God

This post has been in the waiting for a long time. I keep thinking I want to do it, then decide against it, then consider doing it, then reconsider the reconsideration, and so on.
I figured I'd just do it and get it over with. [Plus, I have a lot of work to do and I'm running out of reasonable methods of procrastination.]
The thing is, this Calvin and Hobbes strip pretty much covers everything I feel.

Calvin's is a valid concern. And it's one of the reasons I love Calvin and Hobbes so much. Like I've said multiple times about John Green (writer, vlogger and human being extraordinairre), the words are so unassumingly profound. Funny, too, but also surprisingly deep at times, particularly for a comic strip.
I believe God exists. I want to believe, I hope that God exists. Because I have to. Not because some religion forces it upon me, but because life makes no sense without God. I suppose one could say that life can be profound and meaningful even without a higher presence. That Man is a means and an end in himself.

But that's so..empty. I need some sort of higher power to pray to, to give me hope to deal with the inevitable, to deal with what I can't change.
To believe in.


At least I think I do.


~Sam

Thoughts

Some thoughts are like the phone when a friend calls you and forgets to cut the line when she’s done. You can try as much as you want, but you just can’t cut the call. Can’t sever the connection, can’t get rid of it.

I still haven’t managed to write down, or quite compose my views on God, but I think I’m an agnost. Not an atheist, not a believer; an agnost. Why? Because I apparently revel in indecision, that’s why. It’s like, my natural state of existence: Undecided.

You know what else is my natural state of existence? Guilty. If Barney has an extra awesome gland instead of tear glands, I have guilt glands instead of…every gland.
Talk while the sweet new teacher is teaching? Guilt.
Be a bitch about a bitch? Guilt.
Be generally PMS-y and bitchy? (Albeit belated) Guilt.
Forget to thank Random Guy who gave me directions? Hang up too quick on my mum? Instant guilt.
Skive off on a job? Get yelled at? Let loose the guilt gates.

Yeah, you get the point.

~Sam