Here's a little thing I wrote a while ago. One day, I hope to make it part of a story.
Sam and Malko. Reluctantly realistic, desperately optimistic. This is our place of feels, favourites, and really bad poetry.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
A Description
Here's a little thing I wrote a while ago. One day, I hope to make it part of a story.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Inertia of the Mind
And yes, I know three years isn't very long, but it's so very long, you know?
Time is weird.
~Sam
Saturday, November 9, 2013
I remember.
I remember going to buy chips with my brother, and dropping a packet on the road. The awe in my eyes at his courage (stupidity) in making his way through the (albeit light) traffic to pick it up again. He was the wisest, the bravest man ever, back then.
I remember believing adults at face value. Believing them to be stronger, wiser, better.
I remember the first time I (vaguely) understood death, and life.
I remember my first concert, my first Enid Blyton, I remember having fixed ideas of the normal and the abnormal. Having role models because they did one good thing. Seeing the world in black and white and technicolor, but not gray.
Definitely not gray.
~Sam
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Will There be Fire?
What burning thoughts flame my inner fire?
Is there a fire, is there desire?
Or has it gone out in this daily quagmire
Of routine and work, sunken hopes and dying dreams.
So all that is gone which once burst from my seams,
So all that is gone which once burned in my eyes-
Fires and desires smothered in implacable ice.
I drown in poetry, I dream of Literature,
And yet, "Get down to Earth," snaps my law teacher.
Was it the right choice, will I ever know?
Will the fruits of taking the safer path ever show?
A glint in the eye, the sigh of a desired job well done-
Will passion and flame ever my insides burn?
Or will it forever be hopeless fatigue's turn?
Will there be fire, will there be desire?
~Sam
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Never meet
~Sam
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
In flux.
We wait.
Wanting here, yearning there.
We wait.
Here in the waiting room,
Of life.
For life.
---
We are the tormented novelists,
Not the protagonists.
Suffering, creating brilliance,
Not guaranteed of a happy ending.
~Sam
Monday, September 16, 2013
Peace and Poignance
Simple things, daily things.
The leaf lying on the grey road,
Unremarkable, old,
And yet I want to take a picture.
The tilted bench against the brick house,
The grown puppy teetering around the door.
Nothing new.
All routine sights,
And yet, I want to capture them all.
-----
Just a mood.
When your mind is scattered,
Unfocused, adrift,
A certain sadness hanging,
In the dusty shelves that comprise it.
Just a mood.
When you can wander every-any direction,
Direct your steps here,
Then there, at anyone's beck,
And call.
Just a mood.
When you're peaceful,
Not worried, not thinking,
Just looking and seeing.
At one with the world.
At once away from it.
-----
Why is it associated with sadness,
That peace,
That comes with calm,
That comes with acceptance,
That comes but so rarely in our existence?
Why is it associated with sadness,
That emptiness,
That connection,
Which comes with nature,
Which drains and nurtures?
Why is it associated with sadness,
That bliss,
That emotion,
That for which we have no name.
That for which we have no name.
~Sam
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Dancing in the Shadows
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Be happy.
Things will always be wrong, things will always be right. Heal the bad, be happy for the good.
Be happy.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Issues
Something I've realized as I've grown older: there are issues everywhere you look. Every single act is propelled by a philosophy, whether you realize it or not. Feminism, religion, nationalism, liberalism. Ideas, issues, philosophies. They permeate not only politics and college classrooms, but everything. The reason you're okay/not okay with the weird girl being weird. The reason your mother doesn't work. The reason it's okay/not okay for your brother to wear pink. The reason being gay is a big deal/not a big deal. The reason you can/can't get a haircut. The reason that music video is okay/not okay. The reason you follow/don't follow the rules. Every single opinion of yours.
Reflects your philosophy.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Another "Things I've Thought" Post
- People's lives are very different from what they appear to be.
- Everyone is a freakshow. Everyone.
- Sometimes, it is just that simple.
- Sometimes it's not.
- Let things be okay. What we feel and how happy we are is a choice we make.
- "Just do it" isn't always the best idea.
- It isn't always the worst idea, either.
- Thinking solves things. Sometimes, it complicates them.
- Making decisions solves things.
- We have more control over our lives than we think we do. Some things are more difficult to control-but in the end, they can be controlled.
- Let things go.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
The Capacity to Survive
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Why is wisdom so unfun?
~Sam
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
I have a dream.
Monday, August 5, 2013
The Quantification of Need
Saturday, August 3, 2013
To Be Or Not To Be And All That Jazz
[Like, written-in-three-minutes-in-the-middle-of-an-unrelated-conversation impromptu.]
We alternated stanzas. I'm the hopeful one.
To be or not to be,
To love or not to love,
To laugh or not to laugh,
To live or not to live,
When it all ends in tears.
It seems so difficult,
So impossible even to imagine,
That it could be easy.
But it can be easy.
I tried my best,
Opened my heart to a world of hope,
But all I got was a world of pain,
Can you blame me when I wonder
Whether to be or not to be?
But some days it gets better.
Some days I can see.
The shining letters dancing,
Screaming, "Be, be, be!"
~Sam
Thursday, August 1, 2013
A period-less post.
Does a period-less post remain a true period-less post if there are capitals and punctuation and paragraphs and maybe I'm not as good at this as I thought
Buzzfeed just posted a picture of a hedgehog in a sombero and wow it's at times like these that I'm glad the internet exists though I've basically just been ugh about it lately because wow there's a lot of stuff on the internet it just drags you in you know no okay it's just me then
I'm really sorry I just don't think I can write anymore I don't know what's wrong with me oh yes I do laziness and writer's block
I can't believe I'm actually going to publish this it's totally going to come back and bite me but ah well
~Sam
Saturday, July 27, 2013
If only I were capable of managing time.
"Why must sleep and work be so mutually exclusive,
For me?"
"Well, if only you could manage time,
They wouldn't be!"
"If I were to manage time, ha!
I could rid the world of cancer.
Then I would be rich and famous,
Live a life fulfilled and joyous.
Know all the right men and women,
Even my beloved, Hugh Jackman!
And with Hiddelston, the Tom,
Get the Cookie on!
Oh what a life would be mine,
If only I were able to manage time!"
~Sam
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
I wish I was a bit of bubblewrap.
Protecting things precious,
But more desired than them all.
Light and soft and easy to bear,
But with aeons of joy in each bubble of air.
Evincing a child's focused delight in all,
Calming and soothing and easing all cares.
Never quite over, no matter how much you tear.
Always, always with a bit of love to spare.
~Sam writing like the five year old she is at heart
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
The times before you knew to lie.
To keep your mouth smiling shut, your head down.
Before the sounds of screaming and fighting,
Became such a part of your life.
Do you remember?
Being shaken in the middle of the night.
Your brother couldn't witness it alone.
Your mother with a lit match to her clothes,
Your father laughing on the bed in front.
Do you remember?
"Mum!" Reaching out to save her.
The horror dawning in her contorted face,
As she realized what she would have left behind,
Whom she would have left them with.
Do you remember?
The years passing by,
With uneasy smiles and risky lives.
Abandonment and anger,
Misery and regret.
Do you remember?
His hand exploding across your face,
His eyes fastened on yours,
The fear clenching your guts,
His clap thundering around the room.
Do you remember?
Your mother and brother rushing in,
(enough was enough),
The relief in your blood,
The rage rushing through your veins,
While your mouth remained paper dry.
Do you remember?
The screams screaming what you never knew.
The blur of rushing away,
The burn of seeing him again.
The haze of packing and leaving.
Do you remember?
The post-traumatic peace.
The feeling of love,
And the remnants of hate.
Fear and comfort, rage and relief, smiles and sorrow.
Do you remember?
Floating in a new life,
Lost and unsure,
Safe and unsafe,
Until that decision was made.
That enough, was enough.
~Sam
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
Opinions
Opinions matter. Opinions reflect perspectives, and perspectives matter immensely. It’s easy to say that someone has the wrong opinion-that wanting to kill a lot of people for a cause is the wrong opinion, since you don’t think that is a valid cause, or you don’t believe violence achieves anything-but that judgment is still an opinion. And to the other person, their opinion is still valid.
It's opinions which shape the world. People don’t decide based on an ‘objective’ understanding of the situation and the most rational solution. (What is objectivity, what is rationality?) They choose their understanding and their solution, whether they understand that or not. Terrorists don’t believe they’re doing wrong (I would assume)-they are simply trying to fix what they perceive as a problem in what they perceive is the most effective way. The same way freedom fighters do, or the goverment, or the police.
So when you raise someone with an opinion-think about what you’re unleashing into the world.
~Sam
Friday, May 31, 2013
Today, I understand.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Questions
Wait a minute-II.
Stop doing. Stop thinking. Stop.
Look. Look at the people around you. Don't just see. Look.
Think about where they're going, what they're doing.
Think about the billions of people in the world thinking and doing. Or the millions in your city.
Think about how big the world is. Think about how small your world is. How big, and how small, your problems are.
And then go on.
~Sam
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Wait a minute
If dolphins have very few natural enemies...and are also the only creature apart from humans who have sex for fun...why aren't there more dolphins in the world?
~Sam
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Writing
Well, of course you've written, papers and projects and other people's paraphrased words.
But you haven't written.
It itches at you, the feeling of not writing. Like a scratchy mat against your heart, a dryness in your mouth and throat. A haze behind your eyes.
You haven't written for a while.
Haven't paid attention to the letters being tapped on the keyboard, haven't cared much about the placing, the perfectness of the word.
The keys stare at you, blank, empty. Not judging, but you feel judged. Why haven't you written?
You write. You look at the keys, still blank, still empty, but happy, smiling. You look at the letters being typed out even though you don't need to. You lose yourself in the black and the white, the thoughts crystal clear, distinct, so different from the blur of when you actually have a story to say, have words to set on paper, to screen.
Because you don't have anything to write, you see. You just want to.
Need to.
~Sam
Friday, April 26, 2013
Rape Rant
A lot of countries imprison sexual offenders. Some countries even proclaim a death penalty for rape. Not India. They fuss and create a spectacle of an incident through the media, but in the end, they run free. After the Delhi gang rape, the Indian Government passed an ordinance in which a death penalty is applied only when the rape leads to the death of the victim of persistent vegetative state. Wow. So basically they're measuring the intensity of the damage done. It's not something that can be measured! Either way, it's still horrific and traumatic.
Only a few sexual assaults are reported. How many unknown, unreported incidents? They happen every day. In not only India, but other countries. Quite a few counties take extreme measures against rape. India has begun framing laws only now. Really? REALLY? Even if the required laws are frame(if ever), it is the job of the offenders to get their perverted thoughts in line. I think what India is really afraid of is that once they declare a death penalty for rape, the population of India will decrease considerably. That wouldn't be that bad after all. Just saying.
P.S. The above words may be a little harsh, but that is my opinion and life is harsh.
Update from Sam: For the record, I don't agree with all of that up there.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Something
Long and dark,
Sheathing the earth,
In their noon-time dusk.
The moon has a glow,
Low and shining,
Guiding the lovers,
Off on their horse.
The wind has billows,
Loud and tumultuous,
Shielding the playing child,
As his mother cries.
The sea has waves,
Soft and sweet,
A soothing balm,
Cleansing all sorrows.
~Sam
Something impulsive I came up with watching the clouds cover the town, on my flight. Just writing for the sake of writing. It isn't very good, but it's been a while.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
What is it about the rain that makes you remember?
Also available on her own blog: http://doubt-thou-the-stars-are-fire.blogspot.in/2014/06/what-is-it-about-rain-that-makes-you.html
____
I am sitting by the window. It is raining and I can feel the drops of water on my face. As a drop trickles down my face and falls on my hand, memories of a time long forgotten, a childhood, not that far back yet so unreachable, flood my mind. A sudden flashback of running through the front garden and getting drenched in the rain in one of the many old British-style houses that I lived in fills my mind vividly. Then another image, of my mother shouting at me asking me to come back.
What is it about rain that always makes you sift through all those past memories that in the humdrum of daily life become repressed in your subconscious?
Hailstones! The initial excitement of listening to the exaggerated pitter-patter on the roof as tiny lumps of ice fall on the ground. Running to the front verandah to collect the ice faster than my brother. Image after image of those days, long past. Of innocence, long gone. Of hope, long forgotten. Memories.
A song comes to my mind. The song that was playing in the background when I shared an umbrella with my first crush. I can almost feel my heart thundering, the way it had thundered for those few precious stolen moments. Anticipation tugs at my heart. And a certain melancholy. A sudden yearning to go back into those days of sweet innocence, of glorious horizons and endless possibilities, of happy dreams. Falling asleep near my mother. Playing with my brother. Not knowing the feeling of apprehension. Where future is a bright happy place.
What is it about rain that makes you remember?
~Vowel-less
Rain, a cut and a bandaid.
Darkened tar on the roads
Offsets the bright fallen leaves.
The cold wind hurls rain at my face
Through space and sorrow and fluid green trees.
A cut and a conversation are the cherry on top,
And a bandaid and a childhood cure make my joy complete.
(Yes, I have an irrational fascination with small wounds and bandaids.)
~Sam
Friday, April 12, 2013
Open Doors: A Short Story
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Crush
[It went away.]
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Overcomplicated
Why are things so unnecessarily complicated? Why is it such an issue for me to skip a day of work to visit a friend in a nearby city? Why do pointless societal rules stop me from following my dreams? Why do they dictate aspects of my life which concern no one but me?
We live for so little time. Why can't we just do what we want, when it doesn't hurt anyone? Why do such tiny, basic things have to have so much thought involved, so many ramifications?
Why can't we just live?
~Sam
Liberty, my ass.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Sometimes, I'm afraid of having the wrong opinion.
I think that's partly why I'm so indecisive.
~Sam
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Hate and Love
Then think of love. Think of the boy in the striped pyjamas. Think of childhood, think of innocence, of forgiveness and acceptance, of a mother's healing hand, of embracing the good in others and in yourself. Think of trust, of wounds healed and scars faded, of the waves washing all that is ill and all that is good into the past and leaving clean sand. Rejuvenating, regenerating, rebirthing. A renaissance. Think of second chances and a stranger's smile. Think of the birds rebuilding, think of the bud peeping through after everything has been wiped out. How could anything resist the gentle persuasion of love?
~Sam
Friday, March 29, 2013
Transient Beauty
"I havent seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself
Wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen
And beautiful
And dancin away with my heart."
-Dancing Away With My Heart, Lady Antebellum
Human relationships are all so bittersweet, no? All moments in human life, in general, actually. And since life mostly consists of relationships...
I mean. Everything passes. That's an unalterable fact. The person may stay (though they usually don't, stupid globalisation), but that one beautiful moment will pass. There will be more moments, but not that one. Memories capture them to some extent, but that just adds to the bittersweetness of the whole experience, of all experience. Transience adds value-short lived things are the most treasured, shooting stars the most loved- but it also makes your heart hurt.
And you don't want things to be permanent, even when you do, because they won't be the same if they don't pass. Like in Shrek 3. Even the most perfect day lived over and over again can become imperfect. And I guess it's better to have a short, beautiful experience, than to make it stretch and ruin it.
But how do you stop wanting it to last forever? How do you make your heart understand that it's better this way, that life is a collection of sweet moments, not sweet forevers, that leaving some joys behind makes way for new ones, that farewells make way for reunions?
~Sam
There is so much to know in this world, and so little time to know it.
So much to see. Vienna and Paris and Egypt and Nigeria and Angola and Prague and Iran and London and New York and...everywhere.
So much to hear. So many, many songs, so much music I haven't even discovered yet.
So much to experience.
~Sam
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Right Here, Right Now.
Currently Obsessed with Here Comes A Regular by The Replacements, Open by Rhye, Babe I'm Gonna Leave You by Led Zeppelin
Current Mood-Guilty for not feeling guilty.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
I have a visceral, mortal fear.
Of staircases, specifically, of falling down staircases. It's happened before, it can happen again.
Of jinxing things. It's really, really difficult for me to brag. (Though that statement is in itself bragging, in a sense.)
Of getting into trouble. Reason #1 I did not have the typical tumultous teen years or crazy college life. I was just too goddamn aware of the consequences, both possible and improbable, of my actions.
Of failure. Though this is one which I can, and am trying to, get over.
I have others, of course, but these are the ones that really influence every decision, haunt every moment.
~Sam
Retrospection
Wow. I don't think I realized just how depressed I was back then. Even though I have more work now, and equal reason to be stressed, if not more, I'm happy I've evolved enough not to go crazy over it. To have gained a little perspective to look at things as a whole, to see the larger picture.
And I'm glad we started blogging.
Thanks, Malko.
~Sam
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
With regard to the third panel.
I do not want my life to be this.
I do not want my life to be counting calories, running miles.
I do not want my life to be answering to society, fulfilling strangers' expectations.
I do not want my life to be defensive, answering questions from those who don't deserve to ask them.
I do not want my life to be routine.
I do not want my life to be worried.
I do not want my life to be unhappy.
Yes, I will do all of those things, sometimes. Most times.
But I do not want my life to be just that.
I want to eat a cupcake, five cupcakes, without thinking about the consequences to my thighs.
I want to tell someone to fuck off when they ask me why I'm doing things so strangely. People who ask through looks and smirks, who have not the courage to use their words. Because if they had the courage to ask, they would have the sense not to want to.
I want to get up and fly to Paris, simply because.
I want to smile at the old man with his little dog, whom he used to let me pet back in seventh grade, without thinking that he's a kidnapper.
I want to laugh off getting fired and immerse myself in a book. Jump into an inviting pool fully clothed. Run down the street to hug my love.
I want..to live.
~Sam
Thursday, March 14, 2013
I'm not even sure why we have viewers anymore (if we do).
Loving is giving more, and getting more than you'd ever imagined you could or would.
Beginnings and endings are so special to us, to all of us, as a race. One rarely comments about the beauty of the sun at high noon-it's always a sunrise or a sunset that wells the heart. Maybe because they actually are more beautiful, but the same can be said about births and deaths, which have a way of bringing us together in a way that most occasions don't. We celebrate birthdays every year, a symbol of a beginning; we celebrate weddings and moving and retirements and farewells, because they're a new beginning, and an ending.
Not yet.
Not yet decided,
Not yet written.
Not yet a star,
Not yet a somebody.
Putting something into words is such a big deal. It imparts such a sense of certainty. Permanence. Words are so..lasting.
I am intensely fascinated by bruises, both metaphorical and literal.
Epiphany of the week: I've realized that I actually have hope for the human race, despite all our contradictions and our wars and our stupid silly quarrels and our egos and our occasional insipidity. Despite our Hitlers and our Idi Amins. Because we still have Schindlers, so many Schindlers that we don't even know their names. Friends, lovers. Who sacrifice for us, even if it is something as simple as staying up all night just to let us rant. And despite what Ayn Rand may have preached, I still do believe that to sacrifice for someone is the greatest thing you can do for them, and, in the right situations, for yourself.
~Sam
Friday, March 1, 2013
Suffocating.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Chickens!
Isn't is strange and interesting and weird how when we talk about the food, it's always singular, "chicken", but when we speak of the creature, it can be plural, too?
~Sam, who has a marching tune stuck in her head and can't stop marching (though no one around here seems to consider that unusual, strangely enough).
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Best feelings in the world.
- Long Hot Showers. Feeling the tension ease off as each drop of water acquaints itself with your shoulders.
- Macaroni and Cheese when you've been starving for hours.
- An incomprehensibly good song that drives you insane.
- Books that make you want to scream out for the character's agony or burst into flames for their happiness.
- Slowly crawling back into your warm sea of blankets knowing that you have more time to sleep on a cold winter's day.
- The scent of rain and feeling its spray touch your skin.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Choices
So I've spoken about how I live in a state of constant indecisiveness, and that is more true than you can imagine. Constraint of time is the only thing that makes me hurry up and make a choice, which, like everything else I do, I make at the last possible minute.This is true of pretty much every choice I've made till date, whether I'm deciding what to order at a restaurant..or what career to pursue.
This story is about the latter.
So, rewind a bit in my life. It's time to pick a college/university/whatever you refer to them as. I'll stick to college. I'm eligible for two equally brilliant ones, and it's time to make a choice, that much detested thing. One of these colleges is what I specifically prepared for, and far beyond what I'd ever hoped to reach. The other offers me the course which I love. Why was I preparing for a course different from what I love? Well I prepared for both, but my focus was on one. There was a choice involved there, too, another one-foolishly-taken at the last moment, but let's just say that reason led to this one. The whole brain v. heart conundrum again. This one had better prospects, and I liked it well enough; that one was the eternal love and passion of my life. If I was to pick the first, I had to start preparing, and soon, and so I began, without quite realizing that this was one in a line of choices that would determine the course of my life. Without thinking about what I was losing. I had been slightly hesitant, and thought I'd leave myself open to both my options, what I liked and what I loved, and pick depending on where I got in-thought that I would decide later when, if I got in.
That first step in the sea swept me away though. The fact that I had a goal in mind, something to work at; the fact that I invested so much in preparing, all sort of cemented this option in my mind, automatically relegated the second option, what I loved, to second place. A back up, a second choice. I'd dreamed about making it to a certain place: never did I dream of getting accepted to a better place. When that happened, everyone, everyone was overjoyed. Except me: I was still in shock I think. I don't remember much, but I distinctly remember that I wasn't..happy. Just numb. I had found out earlier that I might eligible for the place I loved-I wouldn't know until later that I might have been accepted there had I passed the interview (which I didn't attend, having already made my decision by then), and I wouldn't regret it until even later than that, when life and consequences had caught up with me.
This story is still incomplete. And I think it always will be, because I will never know where that other path would have led. I don't even fully know where this path is going. Maybe they'll merge somewhere, though. Maybe I'll be sure somewhere.
~Sam
Post 'The Book Thief'
~Sam, whose heart just finished crying over The Book Thief.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
The Difficulty of Explaining Something to Someone on the Outside
Well the title sort of says it all. I just finished reading The Devil Wears Prada (not a good idea, should've finished Lolita instead) and the main character, Andrea, talks about how her work life is so completely insulated from the outside world, and how no one on the outside can understand her, not even her best friend.
And that is so, so true. I highly doubt I'm the only person who relates with that. People keep asking me how life is, how things are going, how I like this and that, how I like my new place, and how do you explain? How do you possibly put all the feelings into words and explain them to someone who isn't there and will not be able to understand (and usually, who isn't even listening, which is just pissing off)? When you put something into words, it becomes so real, so understated, so..incomplete. Because you can't speak someone a blogpost giving them a complete picture of your life. Can't answer a "How are you?" with a thousand word reply of how, exactly, you are. You just say "Fine" and move on with life. Because even if you gave them the thousand words, they still wouldnt understand, wouldnt be there, in your place, feeling and seeing and being.
Much as I value words, they aren't the same as feelings, as participation, as presence.
~Sam
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Stupid facebookers
Facebook statuses are repeating what everyone else had been saying and raking in the likes. >.<
~Sam
I blame the movies.
I blame the movies. The movies and the books, but I can't hate my beloved books so I'm just going to lay all the blame on the movies. For showing me pretend, fantasy and making me believe, wish that it was real. For screwing up my life by setting such high standards of what a scripted reality can be like, and for making me forget that that's just what it is: scripted. Not real. Never real.
~Sam
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Ending
The day is ending.
The sky is darkening,
The balloons are drooping,
Their life running dry.
The sun is setting,
The crows are crying,
Circling round the sky.
Leaves scatter the ground,
The heavens glow dull,
The night creatures start to stir.
The crescent moon already rising,
I accompany it up the stairs.
Down the hall,
Through the door,
Into my haven.
And a day in the world ends.
~Sam
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Too much
Sometimes, I think having too much of something turns out worse than having too little. Being too smart, too rich. The ones with average insight, the poorer ones, their lives are so much simpler. When you're happy, satisfied, content with just the bare essentials. When a tiny step forward is a giant leap. Much as I hate Economics, I do see the whole decreasing marginal utility principle applying in my life: the tenth slice of chocolate cake is not half as tasty as that first bite. And while you still might keep eating it because the basic aim of our lives is to get more, and more-you've already crossed your optimum level of happiness.
But you can't not want more. You can't..regress..to ignorance, to poverty. Nor can you really keep still: once you begin, you always hunger for more, even as you move from necessity to indulgence to gluttony. From need to contentment to a constant dissatisfaction.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
My Dad Got Me A Toy Helicopter For My Birthday
Maytheforcebewithyou.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Everything is a lie.
This is the 200th.
Your life is a lie.
You're in the Matrix.
I'm evil.
Haha.
Happy New Year!
~Sam
200('13)
~Sam
I also pray for a better 300th post than the 100th or 200th were. *sigh* Such anticlimactic-ness.
Oh, and that I get better at board games, and find more time to play them.
And that I finish my 346 long reading list on Goodreads, and add more to it.
And that I write better, and more, and become more confident with my writing. That I'm not ashamed to own up to it.
And that I get whatever I want (which isn't bad for me) :P
That I get some certainty in my life, and my opinions, and make up my mind about who I am and what I believe and what I want to be.
That I figure out why people are actually reading this.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Space Filling VIII
Like, I'm not going to watch TV again this year. I'm not going to eat again this year. I'm not going to breathe again this year.
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Okay I got used to Space Filling and now I have nothing substantial to say for the big two-oh-oh so I'll just keep rambling here.
Rambling should be a good way to herald in the new year. Maybe I can ramble through that.
Instead of rambling, I should have just kept a diary of what I did tonight.
Though there wouldn't be much to say. All I did was:
-avoid social pressure to attend a party of any sort, along with a friend of mine who, for clarity's sake shall be referred to as Vowel-less
-watch a part of The Notebook and drool over Ryan Gosling [despite his total creepiness in the beginning when he tries to get whatshername to date him]
-go get the Chinese delivery
-hog on Chinese food
-initiate facebook conversation with Random Person I
-chatter like I've known him forever and be my usual happy high self
-get pissed off at Stupid Comment
-make sarcastic comments about Random Person I's intelligence, and lack thereof
-initiate conversation with Random Person II, who is also Scary MetalHead Weed Guy, in a group conversation so I don't have to face him alone
-regret the decision
-regret the decision
-get bored
-regret the decision
-blog
-blog
-blog
-blog
-blog
-blog
-regret the decision
-answer blog comments
-blog
-turn into Grouchy Grinch five seconds before the New Year
I EVEN FORGOT TO UPDATE MY STATUS TO "I WILL NOT BREATHE AGAIN THIS YEAR". No fair. :/
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WHATEVER EITHER WAY THIS IS THE 199TH POST PEOPLE!
I hope all of them weren't as lame and pointless as the last few, though I'm quite sure a lot of them have been.
OHMYGOD 200 POSTS ALREADY THIS HAS ALL GONE BY TOO FAST STOP STOP STOP.
THERE ARE TOO MANY FEELS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I CAN'T ARGHIHASJKDFSA;HF.
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE! I hope it's awesome and no one wishes they were dead.
~Sam
Space Filling VII
One went well, except for an awkward part in between where the person was an idiot.
The other has been absolutely awkward so far. Let's see how it proceeds.
~Sam
Space Filling VI
I already have nothing to say.
Gah.
~Sam
Space Filling IV
Can't even count any more.
IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR THAT I'VE FELT SLEEPY BEFORE 2 AM, LIKE REALLY, BRAIN?
~Sam
Space Filling III
How was your New Year's? No, I'm not filling up space, I actually care. Honest!
~Sam
Space-Filling I
All my friends are out partying. I'm just sitting here, studiously avoiding drunk people and their puke, and sane people and their chatter. I was perfectly fine until two minutes ago when I was reading (for the first time in over a month, oh the travesty, but at least I reclaimed my reading love), but then my book ended and now...
Now I'm sitting and staring at my laptop screen as the last hours of a year of my life tick by.
~Sam
Friday, December 28, 2012
The Niceness Code
Here's a Code to help other people on their mission to be nice (and to help me on my mission to have 200 posts by the end of this year).
The Niceness Code
Article 1: Don't Be Not Nice.
Article 2: Be Nice.
The End.
PS: Don't judge. To each his own is the motto of the Nice One.
~Sam
PPS: Don't forget to read the very very important post right below this!
Important Blogger-y Blog Notice
~Sam and Malko
I am a Poem.
I am whatever my writer wants me to be;
Whether it is about blue skies or battle fields.
Whether its is pain, joy or a journey.
Whether it is love, war or peace.
I am whatever my writer wants me to be.
I am a reflection of thoughts,
made up of words and letters.
I am figments of imagination.
I am feelings.
I am rage.
I am vents.
I am thoughts.
I am whatever my writer wants me to be.
I am a Poem.
Friday, December 21, 2012
I just can't
The worst thing is the sheer number of people that want it to happen.
~Sam
End
~End
Clules Stewart Pattinson
Or maybe Juaire.
Clules Stewart Pattison would be an interesting person, I think.
Clues Stewart Pattinson, which is what I initially thought the name was, would be even better.
Why do we already have a Kristen Stewart label? =/
Oh right. That post about her cheating.
This sudden spate of posts has nothing to do with my plan to post our 200th post on New Year's. Nothing at all.
~Sam