussion. He was adorable, and his house was littered with Calvin and Hobbes cushions. How could anyone resist? This apart, the general sweetness of our seniors in helping us out was very touching, and some of them did a lot more than anyone would have expected. <3
10. Nyancat aka team mommy aka my adoptive room mother. She is a favourite. That is all.
11. One of the many things I liked about this trip was that I wasn't as rule-abiding as I usually am. Under the experienced tutelage of my teammate, we skipped a super-boring event to go to cool fests being held in the city (where we serendipitously stumbled across a most delicious scent of waffles, and eventually the waffles themselves, which we devoured and then we walked and talked and sat and talked and just had a wonderful evening). I then skipped another pointless event to nap, and partially missed another one to hang out with Sakhzi. I chilled at Marine Drive at 2am. I hugged a cute boy and had a bad-Backstreet-Boy singalong with another one. I danced. I laughed. I lived. #drama
14. HOW COULD I FORGET, I COOKED! Pasta! I'd bought the sauce after tasting a free sample while waiting for Bomb to come see me, and then I decided I would make the pasta myself, and I did (with some help)! I have pictures to prove it too! And it was edible! And all of it got eaten! B| Successfully cooking (and also successfully wearing formals every day for a month, which believe me was torture, I think I'm studying for the wrong profession) made me realize that maybe I won't completely fail at adulhood, which was a nice moment. 
15. I made this new friend, RC, and got some amazing music from him. Current favourite: One Headlight, by The Wallflowers. I also got an epic book recommendation which I will read and review as soon as I can get my hands on it.
16. I did a bit of shopping which always lights up the materialist in me- I bought the cutest tiny leather bag which will only carry my phone and some money, which was a size I'd been looking for; and three pairs of pretty earrings and another bag and a few scarves and Spongebob pajamas and a pretty kurti which I currently love and other things I don't remember. 
17. AND NOW I HAVE LEGIT HOLIDAYS FOR ALL OF FIVE DAYS WHEN I CAN CHILL WOOHOO!

Okay, I have to go now. Forgive me for any typos, I haven't been able to proofread, but I need to run and this post is late enough as is. 

Ta!

~Sam

January Favourites

[I've completed an entire year of Monthly Favourites! Wow.]

This month went by fast! I spent a term waiting and hoping for the 2nd of January, and then it finally came- and went- and then it was the 16th- and then it was the 19th- and then it was February, and I'm still spinning from the whirlwind. There are some months where you have to hunt for your favourites, look under table mats and in dusty corners for the tiny things that made you smile in the midst of all the hellishness. And then there are some months were good things just happen to you, where the favourites fling themselves into your arms. This was the second kind of month. I'm just going to go chronologically because I don't know how else to get all of this out.

1. January 2: I've been participating in an activity which occurs in two stages and the first, arguably shittier, stage ended on the 2nd, after months of stress and self-hate and general awfulness. The second stage ends next month, and while I'm pretty much reconciled with it being a total failure, I have a feeling it'll make it onto my favourites anyway, merely by virtue of it being finally over. 
2. January 4: I finally met a lovely old friend of mine, my Clone, we used to call her, because we were so similar and liable to be hyper and overexcited, after a year of being in the same city (we suck, I know). Turns out we're still similar as ever, though, at least in terms of creepily sneaking glances at beautiful extremely well-dressed ethereal women who come sit on the table across from us in a quaint cafe, reading a nice book and possibly crying, possibly waiting for someone, looking like a storybook character nonetheless. Clone had brought me to this amazing, beautiful little cafe with trippy paintings and hanging plants and a peaceful atmosphere, and we were curled up in a corner watching Amelie and eating sandwiches and epic French toast and waiting for our chocolate cake, when she came and sat down. We'd each been sneaking glances at her- there was some aura about her which drew the eye- when Clone pointed her out to me, and then we exclaimed at our creepy similarity and we snuck glances at her together and imagined various reasons why she was here, like this, and what her life was like, and concluded that we both wanted to be her, or at least her friend. Then the couple sitting next to her noticed our creepiness and started glaring judgmentally at us, which was slightly embarrassing, but hello, they had clearly been staring at us too, to have noticed our creepiness? So like, back off? 
3. January 16: The term ended. HALLELUJAH. This has, by far, been the worst term in my academic life so far, and I really hope I never experience a worse one, or anything even close. I still have loads to do all holidays, and won't be free from its clutches until the middle of next month, but still. I thought it would never end, and the countdown to the end was one my favourites this month.
4. This article I read about 36 questions that can make any two people fall in love. The article itself made me smile because it's such a sweet love story, and the idea of the 36 questions themselves (followed by four minutes, I think, of staring each other in the eye, which is a very long time) sounded insanely interesting. This parody piece by the New Yorker, about 36 questions guaranteed to make you fall out of love, wrapped everything up very nicely.
5. Oh! Something else which happened was that my aunt stumbled across this story of mine which I'd sent to a website. The website accepts everything, so this was not a big deal, but she thought it was, and she told my mom, who told my uncle and all her friends, all of whom sent me nice complimentary texts, and it was basically the most embarrassing thing ever. Then I came over to my aunt's place and she bragged about it to all her friends, in response to which I ran away and hid in my room. This is a favourite because compliments are nice, but everything else was mainly just something which makes me want to cover my face and hide (with my ear to the door, so I can hear people saying nice things about me). 
6. Internship. There was a moment where it hit me that I was actually doing work and I was interested in it and I was happy and it was just extremely weird, and extremely awesome. 
7. Okay I think I've delayed this point enough, and it's basically what makes this month such an overwhelmingly favourite-worthy one, so I'll get to it. What basically happened was... I went home. You may remember that I wrote a really emo post a long time ago about moving away from home, from the city I grew up in. I've been back there a few times, for a friend's sister's wedding (my one trip from college with my friends, so much fun, I wish I'd had favourites-posts back then), and my brother's graduation (when I spent a lazy afternoon at Annabanana's place with the Cookie and the Marshmallow (we're big on food-themed nicknames) watching Warm Bodies (or was it Crazy Stupid Love? I think Crazy Stupid Love was the time before that?) and eating subways and talking and laughing and taking timed selfies and failing at taking timed selfies). But I hadn't been back in nearly two years, and after the term I'd had, I really needed to go there. I'd made plans to go back a million times before, and they'd all failed, so it was unbelievably amazing that this one actually worked out, and worked out beyond my wildest expectations. This trip probably deserves a separate post to itself, but eh, I'm already here, and I postponed posting (lulz, postponed posting) so I could include it in my favourites, so please bear with an extra-long post because I'm going to go through each of my favourite elements, in no particular order, in separate points. 
1. The journey. Train journeys to and from college with Doobie had been something we both treasured, and though we realized this trip that we'd only had four or five of them, they were some of the biggest building blocks in our friendship, along with our nightly walks. I was pretty excited to be able to have another journey with her, even though I was also trying to suppress my excitement because I didn't want to jinx everything by being too happy, and I was still terrified that the plan would fail somehow, and we would miss the train (we ended up reaching over an hour early) or the train would get cancelled just because the gods hated me, or something horrible would happen and ruin everything. It didn't, though, and we ended up watching the happy part of the Devil Wears Prada, and then changing to Tangled, which by the way is far too intense for a children's movie. My laptop almost died in the middle, but trusty steed that it is, it stayed alive long enough to let me transfer the movie onto a pen drive and then we continued on Doobie's laptop. I'm just retrospectively going to take this as a sign that everything would be absolutely 100% perfect that glorious weekend. 
2. The MotherCookie. I'm awkward. It's who I am, and I've mostly accepted it. My awkwardness arises mainly around people I'm not close friends with. Classmates, other people's acquaintances whom I'm meeting- I either just shut up entirely apart from greetings and grimace-y smiles, or blab out the wrong thing and internally yell at myself for the rest of the interaction and five years afterward. I'm okay with absolute strangers and my absolute best friends, but horrible with everyone in between those two extremes- especially adults. Sometimes, though, something just clicks between me and the other person, and then my mind starts functioning properly and I can be myself and the world is a happy beautiful place of words and birds. The Cookie had told me that her mother had no awkwardness in an attempt to comfort me when I'd aired my worries earlier, but I'd disregarded her because there was awkwardness in me. Except this time...there wasn't. I spent the weekend living with the Cookie, and her mom and her cousin (and her cat), and I didn't shut up from the moment her mom came to pick me up at the station until the morning I left. I probably jabbered about all of the feelings I have ever felt in my life, and narrated every interesting anecdote I had to narrate, and some not-so-interesting ones, and still the conversation just flowed, and it was beautiful even though I'm pretty sure everyone wanted me to shut up after a point. It was really weird to feel that comfortable around people I'd just met, but it happened, and it was the best thing ever, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. 
3. Ron. Ron is the Cookie's cousin, and probably one of two readers on my blog whom I don't (didn't) know. She writes great stuff over at moronsoriginally and is even awesomer than you would imagine with such an epic pun of a url to be. She's also sweeter than my morning cup of milk, which has approximately five hundred tablespoons of sugar in it. Cookie had told me she was excited to see me, which was a really...weird (also awesome) feeling, because it's weird having someone be a fan of your work, especially when your work basically consists of you talking (whining) about your feelings? But anyway, despite what Cookie told me I was in no way to prepared to be met by the human-shaped bundle of happiness and good energy that Ron is. Cookie left us alone when she went to take a shower, and I internally shot daggers at her because WHY WAS SHE LEAVING ME ALONE TO STUTTER AWKWARDLY WITH THIS PERSON I'D JUST MET SHOWERS ARE ENTIRELY OVERRATED AND SHE DID NOT HAVE TO TAKE ONE. But instead of staring intently at the wall, we chattered nonstop, about writing and dream jobs and life, and again, it was like we'd known each other forever. Did I mention that she got me a present, and wrote me the sweetest note and words of encouragement that have ever been written? She is a real person and not a sugar fairy though, so she has since also  been amazingly sarcastic and evil and I'm sure she would poke me with a spoon if I was around there, but she also wrote that she would share her apple crumble with me (along with more insanely sweet things that I cannot even try tocompete with STOP BEING SO AWESOME), and you'd better bet I'm going to hold her to that. :D Also, her spaghetti and meatballs were amazing. That is all. 
4. The Cat. (Not to be confused with the Cat I've mentioned earlier, who is an actual person whom I'm friends with. This was literally a cat.) She followed me around everywhere and lurked in the corners and behind curtains and stared at me in a mixture of fear and dominance. The thing that made me connect with her on a deep spiritual level, though, was when she snuggled under the covers and slept for eight straight hours. In the day. As a nap. I don't sleep that much across two nights in college. She is officially my idol. I also eventually managed to pet her the night before I left (which was also the night after I arrived, I wish weekends were longer) before she ran away and glowered at me from a shelf. She had the softest fur and I would like a pet now please, thank you.
5. The Entry. Hugging the Cookie on her bed is definitely in my Top Ten Most Fulfilling Moments in life. We had waited and dreamed and hoped and planned for so long, and it finally actually happened, and it was magical.
6. The Surprise(s). Nobody else knew I was coming, and may I just tell you that surprising your friends with a visit is the most fulfilling thing ever? Marshmallow squealed and hurled herself at me and asked "What is even happening?!" for ten minutes straight. Laani took a step back and swore and jabbed me (hard) in the forehead. Koko blinked and threw questions at me like I was competing for the Koffee Hamper. (So many similes in this post.) It was basically awesome to cause so much happiness.
7. Breakfast with two other friends, at a childhood haunt where I ordered my childhood favourite staple.
8. Lunch with another friend, whom I don't keep in constant touch with, but that never seems to matter because whenever we meet we talk nonstop for a few hours and are all caught up and it's like we never parted.
9. Buying my pretty scarf with birds on it!!!
10. Late night talking about feelings with the Cookie.
11. Sleeping on a mattress on the floor!!!!
12. Just. Being home, and existing in the same physical space as almost all of my most favourite people in the world. There are some dreams that are so beautiful, you don't want to ruin them by bringing them to reality because what reality could match up to the world inside your head? But then there are some realities which surpass even your wildest dreams. Thank you, home, for being so good to me.

Love,

~Sam