Why Facebook Pisses Me Off

ughbbbbbbvddgdhhjjj. Those were the actual noises I made while sitting up from my regular slouching position. I was rewarded with a fresh dosage of cramps from my morning workout. I woke up before 2 p.m. today, so that's an accomplishment.

 Something that really bothers me is social network conversations. You're pretty good friends and post on each others walls; I can try and understand that, even though I don't particularly enjoy engaging via such methods. I mean, it's called "Social Networking" right? It is not your planner. Now don't get me wrong, there it is absolutely okay to post a picture of yourself and caption it with fun things once in a while, but seriously there's a limit.
 So if you're really good friends with someone, and you talk everyday, I would assume that it gets tedious to converse through Facebook and that you must have exchanged phone  numbers at some point. You were friends for years, you have their number, SO WHY DON'T YOU TEXT THEM ABOUT YOUR PLANS INSTEAD OF DISCUSSING THEM ON FACEBOOK. I honestly don't understand this. It's like they NEED to let everyone know their plans. "Text me omg I need to tell you something so bad!" *Annoyed laugh* See now THIS-this really pisses me off. For fucks sake just text them about it. Are you that socially dependent to let everyone know? I DON'T WANT TO SEE HOW YOUR CONVERSATIONS LOOK LIKE ON FACEBOOK THAT'S WHY THEY INVENTED PHONES OR EVEN INBOXES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Yes, inboxes. If you absolutely must use Facebook to exchange conversations for some reason, inbox please. 
  If I were to voluntarily follow a blog, then it's acceptable, but I honestly do not want to see by the minute updates on Facebook. Don't get all hate mode on me saying "People can do what they want..blah blah blah"; yes they can. But that doesn't mean you don't owe it to yourself and the world to be the most reasonable(intelligent) version of yourselves so that you can effectively manage your social networks in a manner that isn't unpleasant.  I follow you on twitter to receive updates. Even if it is by the second. That is fine, because I-ME- chose to follow you. Just don't do it on Facebook? I don't want to unfriend 100 of you. I don't want to be mean, I really don't(Okay, I try not to anyway). So please, use the social media wisely. Don't be that person.

Nostalgia

Facebook is such an effortless scrapbook, no? It shows so well how the present turns to the past, and the past turns to memories, so ephemeral, so seamless. And the parts of our life that are on there are so happy, so joyous. It's like it just takes your real life and distills all the crap and and the stress and the tension and the ugliness, so that all you're left with is well-framed happiness and laughter and hugs. And joy. Plain, simple, posed smiles. With a few glimpses of real happiness, which just adds luster and depth to the whole thing.


I wish I could relive the past year, as facebok sees and shows it.

~Sam

This is how our baby was born.

"Baby" obviously referring to this esteemed blog that you're looking at right now.

So if you've ever wondered how a Grammar Nazi and a chick who hates proofreading landed up writing a blog together, wonder no more! For this is how it happened:
Malko: You should listen to Breakeven.
Me: By?
Malko: The Script.
*some sort of confusion*
Malko: YOU'VE NEVER HEARD THE SCRIPT BEFORE?
Me: Of course I have! You're the one who introduced me to them!
Malko: Oh yeah. Of course. I'm awesome. XD *after a moment* You're awesome, too. Webeawesome.
Me: webeawesome! @hotmail.com. Future email id for queries about our awesome bestseller book.
Malko: Yeah! OR...we could blog! WE SHOULD TOTALLY BLOG!
Me: YES! Yes yes yes yes YES!

Fin. (Because that's so much better than "The End").



And if you ever wondered how a Grammar Nazi and a depressed emo chick became friends in the first place: Thus is the combined power of facebook and Dan Bergstein.


And yes, this is the totally awesome 100th post we promised you guys. Totally anticlimactic, right? *looks vaguely apologetic*



~Sam

Urine tests are so misogynistic.

Seriously. I bet a guy designed those. No woman would ever subject her fellow beings to such torment. If God meant us to aim, he would have made us that way, is all I'm saying.

 I'll stop now.

In other news, I'm still sick. Ergo rambling and urine and blood tests. (I am not scared of needles, okay? I just have an completely natural dislike of sharp pointy things poking into important veins. Or was that arteries? Ugh, tenth grade Bio. I knew I should've paid more attention.)

Anyway. What was I saying? Oh yeah. Sick. So much time on my hands. So I decided to fiddle with timeline because fever turns me into a facebook troll and I was getting bored with facebook the way it was right then. And..I liked it! I know Zuckerberg is kind of like a dictator sometimes, shoving all these changes down our throats whether we want them or not, but you gotta admit the man is a genius. Facebook seems new and interesting all over again, just when it was starting to get stale. Stalking yourself is such a novel experience! Though its painful seeing how dumb you were once-but then you again you can also see how not-dumb you (hopefully) are now, which dulls the sting a bit. And it looks so nice, after you've stared at it for five hours! 

...

I'm out of things to say but I don't want to go away. But I'm making a concentrated effort not to make a fool of myself when not absolutely necessary, so I'll sign off now. I leave you with this awesome song, and the advice to ignore the video unless you're one of those self-actualized people with no body issues/have a 23 inch waist-line.

~Sincerely hoping that was coherent, Sam.