Safety

Safety seems to be a commodity as much as jewellery is- and just as inaccessible.

Safety is having a closed door behind a closed gate in a "good" part of town. Safety is having a car to move around in. Safety is not having to take the deserted bus at night. Safety is having pepper spray, being able to afford those self-defence lessons. Safety is being able to avoid dangerous situations, like a midnight run to a "washroom" out in the fields.

Safety is expensive.

~Sam

Two minute "poetry"

I remember a scene from St. Clare's
Or was it Malory Towers?
One of those Enid Blyton books.
Where a character, a French girl,
Wants to get out of class
And decides to fake a stomach ache-
Only to point to her heart instead.
Or maybe it was the opposite,
And she mistook stomach for heart.
Either way, the point stands-
That there is such an odd connection between the two.
Butterflies in your stomach
Usually signify trouble for that racing heart,
And nothing causes nausea as bad as impending heartache.
My heart will miss my family when I leave
And my eyes will cry and my throat will be sore
But it's my stomach which will be the first to get troubled.

It's my stomach which has become the first to get troubled.

~Sam

And we danced all night, to the best song ever!

Yes, I occasionally listen to One Direction.
Best Song Ever is actually the second most listened to song on my playlist, courtesy a night of frantic working to which it provided the background music.
I even go on a Taylor Swift spree at times.
I have the posters of six famous paintings on my wall, and I couldn't tell you the name or artist of more than one.
I read young adult-and worse, I enjoy it, in a way I never enjoyed Lolita or The Fountainhead.
I make grammatical errors, while correcting others'.
I used to typ lyk dis unironically.

Go ahead, judge me on that.
But know that you are judging me on that which means nothing at all-
And I say this as a person who loves music and art and writing and reading-
That means nothing at all.

If you want to judge me,
Judge me instead on the manner in which I snap at my mother,
When I think she doesn't understand me.
Or the way in which I go, tail between legs, and hug her,
When I remember that she understood me before I even knew myself.
Judge me for being so arrogant, and having so many self-esteem issues,
All in the span of a single thought.
Judge me for what I preach and believe in, and what I continue to practice-
For those being two separate things.
For my weakness, when I go get waxed anyway-
For not being strong enough on my own.
Judge me for what affects me, what angers me, what shames me
What causes conflict, what makes me laugh and what leaves me cold.
For crying for a Titanic but averting my eyes from Iraq.
Judge me on the manner in which I judge others.
I'm a horrible person and I'm a wonderful person,
But you won't know which until you judge me on something which matters.



~Sam

Where are we going?

We go step through painful step, hoping to one day make a stairway to heaven. Not knowing where it leads, not knowing whose heaven it is we're so painstakingly heading toward.
Just climbing, climbing, climbing.

But is a fall, a break to enjoy the view, to get your bearings, so bad?

I used to want to change the world. I wanted to be remembered, I wanted to torture students by going down in history with my difficult name, I wanted to be more than one face in seven billion. I still want to make a difference, but with regard to the rest of it, I'm beginning to wonder...why?

Success is so valued in society today-and since forever, I suppose-that it seems crazy to write about failure not being all that bad. For all our talk about someone only failing when they give up, failure as a stepping stone, failure as a part of life, the message that it's okay to fail never seems to really filter in. That failure is natural, necessary-that there must always be a loser-is all fine in theory, as long as that loser is not you. Which is okay, which makes sense. We survive because we strive to succeed, to do better, eat more, sleep softer. But isn't there a point where enjoying what you have should be more than enough, where you can...not be stigmaitzed by failure?

Can there be joy in being average? I see it like this: there are different levels of the atmosphere, where you push against pressure and gravity and all that is against you-but after that there is space. Free and floaty and content and happy. Now whether you go fifty light years away or five hundred, you are still going to be in space. But we don't seem to see that: we don't enjoy the feeling of space, hard-won in the battle against the atmosphere. It's like at every level you're just striving to be more, in whatever level of the atmosphere you are, whether it's a peon trying to be a general manager or a GM trying to be a CEO. And at each level, you get used to it and you start having problems. From not being able to eat out as much as you want to, or to be able to vacation in Italy, to the WiFi malfunctioning.We just keep moving. Keep fighting to go further and further in, even if nothing changes anymore. Even if, after a while, the energy spent in moving further far outweighs any pleasure received from it.

I know that as a human race, we've come this far, however far that is, because of this urge for more and more, even if you're happy here and now, you must want more. And that's cool, it keeps us alive. But when so many of us have moved past struggling to survive to eating cake everyday, perhaps it's time we stood still for a while, stopped hankering for more, enjoyed our immense privilege and helped the others catch up with us.


~Sam
PS: I do realize that these feelings are not universal, although I have made it sound that way in my writing.

April and May favorites

These two months were pretty dull because I had exams in April and May was just hot man. It's too hot here in Hyderabad. So once again I am combining two months in one favorites.

1. The Air Conditioner- I am so so so thankful to my AC, because I honestly would have died without it.
2. My Bed. I am not even exaggerating if I say I spend 23.5 hours a day on my bed. I sleep in it, sit(more like slouch in it) when I'm on the laptop or reading and that's basically it. That is all that I am doing right now.
3. Shorts and those pants which are ultimately breezy. I can't with jeans and skinnies right now. I just can't.

Well that's about it.

ThisisMalkosaying
Maytheforcebewithyou

Why Facebook Pisses Me Off

ughbbbbbbvddgdhhjjj. Those were the actual noises I made while sitting up from my regular slouching position. I was rewarded with a fresh dosage of cramps from my morning workout. I woke up before 2 p.m. today, so that's an accomplishment.

 Something that really bothers me is social network conversations. You're pretty good friends and post on each others walls; I can try and understand that, even though I don't particularly enjoy engaging via such methods. I mean, it's called "Social Networking" right? It is not your planner. Now don't get me wrong, there it is absolutely okay to post a picture of yourself and caption it with fun things once in a while, but seriously there's a limit.
 So if you're really good friends with someone, and you talk everyday, I would assume that it gets tedious to converse through Facebook and that you must have exchanged phone  numbers at some point. You were friends for years, you have their number, SO WHY DON'T YOU TEXT THEM ABOUT YOUR PLANS INSTEAD OF DISCUSSING THEM ON FACEBOOK. I honestly don't understand this. It's like they NEED to let everyone know their plans. "Text me omg I need to tell you something so bad!" *Annoyed laugh* See now THIS-this really pisses me off. For fucks sake just text them about it. Are you that socially dependent to let everyone know? I DON'T WANT TO SEE HOW YOUR CONVERSATIONS LOOK LIKE ON FACEBOOK THAT'S WHY THEY INVENTED PHONES OR EVEN INBOXES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Yes, inboxes. If you absolutely must use Facebook to exchange conversations for some reason, inbox please. 
  If I were to voluntarily follow a blog, then it's acceptable, but I honestly do not want to see by the minute updates on Facebook. Don't get all hate mode on me saying "People can do what they want..blah blah blah"; yes they can. But that doesn't mean you don't owe it to yourself and the world to be the most reasonable(intelligent) version of yourselves so that you can effectively manage your social networks in a manner that isn't unpleasant.  I follow you on twitter to receive updates. Even if it is by the second. That is fine, because I-ME- chose to follow you. Just don't do it on Facebook? I don't want to unfriend 100 of you. I don't want to be mean, I really don't(Okay, I try not to anyway). So please, use the social media wisely. Don't be that person.

May Favourites!

1. I'm living up to at least some of my resolutions! Yay!
2. Eleanor and Park. It was beautiful.
3. Finally figuring out that, as per Pottermore, I'm a Hufflepuff with a hard ash wand, unicorn core, ten and three-fourth inches. And a Siamese cat as a pet! YAY! ^_^
4. A bunch of Americans have come over for their summer program. Hanging out with them (and missing classes, heehee) has been so awesome!
5. Food and dressing up. Always amazing.
6. Hannibal (the TV show). So disturbing, but so good.

Feeling like exclamations,
~Sam!