Hate and Love

Hate. It's such a strong word, isn't it? So much stronger than love. Think of Hitler. Think of aggression, of wrath, of the violent father's fury, of seething jealousy. Think of anger, of a human scorned, think of sore egos and nurtured scores. Think of the storm, wiping everything in its path. How could anything withstand the forceful tsunami of hate?

Then think of love. Think of the boy in the striped pyjamas. Think of childhood, think of innocence, of forgiveness and acceptance, of a mother's healing hand, of embracing the good in others and in yourself. Think of trust, of wounds healed and scars faded, of the waves washing all that is ill and all that is good into the past and leaving clean sand. Rejuvenating, regenerating, rebirthing. A renaissance. Think of second chances and a stranger's smile. Think of the birds rebuilding, think of the bud peeping through after everything has been wiped out. How could anything resist the gentle persuasion of love?

~Sam

The Need-Dislike Ratio

There is a need-dislike ratio that exists in all of our brains. It's something like this:
How much you like someone, determines how much you're willing to do when they need you.
Alternatively, how much you're willing to ask of a person also depends on how much you like them.
Hence, if you absolutely, jaw-droppingly, ground-breakingly adore someone, then you'll be there for them at 6 in the am when you haven't slept all night and you're in a different city and your brain is numb and your body isn't functioning, because that's just what you think they deserve.
And if you don't like them, well that extra five minutes of sleep goes back to being the most precious thing in the world. Similarly, you'd depend on someone in the first situation; in the second, you'd rather starve than ask for a crumb.

I don't know what the point of this post is. It's late and I should sleep.

~Sam

I hate. (Now without the four letter words)

Warning: The following post is (UPDATE: used to be) filled with profanity, angst, profanity, hatred and profanity. I don't usually condone swearing, or like it, but extreme provocation (read: a pointless exercise conducted in a very pissed-off sun, coupled with stress and PMS) provides for extremely provoked language. Anyway, read at your own discretion and for God's sake don't leave messed up comments for me.


I hate. I hate the sun, the fact that its a frickin hundred degrees outside, the fact that the stupid weather is so stupidly annoying.
I hate people, stupid, empty, meaningless, shallow, superficial people with no consideration for others, who can't even do the  jobs they're paid to do properly.
I hate yelling. I hate having to yell. I hate stupid dumb blank stares with the heat rushing through your veins. I hate blinding red hot rage.I hate that I'm talking like this.
I hate traffic jams and fifteen minute jobs taking one and a  half hours.
I hate the fact that the hot dog and momo stand behind my house shut and went away.
 I hate the fact that people are so hard to read, so hard to trust. I hate that perfect freaks don't exist in my universe.
I hate the internet screwing with me.
I hate prying stranger-acquaintances.
I hate short tempered hormonal women. I hate being a short tempered hormonal woman. I ' hate hormones.
I hate that the stupid drummer next door doesn't realize that there are people living near by who can hear him who have lives which they'd rather live without a constant bang bang bang as background music. I hate the fact that he doesn't even have the courtesy to be freakin' hot if he's going to be drumming away all the time.
I hate work, sleep deprivation, expectations, judgement, all that jazz.
I hate anger and slamming doors and loud voices.
I hate that I have to password protect everything just to get some privacy. (Okay, that's not exactly true, but whatever. UPDATE: That is now true.).
I hate the words "everything is fine". I hate people who ask you how you are when they don't give a damn about anything except their stupid new car or whatever. I hate stupid social conventions.
I hate the fact that people make stuff up in their head about you without knowing a thing about your life. I hate the fact that when you say you're worried they don't understand that you're worried.
"Oh Sam? Yeah, she's fine, just perfect. What does she have to get scared about?" I hate that.
I hate the fact that I'm so unsure of everything. 
I hate the fact that society thinks that women are some fragile little flowers that need to be protected all the frickin' time. I hate the fact that half the people who think that about their women are the ones who go fuck with other women. I hate the stupid, hypocritical world that we live in. I hate that the sunshine and rainbows are so overshadowed by the stress and mud.
I just..hate. And I hate that I hate.

~Sam

Winter -Updated

Okay, this blog is getting wayy too depressing/serious/unawesome. Jeez, I never knew I was such a drama queen! Anyway, we'll do something about that soon, promise, but for now hopefully this will revive your spirits a little bit, though this is another one of those posts that I'm posting just because its in my head and I'm desperate to write something. So sorry and all, we'll try becoming awesome again as soon as inspiration strikes!

In other news, we're 99! :D

Anyway, moving on..

"Wintry" is pretty much one of my favorite adjectives of all time. I love the way it sounds, the way it falls off your tongue, the image it creates in your mind, the harsh beauty it has. For similar reasons, I love 'winter', too.

But I hate winter. The freezing, the laziness it induces, the having to get out of my warm blankets in favor of a cold bathroom, the numbness, the perpetually cold fingers and feet. I hate it, I detest it, I wish it never happened. The worst thing is winter sounds so good-the warm evenings by a fire, the snowfall, the hot chocolate and good books/movies. The love, the cuddling together, the Christmas cheer. Unfortunately, things are rarely as pleasant as they seem in books. My winters are usually something like this:

*alarm rings*
*snooze*
*do that for about half an hour*
*finally wake up, and lay fantasizing under the warm blankets*
*eventually decide to get out of bed and face the big bad world*
*get out of bed*
*immediately regret the decision*
*consider getting back in*
*decide to brave it out (or, alternatively, to get back in, in which case I'm usually late and have a horrible morning)*
*shuffle slowly towards bathroom, which is currently as appealing as a dirty dank dungeon*
*try to prolong the journey for as long as possible*
*grab the brush on the way--no, I don't keep my brush in the bathroom, ever since that whole thing. I don't care if its not confirmed, this is one place where I don't mind being extra-careful*
*stare hatefully at the tap*
*gather up my courage and rinse my toothbrush, doing my best to keep my fingers as far away from the water as possible*
*finish brushing, etc, cursing the world the whole time (or composing in my head blog posts which will never see the light of day, or singing "We Shall Overcome" to myself and trying to pep myself into a shower)*

And the rest of the day is pretty much the same.

So you see why I have a problem.



I'm out of words now, so I'll go away. Again, we're hoping to get interesting again soon, and feel free to comment!


Love and all.
~Sam





Hi! Malko here! If you're wondering why I'm sharing the post with Sam, it's because I wanted to save the 100th post for something awesome. Well, awesomer than our regular posts.
So Sam here just described how her mornings go. If you found that amusing, i'm sure you'll enjoy reading my daily agenda.

*alarm rings at 6 AM*
*hit snooze and happily go back to sleep knowing that I have more time to sleep*
*what seems to be a moment later..*
Mom: "Get up! Don't you have work to do?" *death glare*
*get off the bed*
*die inside like I lost the love of my life (the love being my blanket and wondrous comfy  bed)*
*sleepily brush teeth*
*check phone and reply to texts and facebooks*
*procrastinate*
*procrastinate with book in front of my face*
*procrastinate by staring a spot on a page and then turning it to stare at another spot*
*breakfast*
*procrastinate*
*shower*
*lunch and GLEE(spoiler: FINN PROPOSES TO RACHEL!)/ ONE TREE HILL/SUPERNATURAL/HIMYM*
*try to work. fail*
*wait for mom to leave the house and then go back to watching t.v shows*
*determinedly try to work, but get distracted on sparknotes (obviously)*
*dinner*
*procrastinate*
*succumb to blissful slumber*

Oh and in case you're wondering what distracted me on sparknotes, its THIS.