Where are you?

I'm there for you,
Always. (Almost.)
You're here for me,
Sometimes. (When?)
You speak, I listen.
I speak- you speak.
I walk around,
Alone.
Texting my sorrows
Away
To long distant ears
Who listen, when I speak.
Where are you,
When I need you?
Where are you,
When I'm the only one here to hold me?
Where are you,
When you don't need me?

Is it unfair of me,

To judge you by my standard?

You are different,

I know.

We are all different.

But where are you,
When I need you?

~Sam

Despondent

I don't even have anything to say,
Just a feeling of sadness which won't go away.
Juvenile rhymes give me a moment of gladness,
But even my closest friends can't stem this sadness.
Like a wave it crashes over me,
Like the sea it just gets to me.

It's silly, the reason this started at all,
But isn't that always the way sadness falls?
I'm lonely, I'm inadequate, I'm stupidly insecure,
And all my friends are on far distant shores.
The despondency just crashes over me.
Indomitable as the ocean, it just gets to me.

Bad.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it arrogant, bad to believe you're a good person,
Or but natural?
Don't challenge the universe, I tell people.
Don't ask, "What's the worst that could happen?"
I don't challenge the universe, I don't ask.
The worst happens.
Be good, be nice, don't jinx it. Touchwood.
It's jinxed anyway.

Why do bad things happen all together?
One, then another, then another-
Perhaps it will end now, maybe dawn will come now-
But no, darkness continues its reign,
Intensifies further,
Till you forget there ever was light.
Good vanquished by bad,
Like eraser on pencil-
Nay, worse, like fire on paper-
Not a trace of the beauty of the pencilled words
Left behind.


~Sam

I blame the movies.

I blame the movies. The movies and the books, but I can't hate my beloved books so I'm just going to lay all the blame on the movies. For showing me pretend, fantasy and making me believe, wish that it was real. For screwing up my life by setting such high standards of what a scripted reality can be like, and for making me forget that that's just what it is: scripted. Not real. Never real.
~Sam