God

This post has been in the waiting for a long time. I keep thinking I want to do it, then decide against it, then consider doing it, then reconsider the reconsideration, and so on.
I figured I'd just do it and get it over with. [Plus, I have a lot of work to do and I'm running out of reasonable methods of procrastination.]
The thing is, this Calvin and Hobbes strip pretty much covers everything I feel.

Calvin's is a valid concern. And it's one of the reasons I love Calvin and Hobbes so much. Like I've said multiple times about John Green (writer, vlogger and human being extraordinairre), the words are so unassumingly profound. Funny, too, but also surprisingly deep at times, particularly for a comic strip.
I believe God exists. I want to believe, I hope that God exists. Because I have to. Not because some religion forces it upon me, but because life makes no sense without God. I suppose one could say that life can be profound and meaningful even without a higher presence. That Man is a means and an end in himself.

But that's so..empty. I need some sort of higher power to pray to, to give me hope to deal with the inevitable, to deal with what I can't change.
To believe in.


At least I think I do.


~Sam

I should probably space out my posts better.

Meh. Management has never been my thing anyway.

~Sam

Why I Want the World to End In December

Because it would be SO COOL, to begin with.
Because I want to know what happens.
Because I want it to happen in my lifetime.
Because I don't want to die alone. I'm the girl who drags someone along with her everywhere she goes [reminds me of Harry's dilemma with Cho in the fourth book, harr harr], so yeah, I would prefer for a couple of billion people to accompany me on my final journey, too.
Because life sucks and then you die. [Had to say that.]
Because I want to know when I'm going to die so that I can plan the remainder of my life accordingly. Even a couple of weeks in advance would be fine. I don't like living in ambiguity (the irony, considering this is my natural state of existence), and how am I supposed to plan out my life if I don't even know how long I'm going to live for? [I have a post on this and I would link you to it but Í'm supposed to be working (surprise, surprise)].
Because I'm a last-minute-r. I've spent most of my life leaving things to the last minute, and I'd like this to happen when I'm relatively young so that when imminent death galvanizes me into finally living out my disproportionately long bucket list, I have the energy and the will to do so in a proper manner.
Because..other things which I don't have the time to articulate. Suffice to say, it is a long and convincing list.


~With a pinch of morbidity,
Sam 

I dream.

Of being on the New York Times bestseller list.
Of having memes of my quotes, fangirls (boys?) of me.
Of being happy.
Of being sexy.
Of finding Him.
Of being beautiful, in love.
Of chocolate cake.
Of opening a bakery. (I can't bake, this won't happen.)
Of marrying a baker.
Of bakery-scented deodorants. (Yes, I like bakeries.)
Of comfortable stilettos.
Of long, beautiful hair.
Of a beautiful house, and an even more beautiful home.
Of a world with no mosquitoes, cockroaches, rats, lizards or hate. (The rest, I can live with.)
Of flawless skin.
Of tasty health-food. (Again, not happening any time soon.)
Of a world of love.
Of a world I love.

I dream of writing something beautiful, something original, something so deep, so profound, that everyone can see its truth, everyone can feel it; that no one has words to express their awe, that everyone will remember always, and quote, and dwell on, and revel in. I dream of writing something that is mine.

~Sam

Though these days of course, I pretty much just dream of sleep. 

The problems with living for today.

That sounds like an essay title.

Bleh.

Anyway.


I've been repetitively listening to Imagine for a few days now, and while I agree with and hope for most of what Lennon says, the line "Imagine all the people living for today",  sounds to me a little..problematic. I mean, if I lived only for today, I wouldn't get anything done at all, and I'm quite sure the rest of the world agrees with me on that. If someone told me I'd die tomorrow (and if I believed everything I was told), I'd hop onto the first flight outta here and go absorb as much Europe as I could in a day. Or go visit my friends, live out my bucket list, something. I certainly wouldn't sit at my desk and work and contribute to the continued functioning of the world as we know it.
And if everyone thought that, everyone would want to go out and have fun, and no one would work, and there would be no one to man the flights, or drive the taxis, or sell fruit, or do anything and then there would be chaos and riots and mobs and the world would collapse and everything would end and the sun would swallow us up and we'd all die.

I could go on, but I think we can all see how Utter Chaos And Death would be a problem.


[Yes, this is what I get from one of the most hopeful songs in the world.
Then again, I'm the one who gets cheered up with Welcome to My Life when I'm depressed, which goes to say something to you.]



Though I guess if you took Lennon a little less literally, and a little more utopia-ic-ally, which I suppose is how he intended himself to be taken, everybody living for today wouldn't sound like such a bad idea after all. Maybe.

~Sam

Let us all take time to see just how passionate, hate-filled this post is.

http://awesomewebe.blogspot.in/2011/11/random-ramblings-by-hate-filled-person.html

Haha. okay. Bye.

I HAD TO.

I was watching the VMA's and I just HAD to pause it(I downloaded the show) to blog about this. This particular thing has been trending  ALL over the world breaking the hearts of twihards(I can't believe I used that word. They sound like a dangerous cult don't they?). The break up of Kristen and Rob. Yeah okay, she cheated on him with Rupert Sanders. Shit happens okay? She made a mistake. Leave the poor girl alone. We have no right to barge in their personal lives. Sometimes, I think people forget that, what happened was their life, not a movie. So yes, here I am, feeling bad for Kristen. Let the girl breathe man. It isn't really our place to judge. That is all.


This is Malko saying,
Maytheforcebewithyou(not too much force though)

Thoughts

Some thoughts are like the phone when a friend calls you and forgets to cut the line when she’s done. You can try as much as you want, but you just can’t cut the call. Can’t sever the connection, can’t get rid of it.

I still haven’t managed to write down, or quite compose my views on God, but I think I’m an agnost. Not an atheist, not a believer; an agnost. Why? Because I apparently revel in indecision, that’s why. It’s like, my natural state of existence: Undecided.

You know what else is my natural state of existence? Guilty. If Barney has an extra awesome gland instead of tear glands, I have guilt glands instead of…every gland.
Talk while the sweet new teacher is teaching? Guilt.
Be a bitch about a bitch? Guilt.
Be generally PMS-y and bitchy? (Albeit belated) Guilt.
Forget to thank Random Guy who gave me directions? Hang up too quick on my mum? Instant guilt.
Skive off on a job? Get yelled at? Let loose the guilt gates.

Yeah, you get the point.

~Sam

Ahcsakjdjkcbjd

I keep getting (arguably) awesome ideas to write on and then I want to write but I don't have my laptop and by the time I get my laptop I'm too tired to do anything except stare catatonically at facebook and then I feel horrible about myself and all I want to do is curl up in my bed to die but then I don't die and I wake up and I still haven't written anything and..please don't hate me? I'll write..something. Soon. Eventually. Promise.

~Sam

In the meanwhile, you're free to hate on Malko all you want.