I want Him.

-[2014 me is laughing so hard at this right now. So dramatic, wow.] [2015 edit: No, really, what was I on?]-

I NEED Him. And no, I'm not talking about God, though a few more blessings here and there from Him wouldn't go unwanted either. Is that grammatically correct? Probably not. Do I care? No. I don't even care about the fact that I don't care, that's how far gone I am right now.

I need him. My perfect guy. My hot boyfriend, though I want him to be a lot more than just a hot boyfriend that I can brag about. My soul mate, maybe? My love. The one who makes all my troubles go away, if only for a little while. The one who'll be my treasure, my "precious", my anchor, my harbor, my world. The one who'll make me laugh when I know I'm about to cry, a la Taylor Swift in "You Belong With Me", the one who'll lend me his shoulder and his handkerchief without asking for anything when I do cry, the one who'll love me despite the sniffles and the snot and despite all my faults and neediness. The ark that I can come into after a long hard annoying plain pissing off day (which today has been, in case you hadn't noticed). The one who'll hold me and love me and nurture me and complete me make me so much more than me. The one who belongs with me. The one I can spend the rest of my life with, and no, I do not give a damn if humans are sociologically not created to be monogamous. The one I can rant at and bitch in front of, without him thinking any less of me, because no matter how much you try to unbitch yourself there are certain people who're just begging for someone to bitch about them, who insist on coming in your way no matter how much you try to avoid them, who insist on making you break your promise to, well, to unbitch yourself, who force themselves under your skin and make you want to just tear out your hair (or, alternatively, to punch them) and get them out of your system.

The one who'll be there, all day, every day, perfect and sane, the beach to my ocean, the bank to my river. With dimples ^-^ And I know he probably doesn't exist, and I'm setting the standard too high, and I should just  get used to the fact that no one, NO ONE, can be that perfect, but right now, I just need hope. And even if he only exists in my imagination for my entire life, I will still hope that he's out there, somewhere (only I hope I find him before I marry Mr Second Choice, cuz I really don't wanna cheat on and/or divorce anyone).

~A Slightly-Less-Exasperated Sam

Also, I don't know if anyone is reading this besides moronsorginally (who, by the way, I will always love and remember as being my first real comment-or), but thanks a lot. Also, Malko, for the idea to start a blog, because it's nice to have someone to rant at, even if it's only a blank page. Thank you, love you, and God bless you. And now I sound old. *sigh*