Sunday, November 6, 2011

I am about to have a breakdown.

People tired of me ranting and raving and being depressed and PMS-y, go away. This is not for you.

People depressed and looking for someone to empathize with , read on.

So I woke up happy today, and I thought-"I've been moaning too much, I should really surprise them (as in, you. Yes you. You right there looking at this right now) with a happy post." So then I was sitting and thinking about how the sun is shining and the birds are singing and la di da di da-and then shit happened. (Doesn't it always?). And I know it happens to everyone, and that I'll be happy again tomorrow, and that I'm not the only sufferer in the world, and that there are people out there who are suffering more than am, but when have other people's sufferings ever made a difference to your own? I can't tell you what my suffering is because I'm trying to be anonymous and not get killed or kidnapped by some random stalker, and this is a pretty identity-related problem, but what I can tell you is..its all building up. All the stress and the tension and the worry and the bullshit. The expectations and the judgement. All of it. Like tears at the back of your eyes, and that cry-ey feeling in your throat, which doesn't go away because you don't let yourself cry, for whatever reason. But one day, those tears are gonna come out. And I'm going to cry. And I'm going to scream. And I'm going to bitch and argue and fight and be an extremely mean, rude, selfish person who does not Give A Damn. And I really hope that day comes soon, because then it'll all be okay. It'll all be out, and I'll be normal again, I'll be me again. The tears will be out, all my frustrations will be vented, and we can all live happily ever after and not have to contend with depressing posts from me ever again. Until the next time I PMS. But anyways.

 So here is me sincerely hoping that Breakdown happens, and happens SOON. Or that all the frustration building up within me disappears on its own, without needing a breakdown, like ice cream in the fridge or money in the bank.

~A Very Bleh, Sam


I really hope no one read this. I haven't proofread, or even cared about being coherent. But if you did, kudos to you! And to me, because I finally managed to say "kudos" xD


I'll go away now. 

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