Disequilibrium

~Super rough draft which probably should not be published without more work, but who am I kidding, I'm not going to improve this later when the feel is gone.~

Fat people are yearning to lose,
Thin people wouldn't mind a bit of gain.
Corporate lawyers want freedom and passion-
Struggling artists money, warmth, a roof.
White people want that gorgeous tan,
Coloured people just want to bleach it away.
Guys want to be able to cry,
Girls want to be able to walk alone at night.
Tall people want to be petite,
Short people want to grow some more.
Blonde wants to be brown, brown red,
And red just about anything else.

They tell us we should be happy with who we are,
But nobody wants to be who they are.
You could smush everyone together,
Cancel out all the insecurities and make that perfect girl,
But even she wouldn't want to be who she was.

~Sam

Funny

Funny how quickly we get used to things,
The atmosphere of deceit and pretense,
The new classroom,
The new year.
It's only when you realize you've been writing the year as 2011 for days now,
Lost in an inattentive haze, that you notice how much has changed.
How much you've got used to.
Funny how we are all unique,
And all uniform-
How unaccommodating the world is to anyone truly unique,
To anyone different, abnormal.
To a long-haired man.
Funny how intensely private I am about my writing,
Even as I hope the world sees it.
And funny how one of the most common blessings around here
Translates literally to "keep living."
Because isn't that the most difficult thing of them all.

____

Insecurity.
The way you pull down your shirt as you stand to leave,
Chin up, eyes down, lips pursed. Unseeing.
Insecurity.
The way you eyes touch the ground softly,
Harden against others' faces.
Defensive against an attack which hasn't even been considered.
Insecurity.
Nose in a book, shunning them before they can shun you,
Ignoring the happy chatter you didn't even try to be invited to.
Insecurity.
The way you're the first to laugh at yourself,
When that much-awaited attack does come.

The way you cut yourself,
Before they can cut you.


~Sam